DRY 8!!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Hello! This is our 8th! thread for those who are abstaining from alcohol and for those who want to abstain. :) We love newbies and lurkers. We have people who have been DRY for years, for months, for weeks, days, and hours. :) ALL are welcome. We have heaps of tips and we offer support at any stage.

DRY 7 the previous thread is here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2347295-DRY-7?

Maybe a bit early to start celebrating but I am designated driver tonight so definitely a dry night (apart from the copious amounts of free sparkling water I will no doubt consume).

Hope your evening goes well cheesy. See you in the morning.

Hi everyone. Sending strength to everyone who needs to be in close proximity to booze. I'm finding a wine free house is the answer. I'm listening to the Rob Lowe audio book and pottering around away from the kitchen. I'm cooking tea v early so I don't spend my usual hour in the kitchen refilling my glass. Just heating up tea, eating, then bath and early night. I'm living the life of a monk!

Hi all, just checking in. Hope all is well. I am looking forward to a relaxing sober weekend.

Hadron me too - no booze zone here too and living like a monk is the best way to nail the early days. You can stretch your wings once you're feeling more solid in your not drinking :)
Cheesy and Bubbles wishing you cape and cake strength as in sober superpower stuff Here's to a lovely hangover free morning

I am about to start the evening meal. I have such a bad headache, though. Want to just go to bed tbh :(

Best of luck to all the sober party goers :)

Thanks lucy. Oddly I've always been so very good when out with others. It's just at home I struggle.

Ah yes hadron me too. Drinks while getting ready and multiple nightcaps afterwards when I got home meant people didn't see the worst of my excesses when out with others. Home was where the biggest damage was done with me too whether I was going out or staying in!

Oh no glad finish meal and cry off to bed with headache?

Hadron I've recently read that book and loved it. Sounds like you're doing exactly what is needed.

Good luck to those out with others and around booze tonight.

How are you doing BamBam?

Hi everyone.

Hope everyone is fine. :) bamBam how are you? Glad how is your poor head?

I am okay. Sadly not designated driver as the conference is in a hotel. But I am now on my room sipping green tea and watching Mock the week. I went to waitrose and treated myself to walnut bread, blue cheese and grapes so I can have breakfast in bed tomorrow and read the papers rather than face everyone and have a fry up. Had copious amounts of lemonade and spent the evening being bored by everyone being jolly. I would have LOVED tonight if I had been drinking. All that 'bonding' and 'networking'. And the suffering tomorrow. (not). As it was I feel so good on my bed. :)

AA meeting tomorrow. The conference sessions finish at 4.30. I am aiming for an AA meeting at 6 pm then a movie followed by a Vietnamese meal afterwards on my own while my colleagues do whatever it is they are planning. I feel really self nurturing and happy. i never get time to myself...... this is BLISS!

Well done Cheesy, not sure I'd have been so disciplined if I wasn't driving but I had a fab night and ate far too much free food - I don't tend to eat much when I'm out drinking.

Some-one pointed out an off-licence on the way back that is open until 2am, ordinarily I would have popped in on my way home but no, straight home, Horlicks and bed. I feel that self-nurturing and happiness too.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

I'd better get some sleep, work tomorrow but no hangover.

I need help or I'm going to ruin everything. Everyone has had enough of me. DD is 13 today and she hates me. I hate what alcohol has done to me.

Cheesy and Bubble well done!! Cheesy that sounds like you planned brilliantly for your stay away and no hangovers today all round! Woohoo
BamBam are you okay?
MissHoolie We're here to help as best we can. Whatever happened yesterday go easy on yourself today. Heaping shame on myself just made me want to drink to forget

Hi MissHoolie. Three weeks ago I could have written your post almost to the letter.

But on the 1st September I made the decision to do something about it. I've tried before (and failed) and I know recovery is an ongoing (and probably never ending) process.

I had a couple of blips during the first week but everyone here has been very supportive and I feel I am now on my way to undoing some of the damage my drinking has caused.

Everyone here is very kind and supportive and if you let them, they will hold your hand on your journey, encourage you on your good days and help you back up on your bad days.

Its hard work, but worth it, so come join us. Lets do this together.

BamBam - Hope you're okay.

Thank you. I will post more later - the usual sorry story I'm sure you've heard a hundred times before. I just don't know how it got this bad. I will not be drinking today.

What's happened today misshoolie? Is it really that bad? 13 can dislike everyone and everything in my limited knowledge of teenagers!

Hi everyone. Sorry I disappeared. I am still, unfortunately, not dry. But I am still feeling positive that we are going to do this. Does that sound stupid? We haven't had as much as usual these last 2 nights. I don't know how the weekend will go, but ideally I would like to taper off and then start being dry as of Monday. I will try to ignore the Vodka Vampire, who is shouting that it's the weekend, so I should get plastered.

I have got an appointment later this morning for root canal work. Aarrgh!

Well done to all the dry party-goers!

