HOBBIT'S BAR - still finding it hard to move on ...part 8

[Izzie595]

Nobody understands the fully devastating impact of the ending of a marriage unless and until they experience it themselves

Welcome to Hobbit's Bar. Thread number 8.

The previous thread has been filled in less than a fortnight. Therefore, I've included below the post I did for Thread number 7. Links to all the threads in this series are below.
...........................................................................................................

This is the place where we meet to let it all out, to share experiences, to get support, and maybe give support if and when we feel able. And also to sometimes have a good laugh about things, because Hell, we've earned the right to laugh!

The bar is owned by Hobbit. She is adorable, kind, and bonkers. And lazy. So we take turns in running the bar for her ladyship.

I'm the latest proprietor of the bar. Izzie Age 54. Married 30 years. Two young adult sons living with me. Husband left to live with OW on Halloween last year. Very appropriate! No moves towards divorce or financial settlement at present. I started posting my own stuff on MN at the start of the year. Best thing I ever did. Well, I've had better successes in life, but you get my point, yes? I've been through the whole range of emotions, backwards, forwards, round and round: It's not a linear process by any means. And it does seem common to have a huge crash at 4 to 6 months in. Today I'm meh. Mostly.

There are a range of experiences in the Bar, generally at any one time. Examples: the early stages of separation; negotiating; legal matters; abuse in all forms; feeling stronger; having a major crash again; dealing with fuckwittery from the exes; financial worries; issues involving both young and adult children; moving towards the Mecca that is "meh". Basically, the whole works. Believe me, whatever you are currently experiencing, you are not alone.

My advice to any newbies: just jump in, but if you have the time and inclination, try reading all of the threads. You will see real women experiencing their bleakest moments, their progress, their dips, their innermost thoughts.

Rules of The Bar

1. Don't ask to join just come in
2. The phrase Party Pooper is banned. We may be having a good old giggle sometimes but someone in need must interrupt whatever is going on. We can't all be in sync, but someone in need ALWAYS takes priority
3. You are not obliged to give advice, reply to any posts, there are no expectations of you. Take what you want from the thread.

And just to ease you in, here are a few things you may wish to know:

1. An Izzietini is the bar drink.
2. A number 6 refers to rule number 6 in Hobbit's Twunts list. Reasons why they do things. Because they are....... Erm, no, the answer is not "misguided"
3. Mother, WellWhoKnew or WWK. Recently divorced, previous proprietor of the Bar and a legend of MN to those who followed her own threads. Also a legend on here for her straightforward advice. And keeps us in order.
4. Some of the posters also have their own threads. I hope they will do a link for you
5. There's a bad case of exclamationitis on here. Occurs when trying to put in a comma on ipad, but it auto corrects to an exclamation mark. So if you post and get a dodgy comment back, eg "Have you thought about counselling! sounds like you need help!".....please believe us that we are not sarky cows. Because the rule of exclamationitis is that we only spot it after we have posted!
6. Our sayings are "Shit, this is hard" and "KOKO", keep on keeping on
7. Our theme tune, to keep us going, is below

At the beginning of this year Fontella posted this on the first thread:

"Can I just say as more of a reader rather than a participant on this thread (I got shot of my lying, conniving, controlling ex 10 years ago) that this is fast turning into my favourite thread. Lots of powerful, courageous and funny (in a good way) women all coming together and supporting each other through an incredibly painful time. You are all fabulous!"

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

all of us PM bobs now, give her a jolt

Shit...just up....off to sort new thread...

STOP POSTING!!!!!!!!

hobbitsaloon very good
I don't think I should be in charge of education at the commune - took me a while to get it.....

Loving the Jessage

We got to have a goodby thread song.

Fuck off you twunts. But leave your credit cards behind

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqwborlxOwo

Izzie I like Blackadder. How do you remember all these clips though...

WWK lovely about your feral cat. I have a friend yes I do have one who had a feral cat that adopted them and after only appearing for food and then sodding off it eventually ended up sleeping on their bed!

Bobs I thought I was lazy today... Sorry for posting! I'm going to do some gardening for a bit so I won't post for a bit until I come back in to watch the Monaco Grands Prix. I like the Grands Prix and Jenson Button

As outgoing proprietor, may I say thanks to bobs for the new thread

Oh, still not there

Phew - you can keep posting now! Sorted, up and running-ish here Perhaps a bit of stupidity on here first to use it up???

Good grief, that was a wake-up call - off to get my 2nd cup of coffee...and breathe

iwas another lightbulb moment. See number 1 of this clip. I remember seeing that on TV

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mO3xMvLoQzs

Goodbye Fred thread

Is the GP on this weekend...? I shall go watch it on my banned television (yes, another of his decrees...)

Good to see you're up Bobs.

Thanks you too Izzie for marvellous proprietorship.

WWK thank you and I will take that word anyway. And it's good to see us going out on a high

izzie you've done a great job

Thanks bobs sorry we gave you a shock. I too must do something. See you all later.
Ps Rain stopped and so he's giving the mowing a go.....I'm beginning to think I've been married to a bonafide nutter all these years.

Shit shit shit got to go out for a short time. I wanted to count down my proprietorship

Someone say nice things about me. Oh go on, you can lie

Killing myself giggling at all the threads this morning. DD2 sitting about 3 ft from me and really can't explain stuff like "does Tesco sell uzis" to her

Loving the supermarket lists. Vouchers - great idea, esp if you have DC who need to buy pressies for friends, or can be used to buy stuff for DC for birthdays. Cash-back only works of course if it's a current acc. Use any points on loyalty cards before you have to share them!

Toast if your dog/cat/guinea pig is young, the booster shot thing sounds good. Also stock up on worming tablets.

iwas love the name change (good twirl with no staggering and falling over despite the "hungover"!!!)

Hobbit as expected Love the Hobbiteers version of the meadow!

Another tip, car maintenance. If there's something coming up like tyres will need changing in the foreseeable future, get them done early. They can be pricey

Tyres - yes. Four new ones whether or not they're needed.....

Any appliances on their last legs....help them on their way to the recycling centre. The twunt has a permit if you need help

bobs I shall leave it to you to do a link to the new thread in the last few posts

iwasabitburnedyestwrdayandveeerveerdrunk

Thanks for the pic

Unfortunately we had no joint account I actually went through a period where I had to go to him on a monthly basis, cap, receipts and spreadsheet in hand in hand to ask him to contribute to the household spending!

Hobbitsaloon - brilliant

Liking the commune idea. don't mind being the gardener as well, as long as there isn't a meadow to mow

Here's the link to the next thread before this one disappears into obscurity. Very well done to Izzie. she has done a brilliant job of running the Bar
part 9

1 can help with the gardening although she's pretty crap at it by all accounts! Well, according to HRT. Could we nick his mower?

before we say hello to the next thread