DRY 7!!!

[mollyonthemove]

The new thread for the alcohol free and the wanna be free . come and join us

Welcome aintgonna my advice is to be prepared for your trigger time. Do things differently, have some nice non-alcohol drinks in, distract yourself. It's about breaking the association between the time, place and drinking behaviour. Lots of rewards and treats too as I used booze as a reward so need to replace - whatever floats your boat and isn't alcohol! Also need to say if you're drinking more than 15 units a day and have been for a while then you need to watch out for symptoms of physical dependence - shaky hands, feeling really unwell and to not stop drinking suddenly if this is the case as it's potentially life threatening. Lots of us here all doing the same thing and I'm sure some others will be along to chime in :)

I did it. Thanks for your support. Felt crazy, bored and angry when DH got in at 8pm so I went for a run. Hot bath now bed. Have a headache but am drinking water.
Good night. Thanks for being there.

I'm glad that Rain in my Heart touched you. As I said, I've been sober for a while now but the thought does still occasionally cross my mind. I had my first child a year after I got sober so was much closer to my last drink ( she's an adult now) whenever I wobbled I used to imagine myself very deliberately smacking her hard across her face; I saw that as a symbolic version of what my drinking would do to her and my relationship with her.

mrsFring yes it really did touch me.It reminded me of losing my lovely uncle and how there was nothing we could do as a family except offer support.

It really brought home to me that alcoholism needs to be stopped when people are in the early stages- that big glass of wine every night stage-way before it gets to the levels of uncontrollable drinking.

I was desperate for poor people to get to daily meetings but I don't think they were ready to stop drinking. I was also intregued (sp) by the changes in voice and tone when people were drying out. It's something I've noticed before and it's peculiar to addicts. There is a sort of monotone and slightly whiney tone and when people have chronic liver disease there is a sort of flat monotone and indistinct pronounciation of words. Anyone able to shed light in that? Poor teeth? poor muscle tone caused by alcohol?

I am just profoundly grateful that I am working on my sobriety,even though I have a long way to go.

I've seen that too. I remember a few people in meetings who would ramble in that monotonous tone; one poor chap had been diagnosed with 'wet brain', a condition triggered by very heavy drinking and thiamine deficiency. Horrible to see.

guggenheim abso-bloody-lutely to this: alcoholism needs to be stopped when people are in the early stages- that big glass of wine every night stage-way before it gets to the levels of uncontrollable drinking This is CRITICAL and I'm trying to do something about it! MrsFring and gugg never noticed the voice and speech issues. Alcohol destroys cognitive function so it could be that - as you say 'wet brain' is awful

Hiya - I've been lurking on this thread for a while. Can I join? Today is day 7 of being sober for me. My recent drinking was way out of control for me. I was drinking 3/4 bottle of wine most days. If I went out socially, I was drinking at least a bottle, usually more. I'm easily pressured and have a couple of people close to me that love a drink. I'm worried about what they will say to me when I tell them I'm not having one. I've got myself in a situation where it is almost an unspoken rule that we will drink lots when we see each other. I just don't want to do that anymore.

I feel really protective of my sobriety, like if I tell anyone about it, it might break and I will lose it. Is this normal? I told my husband I want to be sober yesterday, and because he drinks a fair amount, I felt he minimised my concern. It was almost like he didn't believe me when I said I thought I had a problem. As a result I feel quite lonely with this decision I have made. I feel like it might isolate me. I am determined it is for the best though. I have two small children and a tendency towards depression. Drinking makes me the worst version of myself and I need to be better than that.

It's really nice to read all the support that you give each other on here, and I'm wondering if I can be a part of that?

Hello! Welcome Vinny and aint.

I agree with lucy about doing something different at your trigger times, aint. Last year when I first started really being serious about my sobriety I used to pack a picnic dinner and take DS to the beach or park, or somewhere where I had to drive. My trigger time was walking through the door after the school run. It just shakes you out of your habit. We would be home by 6, then time for bath, story and bed. Really helped me.

