DRY 7!!!

[mollyonthemove]

The new thread for the alcohol free and the wanna be free . come and join us

Yes, dh watching me like a hawk. I'll be back to work tomorrow (all being well) and that will be a telling time. I still find it extraordinary that I mostly managed to hide it from dh as well as I did. He was truly stunned.

One question re. medical detox - if you go and see your GP does that not run the risk of them getting social services involved with regard to your child? I live in fear that they would send dd back to live with her dad if they think I am incapable. She's 13 now so would she be able to decide for herself where she lives?

As for drink choices ... well at the moment it's a case of drinking whatever doesn't make my stomach hurt. Red wine, good white wine etc. give me awful stomach cramps as soon as I start drinking them. I've probably got a bad case of gastritis ongoing. The horrible sweet stuff doesn't. So yes, I bought them specially. I wouldn't have a drinks cupboard with anything left in it to be honest - if it's there I drink it. No self control.

Social services weren't informed in my case, my kids were about 12 & 15 when I told my GP. THey will be told if your GP thinks there is a risk to them but you have a sober dh which will go in your favour, maybe play down any daytime drinking when your child is around? They certainly won't be taking your child away if you're working towards sobriety with medical help whereas if a neighbour reports you for being drunk in charge of a minor that's a whole different story, and that could easily happen. In my area there is a self referral service for alcohol and addiction which might be a first port of call for you if there's something similar in your area, it's NHS run. I had to give them permission to tell my GP that I had been. If you like you could PM me your location (as vague as you like) and I'll look into it? I work within the NHS so can get info.

The stomach thing sounds worrying

Badwool, that sounds so horribly familiar. I had so many huge rows with my lovely dh - a fantastic excuse to get completely blotto and pass out all over the place. So pleased that your dh is with you and that you can stop hiding it. It's the hardest thing. I highly doubt ss would consider taking the children away. The tie for that (if ever) would have been when you were in a state. Now you are ready to sort it out there is no reason to surely? Medical help is the way to go I reckon too. Whatever you do, you have done absolutely the right thing facing it and being ready to stop. x

Badwool tsonlyme is right that telling your GP is not a reason to inform SS if you have children. If there was an incident involving you drinking and her being there and it was witnessed then someone could make a referral. Even if a referral was made, as long as you are working with them to get it sorted this would be viewed favourably. The last thing they want to do is remove children and it is a lengthy process (like tsonlyme I work in the sector so have been professionally involved in this kind of thing). You made a comment too about lack of self-control - this isn't true. You are physically addicted to alcohol and need help to stop drinking safely. Do you have any gaviscon type stuff to help with gastritis? You should really get that checked by GP too. Can you get this sorted before going back to work?

My stomach is in a state because I barely ate over the last week but I drank loads every day. I think I ate a packet of crisps one day and maybe a slice of cheese on another. When I made something for DD, which she ate on her own in her room, banished to the company of her laptop, I might have had a bite of something.

My plan, with DH, during this phase is to find things I can tolerate. He got me a lot of things to try and one really big hit is that V8 juice, it's tomato and other vegetables. I'm also trying to drink smoothies. I always drink a lot of water so that's never been a problem.

I'm going to have one last try at kicking this, now with DH's help, and we've both agreed that if I go back on any of the stages we've set in place, I will go and get medical help.

Oh Badwool Multi-vits? Vit B complex? V8 juice will help. As to your plan - fair enough and let us know how you go, yes? :)

Yes, I've been taking the B complex for a couple of weeks now. I can't tolerate the multi-vits, maybe it's the iron in them but they made me so nauseous :(

OK Vit B complex is the most important so all good :)

How are you feeling? OH has gone out to buy beers. Feeling wobbly and a bit resentful. Know if i joined him I'd be so pissed off with myself tomorrow.

How is everyone?

Hello again all. How are you getting on Badwool? Everyone else? Did you do good the other night glittery?

All cool here. Had a 'argghhh I really wanna glass of wine and a cig' cravings yesterday as the dc were driving me barmy with tantrums and tears but it was fleeting. We got over it and all was well once I got the little blighters to bed Going to town on the treats for myself recently and been spending more than I should do on clothes on a mission to start looking a bit more 'put together' and less like a scruff. Always feel a bit guilty spending money on clothes for myself as there's a constant need for dcs clothes they grow that quick.

Can't run as my foot is giving me a lot of bother and hurting that band thingy on the other side from walking funny. Miss it but kinda glad I haven't put all my eggs into the 'exercise basket' this time. I think I went wrong there last year, exercising 4/5times a week and when I injured myself I hadn't a clue what to do and relapsed.

Think that's about it and I'm a matter of days off six months!! Very happy about that. Happier still that this time it's actually where I want to be and not chasing the can I have just one, do it this once feelings.

Oosh sorry for the blether and hope everyone is doing well :)

:)

Badwool how are things ?
glittery well done on not having the beer :)
Last well done on the not giving in to the fleeting craving for wine and ciggies :)

I am still Dry :) Been ridiculously busy and (like Last ) have been using the money I have saved not drinking on some sober treats - new patio set to sit on rather than tatty old one - which has now gone into the barn to use as a place to have coffee and pot on plants :) Also colouring in books and pens and yarn for crochet :) Have also been meditating and have re started Yoga again :)

Like last also, I think I am in a better place to continue sober now than I was after my last prolonged period of dryness. I am clearer in my own mind as to what sets me off, have coping mechanisms for when I crave a drink and am now also a lot more forgiving and kind to myself than I was. So that's all good, then :)

And thank you, all of you here, for your support and advice and encouragement - it really helps !

