DRY 8!!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Hello! This is our 8th! thread for those who are abstaining from alcohol and for those who want to abstain. :) We love newbies and lurkers. We have people who have been DRY for years, for months, for weeks, days, and hours. :) ALL are welcome. We have heaps of tips and we offer support at any stage.

DRY 7 the previous thread is here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2347295-DRY-7?

Suzie yes just join in when you feel ready :)

Hi everyone. I am on Day 13 after a few attempts to be AF so I am still very much on my guard, but I am feeling quite proud of myself. I went to a music festival this weekend, and I didn't drink. In fact, I didn't even want to drink. I was quite happy with water, coffee and the odd AF beer. I did lots of activities with my daughter, loved the music and was tucked up in bed with my daughter every night by ten and slept until 8.30.

It was a very family-friendly festival and I actually didn't notice anyone drunk (but then I was in bed quite early). But if I had been drinking, I know I would have been the mother stumbling about by early evening. I am so pleased I wasn't that Mum this time. The friends who I was with, who have seen me pissed many times, didn't bat an eyelid when I said I wasn't drinking.

Fantastic achievement sobermary!! Festivals can be really tricky and using the mix of AF beer, water and coffee was a great idea. Hope you've lined yourself up a nice sober treat by way of reward?

Well done Sobermary, I'm impressed.

Today is day 1 for me.... aiming to stay off booze until Saturday as Im going on Holiday then back trying to be DRY when we get back.

I have to admit I did start saturday and fell off the wagon at a bbq yesterday. Tbh I used the excuse I didnt know the guest very well and needed it. I know.

I thought parts of it made sense Last

You can be anyone you like on social media - present yourself in a different, more confident way and perhaps not "need" alcohol to oil the wheels of confidence, so to speak.
You don't need to go to a pub/bar/restaurant to meet. (my DC never ever go to pubs)
Social media is very "selfie" heavy. How you look is very important.
People are wary of "drunk posting"

Fantastic sobermary I know what you mean about being wary.
I am staying focused but the odd worry crosses my mind although Im not having any cravings or even thinking about alcohol at all.

That makes sense Pink. Mine aren't at that stage yet. Wish I'd been wary of drunk posting in the past . Many a time I've woken up with that sinking stomach hoping I haven't posted anything too bad and almost too scared to check.

Well done sobermary! Respect at attending a festival sober.

Thanks for the warm welcome

Today is day 1. I am initially aiming to keep on the waggon during the week and allow myself something at the weekend.

Bought myself some cleansing root juice...while DP came home with 6 bottles of wine and is currently sipping a glass of white!

Have decided to try and focus on my fitness, would like to try and find time for the gym somehow. About time I concentrated on my own wellbeing for a change!

Feeling confident today.

Thanks everyone! I had my first drinking dream last night and woke up in a foul mood but a walk in the rain with the dog helped. Previous times I attempted to stop drinking I tended to isolate myself, and boredom and loneliness got to me in the end so I am trying to do it a bit differently this time.

Thankfully I have never really engaged with social media but I have written some vitriolic wine-fuelled emails to my ex in the past, which I regret.

Early Birdie I would find it very challenging drinking root juice while my partner drank white wine!

sobermary Drinking dreams - the gift that reminds us of why we don't drink any more :) I used to think social media was not necessarily a good thing but if I'd been filmed in some of my states and it shared I might have changed my behaviour much quicker or it would have become private much sooner ....

What's a "drinking dream" please?

Hello thread :)

I've never had a drinking dream! I had loads of them when I stopped smoking... basically where you dream that you're drinking or smoking after having stopped, and then wake up in a panic thinking that you've relapsed. I've heard drinking dreams are v common and a good reminder that you've made the right decision to stop!

Just celebrated my year soberversary at the weekend. Keep at it everyone, it's the best decision I made and I'm so glad I stopped completely rather than staying on the moderation merry-go-round.

Congrats TeapotDictator!! Love reading comments like yours that it's the best decision you've made. Keeps me going.

Ah :) Thanks Teapot and congratulations from me :)

OMG Teapot that's such a fantastic achievement

I realised today that although its only been a few weeks I have in fact changed my life.

Before I was an anxiety fuelled wreck, in a terrible state just getting through the normal day, barely sleeping or functioning, isolated from everyone as much as possible just to cope.
You can imagine how I was in situations that provoked extra stress.
I just avoided them as much as possible and found even contemplating doing a work presentation torturous and utterly miserable.

Guess what I did today ??????
I did a major presentation for work, nailed it !!!!!!! and actually enjoyed it !

I did it < cartwheels>
Sorry everyone Im just so chuffed.

Wow PinkPop - well done. It really is true that life is so much easier sober! We're all conditioned to think that alcohol is the solution to a stressful life but the truth is it's the problem. Sober or not I would have found that a real ordeal so well done!! :)

Thanks to glad and sobermary :) There are so many rewards to stopping completely, I honestly hope I never go back!