Hope you are okay misshoolie

If gradual withdrawal is working for you bambam then keep going. There's no one way to this. Being aware of your problem and voicing them are the first steps. I've found it easier with my husband being away this week as I've mixed up my routine and indulged myself on a whim (lots of new make up = reward). One word of caution and I say this as someone who couldn't moderate- don't kid yourself how much youre drinking. I did for a long time by repeatedly filling my glass before it was empty so I could therefore not count how many glasses I'd had!

Thanks hadron. I know that we are both still drinking far too much, and I think it would be all too easy to just get back to where we started again.

It's so hard. I remember when I quit smoking, I kept thinking how I wished I had never taken my first puff, because I hated the fags but bloody loved them too, and if I had never started I wouldn't need to stop. That's exactly how I feel about booze. I think my feelings about booze have always been messed up. My dad was an alcoholic, but the kind who was dry for months, but then had absolutely mad blowouts where he would be comatose for a couple of weeks, then dry again. He could get through 3 bottles of vodka A DAY with cider to wash it down when he was on a binge. My mum never drinks, and sees booze as an evil thing I suppose, understandably. I think I saw my drinking as okay, because I never got into the state he did. But the difference is that I am drinking too much every day.

I am leaving for the dentist very soon. Feel sick at the thought.

Basically I got drunk and ended up lying on the floor, screamed a bit and lashed out at DH when he tried to get me off the floor. All witnessed by DD and DS1's piano teacher. I don't remember any of this, it was all relayed to me by DD. on her birthday.
DH and I have always been heavy drinkers but it's got out of control for me over the last 6 years. Before that, I had a hard and fast rule that I never drank until the DCs were in bed but that gradually began to slide. I also seem to have developed a kind of sporadic allergic reaction to alcohol - most of the time, I tolerate it fine (which still isn't ok because I drink a lot) but there are times when I feel fine one minute and then suddenly blackout and stagger around/fall over etc which is what happened last night.
I managed to stop for about 6 weeks 4 years ago using Antabuse. I think DH actually struggled with it as it took the moral high ground away from him as he was still drinking every day. I think he is genuinely sick of this but, if I try to stop, he subtly tries to sabotage my efforts. Because he drinks, there's always booze in the house. I know that every time I drink, I risk a repeat of last night, it's a bit like Russian roulette.
I think I will go back on the Antabuse, I'm just not strong enough to do this without it when there are half full bottles of vodka lying around.
Thanks for the welcome- I have so much admiration for all of you.

misshoolie if you know what's worked for you before then use today's anger and shame to make that happen again. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you start again. From what you write about your husband it will be very hard to quit while you live with someone unhappy with their own drinking habits. I know I couldn't. If he doesn't support you what are your options? He should want you to quit for you, your daughter and your family.

bambam it sounds to me like you have all the answers but you need to start on your path. It's the weekend - so what? What's the worst that will happen if you start your journey today? Hope you're not too sore from the dentist .

I'm doing really well. My mind feels strong. Someone up thread posted ,'don't rethink your decision' - that's what my problem always was. Saying I'd stop, then just cut down then back to square one. I've even started telling people I'm detoxing so my decision is "out there".

How's everyone else today?

Good stuff Hadron, sounds like your head is in the right space.

BamBam - I predict that this line of thinking... "I don't know how the weekend will go, but ideally...." might not get you where you want to go. How about, if you want to taper, having a fixed tapering plan so you know exactly how much to have over the next few days, reducing the amount each day until a set date which will then be the definite, exact, start?

MissHoolie - welcome to the thread and here are some to stop you beating yourself up so much. Describing it as an allergy is very apt. I really get what you're saying about your DH's 'moral high ground' too; something to watch for. Even if unwittingly, I think relationships in this area are very complex and someone can simultaneously want you to stop but also enjoy you being in that 'weak' position too. What happened at the end of your 6 week stretch of sobriety?

My headache is clearing up :) And I. too, have told people I am not drinking, to prepare for Dry October :)

I had to mutter "fuck you Wolfie" under my breath a few times last night - then I went and had a bath :)

Off to a conference this weekend - driving there and back ( will help me stay sober!) and plan lots of sober treats and Sat night I am having an early meal with a friend ( who knows I am dry) and going to see a film we really want to see, then visiting the hotel Spa, then going to bed nice and relaxed - rather than going out on the town to have a meal and eat and drink with the rest of the conference :) I really really hope this will work for me :)

misshoolie welcome :) Sounds hard with an unsupportive partner (possibly)
bambam if you have been to the dentist maybe not drinking so much would be a good idea? I find alcohol and anaesthetics don't mix too well for me? Just a thought :) Hope dentist goes ok

Today is the first time I have thought about drinking and I am seriously tempted to go and get some wine.

Don't do it Sea. Play the tape to the end. Whatever it is that's making you feel that way will still be there in the morning, along with a hangover to make you depressed and miserable. Anything else you can do to 'treat' yourself instead?