Affair - Learning to Cope Part 4

[OpheliaRose]

Many you will have read my threads 1 2 3

I found out almost 3 weeks ago that my husband was having an affair with a girl from his work. Not only where they exchanging flirty messages but had also had blow jobs and sex at the office when confronted my Husband told me he had feelings for the OW and would be leaving me for her.

3 weeks on and the pain I feel is still unbearable, he has been spending time with OW and her child, wants to have our Twins EoW and is planning on introducing the Twins sooner rather than later as the OW will be a big part of his and their life. Heart broken doesn't even cover what I am currently feeling and experiencing

I have decided to file for divorce on grounds of adultery but as its currently stands will not be naming the OW. This is not an easy choice for me to make however I do not think it will make me feel any better because apart from the courts, me Husband and OW no one will know. They appear to feel no shame at their actions anyway so what good would it do.

I want to thank all you wonderful ladies for your continued support at this very hard time for me.

Now could be a good time to state that you want regular contact times in place so you too can 'move on'

Well said.

God I hate him on your behalf as you're too nice to do so.
If 9am doesn't suit you don't! If it does, do!

Well I won't be buying a new hat for his wedding as it will be a waste of money if she has any sense. Miss popular who everyone adores lands someone else's husband. Very classy.

Is he saying he will contest the adultery? It does have to be intercourse, so do you have proof? Usually the only proof these days is if the other woman is pregnant.
I've followed you from the beginning so know you have pictures but is there solid proof of intercourse? To oppose it will increase costs but I'm not sure which one of you would pay them and what stage you're at. Your Sol will advise as the costs should be H's if correct boxes are ticked on petition.
You can use "Inappropriate behaviour with another woman" as part of Unreasonable Behaviour as an alternative.
Thing is, no one but you, him and her will ever read it. A divorce petition is never flourished in front of friends or family.

Phee make sure you drink loads, water, tea whatever. When I suffered a loss and cried nonstop, I had forgotten to drink. I passed the bathroom mirror one day and wondered who the Hell that person was? I felt very unwell and that is dehydration and can be serious. Makes you feel very depressed on top of everything else. Food isn't a problem short term, but liquids are.

Glad the good women here are mothering you, and you're getting more sleep.

Do you know what? The only communication I'd have with him would be about the children. Divorce matters can go through your solicitors. Fuck him and what he wants.

"I'm not happy about it all all really but that more relates to the fact i never planned on having a mummy's house and a daddy's house sad"

Breaks my heart reading that.

If you're within 20 miles plus of Lincoln, I'll help you out anytime.

YY to Vivacia - why even show him even an ounce of the grace and dignity you have? SHL to deal with anything regarding your divorce, the man child.

Wee Thanks for your wise words

Viv thank you

Ledkr wow that is so heartless .. I expect H would say something similar to me. We've yet to have a proper face to face or at least voice to voice conversation since the first few days. But he's adapted so well (obviously) that I expect he thinks why is she so upset

I don;t want this to drag out but its so upsetting how easy he seems to be with the idea that he's happy for me to divorce on grounds of adultery and just wants it out the way. This whole time the one thing i fail to understand is how he hasn't once shown remorse, sadness or loss at our marriage and relationship.

I don't think you will ever get answers from him Phee, but I do know that one day it won't matter to you

I've started a new thread here

he's really excited to show them their new home on Thursday.

Actually what the actual fuck is wrong with this man?

His toddler children are about to learn that their father no longer lives with them and has a separate house, and he is excited?!

I think it might be worth pointing out to this selfish prick and shite excuse for a father that his children are actual people, and that the breakdown of their family is not in their best interests and that this all needs to be handled with sensitivity.

Something like "Perhaps you could rein in your "excitement" about breaking up your children's family and remember that there are two small, confused people who don't understand what is going on. You need to be a father now and recognise how they are feeling about all of this."