I would love to start a family but partner has said no.

[meudail40]

I hope members will be able to give me some advice.

I am 39 and my partner is 46, we met 3 years ago and have had a great relationship. At the beginning I told him I wanted children and always have, I was just waiting for the right man. He told me that he hadn't thought of having more children but could see it happening with me. He has 2 children from a previous relationship and I get on with them very well, the youngest is 17.

I had a contraceptive implant fitted 2 years ago, I had one previously, but told him I didn't want it for the full 3 years, he seemed to understand that and agreed with me.

For me, the time has come to have it removed but he looked terrified when I told him and now he says he doesn't want children. I'm heartbroken.

I really don't know what to do, we've talked, shouted at each other and not spoken for a while. He says we can't afford a child, hes too old, he likes the way things are and I was being selfish. For me, I'm torn, yes I love him but now I can't look at him and feel so angry. When he does something for his children he'll say what a good dad he is, yes he is, but it makes me angry he doesn't want to give me the opportunity to be a good mother.

Any advice would be great.

Jesus fucking Christ

Sweetheart he is a grade a arsehole. He did this deliberately.

Stay strong - you deserve so much better xx

Meudail .... am very sorry he's proving to be even more cruel with his confession he 'decided' (unilaterally) against more children some time ago. I had a nasty feeling that'd be the case.

Quite why he needed to accuse you of having an affair is anyone's guess .... he was probably trying to deflect your attention from the real matter in hand - that of his cruel deception (regarding his intentions) and selfishness. It's appalling that he's gambled with your opportunity to have a child given your age and the considerations you literally couldn't afford to ignore. How horribly cruel he's been, all to get what HE wants.

It's scant consolation and I don't doubt how devastated, angry, shocked and disappointed you must feel ATM, but thank goodness you didn't have a child with him. Someone so selfish, prepared to lie to get what they want (about something so vital) and who then adds insult to injury by throwing spiteful accusations at their partner when they feel pretty much at rock bottom (because of their selfish behaviour) would NOT make a good dad - you wouldn't be able to trust him or depend on him.

I really hope you can move on as soon as possible and start giving serious consideration to what you want to do next re: having a child. And that the process isn't too painful and he doesn't give you any more grief.

I'm not surprised you are very angry - he has behaved appallingly and treated you with contempt and disregard.

His actions have been all about manipulating you to do what he wants - his current actions are true to form and all about continued rewriting, deflection and manipulation.