Hello people

Urgh, having a wobble. Mega stressful day, work, kids, money, arseholes on the road and a complicated situation with my youngest that involves a case which hasn't gone to court yet. Dd isn't involved the court case but the person she has gone to see is and for some reason it's upsetting me that she's there even though she's perfectly safe. I think I just want to wrap her up in cotton wool because she really doesn't have the street smarts that her big sister has. Anyway, the stress has led my head into a dodgy spiral, thanks god for the pills so even though I want to I can't drink!

How's everyone else getting on?

hang on in there tsonlyme

Morning everyone. Day 11 here. Have a family barbecue today. Will be lots of drink. I obviously have a reputation for drinking heavily and am worried about how the hell I dodge the inevitable offers of wine, beers, ciders and also how I make a plausible excuse to abstain without confessing my problem. I imagine some people will guess (they've all seen me smashed several times over the years) but I'm currently too fragile and anxious to put it out there that I've stopped for good. I can't handle questions about it and today I just want to be a wallflower, fade into the group and keep myself focussed inside.

I'd opt out of going if I could but DP (it's his family) will make my life miserable if I don't. Things are pretty bad between us at the moment, even contemplating leaving him but really that's a whole new topic, not for today though.
Good excuses for abstaining subtly? Done the antibiotic thing last time I was on the wagon.

Maybe you could just say you're not feeling too good? (just realised I'm bit late to this!!) people do get peculiar if you don't drink don't they? I hope it went well xx

Abstaining subtly.... what have I done... 'Dry July'. 'Dry January' etc.... Done antibiotics..... Lent carried on an awful long time last year..... Done the 'designated driver'. A trick I do is have soda water in a cocktail glass with a swizzle stick in it. Becks blu with my hand around the label. DH does the 'had too much last night so taking a rest'. (He means it though!).

Personally one of the most empowering things I ever discovered was that it is okay to turn down an invitation - although clearly not practical in the situation you are in today. I hope it is going okay.

Hi Glittery I know how hard this seems when you're in it because you feel as though by not drinking you may as well stick a fluorescent sign on your head, but there are plenty of vague - and perfectly acceptable - reasons to not be drinking. When I was in early pg I would say I was on a health kick. In early AF I would say things like "I felt like having a break from it" or go further and say vague but firm things like "it started to feel like the cons outweighed the pros so I'm giving it a rest - and I feel great!" (Before anyone can get in some annoying comment about how shit that must be for you )

Best of luck. Bloody well done for Day 11.

Day 28 here. Because of the weather I've had a couple of slight twinges about a cold glass of wine but only v slight and have found it easy to imagine what would happen if I bought and opened a bottle. I am so enjoying sleeping well and waking up properly refreshed. Also it seems so shallow but it's so nice looking at my face in the mornings and not having to slap on tons of make up to look half decent. My skin was properly wrecked before.

I had a couple of questions - someone mentioned an online counter to keep track of AF days - can I have a link to that.

Am taking b complex vits and milk thistle - should I be taking the latter for a while or is a month or so enough to feel the benefits? I've been freaking myself out with reading about liver damage and how impossible it is to identify until it's really bad.

mine is an app called Clean counter'. Not sure how to link it! there are a few you can download i think

Funny as all my mates guessed the second I refused a drink at a party that I was pregnant, despite excuses. Probably goes to show how unusual it was for me to abstain. Seems to be easier now giving the health kick excuse, everyone is getting older and accepts it more readily. Atm I'm giving a stop smoking excuse and telling everyone I know I'll start again if I start drinking. Actually coming round to the idea slowly of being a little more open about it. Maybe Hope the bbq went ok anyway Glittery and 28 days is fab polly, well done!

I have lurked, but need to admit to someone that my drinking is getting a bit out of hand. Not as bad as some, but worrying me. If there is wine in the house, I will drink it. If there is another glass to be had, I'll have it. I drink quicker than everyone else, I watch the bottle if i am sharing it to make sure I get my share. I make excuses to drink, night in on my own, night out, bad day, good day blah blah. I put the bottles into recycling so my husband doesn't see. My skin is crap, I'm over weight, I'm miserable. I'm in a crap marriage which I feel has pushed me deeper into this. I would love to not yearn for that glass every evening. Can I join you ladies? I need some help x

foolishme welcome :) Of course you can join in :) welcome :)

foolishme your drinking sounds very like mine was, I can identify. It's what made me think stopping was the answer actually because I just can't visualise ever being able to drink more slowly without iron-clad, through-gritted-teeth concentration. And that sounds like no fun at all . Welcome to the thread. Do you have a plan?

Glittery how did you get on?

Last I think it helped in my case that I was nearly 40 by the time I gave birth so the concept of a health kick was slightly more likely than had we all been in our twenties.
. I hate that it's so hard to feel comfortable being open about stopping; as though to say you no longer drink is an admission of being an out-of-control lunatic when that is not necessarily the case....

Glittery I was at a family barbecue on Saturday too, are you one of my many cousins?! (Unlikely ). I had a fab time, I honestly think that as you get older (I'm mid 40s) the questions about why you're not drinking just fizzle, not a single person questioned me. I did have to have a quiet word with the host to check which foods had even a drop of alcohol in but she didn't even raise an eyebrow. I would have been perfectly happy to be open about it but she didn't ask and didn't, from what I know, even mention it to anyone else other than her husband who put a couple of sausages on the barbecue that hadn't been doused in the whisky sauce lol. An older relative wanted to take me to show me her new house which was a couple of miles from where the party was but by the time she mentioned it again I must have clocked her filling her glass at least five times in the previous couple of hours so there was no way I was going to get in her car , it was a bit awkward but I didn't want to cause a fuss so just said I was too tired and would come back another day for a visit.

Hi foolishme and welcome. What is your intention with drinking, would you like to stop altogether? I can recommend it

It was so nice on Sunday morning waking feeling good and remembering every single thing I said, it never gets old that one.