DRY 8!!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Hello! This is our 8th! thread for those who are abstaining from alcohol and for those who want to abstain. :) We love newbies and lurkers. We have people who have been DRY for years, for months, for weeks, days, and hours. :) ALL are welcome. We have heaps of tips and we offer support at any stage.

DRY 7 the previous thread is here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2347295-DRY-7?

Sorry for the typos- writing on phone on a bus!

TEND most of us seem to opt for bath, pjs and early bed.

Tonight, what about a long luxury bubble bath, followed by a mug of hot chocolate.
Maybe some yoga or pilates. Start learning a language with duo lingo or free online course with future learn.

To be honest, at this early stage I would stick to early nights. What about watching tv in bed?

Do you have anything planned for your birthday?

BamBam - you know, I know you're down today and can completely understand you crying last night. But you came straight back on here this morning. And that tells me that despite the stumbles, you KNOW this is what you really want. That knowledge is something you can't "unknow"; it's with you forever now. You're on this journey, and you WILL get there.

What exactly happened last night? Go over it and be honest about what triggered you, because it will help for next time. Even if this means being honest about the relationship between you and DP. I second Sea in that I think you should commit to at the very least, phoning the AA helpline and talking to someone there. There is no shame in needing AA. I think it's worth recognising that it's going to be harder for you at the moment than for many others, with an alcoholic partner enabling the both of you to easily "latch onto" each other in moments of weakness. This doesn't mean you can't do it, or that it's not worth trying. I am worried that your DP is physically dependent and this means that without medical intervention his withdrawal is going to be extremely difficult at best, medically dangerous at worst. I had a feeling that his Day 2 would be your undoing, because he would physically be in need of that drink and somehow or other, you would both succumb.

Can you commit to calling the AA helpline today?

Hi everyone. Still feeling miserable here. The drive with my uncle went fine, until the way back we went the wrong way, and I was trying to work out where to go at a roundabout and went into the railings on my left. At least I was going slow, so no damage done. Just reinforced my crappy self-image today though.

sea and teapot you both talk a lot of sense. I really worry that as long as I am with DP, we just won't crack it, and that's a scary thought. I think, last night, I had DS1's parent interview (traditionally not very great!), so I was a bit stressed about that, and could feel myself really wanting a drink. Then DP said that he was struggling, then a while later he went to the shop for some, and part of me was so relieved that I would get a drink, and part of me was screaming not to have any. When I got upset last night, he said it's always his fault, as he goes and buys it, but most of the time I actually want him to. I know sometimes I will even mention booze, just to put the idea in his head so that he will get some. How messed up is that?

I don't think I could face AA. I will keep reading and trying to find support that way, and here of course, but I couldn't face AA.

BamBam hugs from me and
I do think you need external support (AA or something) you can turn to - although you have us, but we may not be on here when you need us at that particular moment. - otherwise your DP may drag you back with him into drinks... :(
have you thought of joining other online support group? Soberistas or suchlike? Then if there is no one here, there might be someone there you can post to? just a thought - I found being part of other online groups gave me that other place to go ...

tend - my one tip is to drink loads of fluids because I find that my brain confuses physical thirst with wine craving. I always have a tall glass of mixed fizzy water and grapefruit juice when I get in (sort of vague beer substitute ) and then just keep going with the fizzy water. Re TV - it's more about watching it now instead of passing out in front of it. And sometimes I read a book:)

BamBam you sound so much like me and my DH. We were exactly the same - egging each other on or undermining if the other was trying to be strong (talking about me not you there!) Does he want to stop as much as you do? It is going to be hard unless you are both utterly committed. I volunteer at a rehab and sometimes couples go into treatment but in different centres at the same time so that they are on the same page. I'm not suggesting this but I do wonder that if your DP did need medical support to stop that could be helpful for both of you?

Welcome words and tend too. I went to bed early A LOT in the first 6 weeks and it was a life-saver option for me so yes, bath, pj's and read/tv in bed is a great strategy at any time and I still use it regularly now :)

I went to bed super early too.... but now the nights are getting darker I love snuggling in bed with a cocoa and a book. It seems blissful.