Thanks Teapot Im so happy that I met the person who told me the secret is not to revisit your decision once you have made it.( see last thread)
It makes total sense but it goes in the face of the " sober today " approach advocated by others.
I tried so many times that way and failed so many times.

Ive made my decision -I wont ever drink alcohol again.
Sobriety has shown me how ill I was drinking it

Hello can I join? I've just got back from holiday and a few 40ths where I drank too much.

I've been trying to diet - have about a stone to lose and realised that the alcohol wasn't helping even though I only drink Friday - Sunday at the moment. It was also a bit revealing yo think it much easier to give up chocolate or bread than alcohol.

I'm going to do a dry 30 (day 3 so far) and then see how I go. Hopefull will lose s few lbs too!

Welcome Citrine :) Congrats on day 3!
Teapot once again HUGE congrats on your 1 year. Sober rockstar you I noticed that Redemption has settled in Notting Hill. Maybe an early Sat morning rave at Morning Gloryville and then a sober slap up lunch there is in order?

Well done everyone. I'm going to watch for now as I have failed already again.

When you say life is easier and has many rewards being sober, what fo you mean?

FabuLou some of the rewards IMO are ; no longer having to wonder "what did I do last night? Who did I hurt", not having to hide empties so people don't find out how much you actually drank; having much more money available because you didn't spent it on drink; no longer waking at 4 am heart pounding and drenched in sweat; no more poisoning relationships with your loved ones; you can drive anywhere at any time you like; you feel SO much better and may even lose weight; (eventually) you sleep soundly; (eventually) your skin looks fabulous ...

and you can look yourself in the eye in the mirror and feel proud :)

Just my take on it, though :)

Thanks gladiatopped i suppose mine would be, more money, no more hangovers or day after hangovers!, loose weight, look better, feel better, i'd probably achieve more especially going to the gym, feel less guilty about things I have said and done in occasion.

There are tons pf positives. I had a five day break and felt so mych better. But I am just not ready. I am holiday from Friday so when I get back.

Oh and snoring is bad but worse when I drink, the dry mouth and indegestion.

Morning all. Congratulations Teapot. :) .

Rewards for me: I feel calmer. I like myself more. I am happier. I am less anxious. I can slow down and enjoy things.

Morning! Haven't been here for a while.

Reading back, those 'am I drinking too much?' Threads - it's the first step on the way to realisation isn't it? Probably best not to preach to someone in such early stages. Some of those people will be able to moderate, some will carry on as before and some will eventually figure out that it's all or nothing. It's good that they're asking though even if they get a raft of responses from people saying drinking 10-15 units a night is just fine and dandy.

That figure of 20% of youngsters not drinking, there was always a smaller element of less wild young people for whom drinking just wasn't something that they did but I read somewhere that a large proportion of the teetotal youngsters are Muslim and as the Muslim population has grown so much in the last 20yrs it would make sense that they would bump up the figures. I have two older teens, one of whom isn't the slightest bit interested in even trying it and another who regularly leaves the house brandishing a bottle of cheap vodka (she is over 18). I worry for her and she knows my circumstances but it doesn't appear to make any difference to her. Not much point in lecturing her though is there, I wouldn't have listened to anyone and didn't!

Hello to newbies, good luck, this sober life is great, I love it!

PinkPop I love the 'never revisit the decision' thinking; although I don't think it's sufficient to protect you from potential relapse. I used to misunderstand the 'one day at a time' mantra. I thought it sounded po-faced; insecure; as though each day was a trial to be endured rather than celebrated. In fact I realise now it's more of a nod to a spiritual way of thinking - we can't change yesterday, we can't predict tomorrow... all we can do is deal with today. I don't say "I'm never going to drink again" because to be honest I can't know that. I can say (and do) that I hope I never do. Staying in the today is a profound shift for me - I can spend a lot of time angsting about the past and feeling guilty about failing to achieve what I hoped to etc etc; and worrying about the future. Another AF saying I like is "just do the next right thing". If we spend our lives largely doing the next "right thing" we won't be too badly off... :)

FabuLou asked about the rewards of not drinking (see above). Apart from each day waking up free from a hangover, feeling like a better parent, being free from the guilt/shame, I also feel as though I'm entering a whole new phase of my life which in a nutshell is about being authentic. Sorry if I sound evangelical, I'm feeling it a bit!

tsonly that is a very good point about not preaching to those on that thread; I did post on that one although I hope I wasn't preachy. It feels almost impossible to post on a thread about drinking when you are dry, without being accused of being hand-wringing and a killjoy. You are absolutely right that it's all a part of that person's journey to even ask the question of themselves. I'm afraid to say I get annoyed at the heavy drinkers that come on and patronise anybody who dares to tell the OP that she may be drinking too much, because of course what they are doing is justifying their own heavy drinking. Lucy - what is the considered response to someone who starts down the whole "apparently a bottle of wine a night is considered perfectly healthy and here's the Daily Mail article to back up my opinion" line of argument? I wanted to find Professor Nutt's charts of the effects of alcohol and the one out of many which indicates a beneficial effect but only if you drink 1/2 glass of wine a day (or somesuch!)