Morning all.

Hope everyone has a wonderful sober day.

How you doing Bam?

I am very excited..... going to join a gym today! I have put on 2 stone since I stopped drinking (my binge eating went out of control and I kept justifying it by saying I was saving 800 cals a day by not drinking!). I am now 3 stone oveweight, and heavier than I was when full term with DS!

But.... today is the start of a new me. A new CheesyNachos. I might re-name myself.

Nah, bugger it. Cannot recall my password to change my name!

Humph.

Never mind. I will be SlimCheesy in my head. :)

Hi Everyone. I am struggling a bit. As some of you know I have been suffering from an episode of depression and anxiety since about February which is proving resistant to treatment. My drinking got out of hand as a kind of self medication.

I am now on Day 14 and am having a tough time at work. They are trying to give me more work when we had already agreed that they would not do so until after half term. I turned it down and now the big boss wants to have a discussion with me about it. Work are fully aware of what has been happening as I had 5 weeks off work and OH have been involved.

I am really worried now. What am I going to do if they make me take the work ? I know I would have to start on it straight away and can't just leave it. Also it would require trips of at least 2 hours each way and having looked through it I dont understand it. I feel physically sick.

The tempation to drink is really strong and I was really pleased with myself for doing quite well so far. Just needed to tell someone.

Are you part of a union vxa? Well done for staying dry

Yes I am but I think if they force it I will have to go back to OH and ask them to make a recommendation. I do have a CBT therapist but he is off at the moment because his mum is very ill.

The big boss is useless with crying women and I am dreading it. He hasnt set a time and has just said he will catch me. I have had to take some diazepam which I have not had to do for a while.

Vxa. First and foremost I would recommend having a chat with the union.

Please resist that urge to drink. It will not solve anything and will just make it even more difficult to cope.

vxa yes to contacting your union and contact the CBT therapist to see if there is a locum you could see?

Definitely contact your union then, that's what you pay the money for every month I know a friend had some issues in the past about work hours when returning to work after being off long-term sick with depression. Her union was fab when she contacted them and she has since then worked reduced hours. If it comes to a meeting I would push for a rep to there. at your boss saying he will just catch you. Not acceptable.

to be there, laptop still playing up!

Really wanted a drink tonight.
Not going to have one though.
Had a bag of dried fruit and nuts instead.
It's all glamour!

Well done manandbeast. Rock and roll here too with my peppermint tea.

Well done man.

Wonder how SlimCheesy got on at the gym.

I am trying to go to sleep, but my stomach feels like it's vibrating. It is driving me nuts.

Morning all. It was a bit rock and roll in the Cheesy house too with bed at 8 pm, peppermint tea and a new book.

Deffo talk to the union vxa. They are experts in this sort of stuff and you will be in a much better position if you know your options. Hope it works out.

Hope you got some sleep Sea!

Gym was good! I have joined [gulp] and have a boxercise class this morning. I met at the gym a neighbour and he looked at my stomach and exclaimed 'Oh you are pregnant again!'. Um. No. That's why I am going to the gym. Grrrr.

Ordered a new book from Amazon. (I am getting quite the recovery collection!).

www.amazon.co.uk/Bottled-Moms-Guide-Early-Recovery/dp/193761297X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1444367161&sr=8-1&keywords=dana+bowman

I am only two chapters in so far.

Wishing everyone happy sober days!

I have been off the thread for far too long Still sober (two years in a couple of weeks ). So good to see new people and old people still going! Sat in bed with a stinking cold at the moment. This is reminding me of waking up with thumping head hangovers - yukkk!!!! I honestly do not consider drinking at all nowadays. Such an odd feeling. Will catchup later

molly !! So good to see you. :) Congrats on 2 years almost!

Morning everyone, Still here, still dry!! .

It's lovely to hear the success stories from the long-timers - it keeps me motivated.

I am going out with an old drinking buddy tonight, she is being so much more supportive this time around, who knows - I may even convert her too, although I am definitely not the preachy type.

Happy Friday to all and good luck with achieving a sober weekend.