Vinny so good to have you here with us too. I am really interested in the link with depression.... I have always suffered depression and drinking makes it worse. There seems to be a link between women and self-medicating for depression with alcohol.The book linked below is quite interesting.

www.amazon.co.uk/Eating-Drinking-Overthinking-Destructive-Relationship/dp/0749926708/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1433152748&sr=8-1&keywords=eating+drinking+overthinking

I am fine today. I am annoyed I allowed myself to have the cava at the party, it has set me back emotionally. I have told DH thatI am going to address the issue of the rude friend who upset me so much. He has a history of being rude though...... and I have sucked it up for years. DH asked me to address it sensitively though, although why I should bother considering his feelings is beyond me.

Also joining if that's OK....?

I need to stop. I can't really get my head around stopping 'forever' so have set myself a goal of a month....

I'm going to order that book Cornchips - just had a look on Amazon and I'm sure I need to read it

I have small children and have been drinking daily for the last few months. It makes me anxious, it makes me sleep badly, it makes me fat... I know all this yet around 6pm each evening I still reach for a bottle of beer / glass of wine. It doesn't help that my husband does the same! I'm going to take up your suggestion of taking the kids to the beach at that time tonight!

Dipping my head in quickly but will be back proper later. Welcome Vinny and crossroads Vinny if depression is a concern let me point you in the direction of the excellent blog of a friend of mine called The Depression Lab. We stopped drinking around the same time and here is where she offers great advice :) Congrats on 7 days! You are not alone there are LOADS of us! :)

Thanks Lucy!

Day 2: Working on the associations and triggers. Bad habit of popping into the shop for booze as a treat/reward on the way home from work. So today told myself to go home first, wait 15 minutes (a tip I saw on one of these threads) and then see if I really want to go out for some alcohol.

I'm now home and already in my pajamas. Won't be going anywhere tonight!. It helps that it's miserable and raining. Sunny days are big triggers for me.

for yesterday mistress and nomore. Hope all is going well today too.

Oh lots of new people - hello, hello, hello!

And why should you address it sensitively Corn? I would be absolutely raging. You did well to keep your cool at the time.

I got changed early into my pjs very frequently at the start aint. Works as in your head that's you in for the night. Sunny days are also a big trigger for me although we don't see many of them here

evening all
hello all newcomers
sunny days are also a big trigger for me - currently lying in bed listening to pouring rain and howling wind so no worries on that score this evening! And yes to getting into PJs early and lots of V early nights for me too!

vinny "drinking makes me the worst version of myself and I need to be better than that" your statement really resonated with me, I can really relate to that. I think I may use that to repeat to myself when tempted.

I have had a good day today. youngest 3 dc are still off school on holiday so we went out for the day to nearby adventure playground/mini theme park. It was good to be clear headed and hangover free to cope with a full day out (although am exhausted as I was on call Saturday night, then just couldn't sleep last night...)
I have decided I am going to try to plan days out better/more often with them...I also seem to have agreed to take dd3 and 4 camping overnight on my own...not sure how that will pan out!

I'm now tucked up in bed, mning for a bit, then reading then hopefully a good night's sleep.

hope evevryone else is doing good.

Howling wind and ran here too right now!

Just heard the news about Charles Kennedy. I feel desperately sad. People across the political spectrum just say he was a really nice guy, but he was apparently struggling again with the bloody stupid useless poison that is alcohol.

RIP

morning all

corn yes, sad news about Charles Kennedy

I am ridiculously tired again today - think I am still recovering form my blip last week, as I had started feeling less tired before that....

Weather not looking the best here, but sun promised later
Plan to do some tidying/washing etc this morning then park with youngest 3 later.
all back to school/work tomorrow so need to try and get myself in gear and sort stuff out....

How is everyone this morning?

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome and the suggestions and links - I'll take a look at them. Crossroads15 - the idea of stopping forever feels a bit big for me too. I keep just looking at it in terms of what I can achieve today. I've started to take that approach with lots of aspects of my life. It's too big otherwise.

I've suffered from mental health problems all my life really (bad childhood) and have self-medicated throughout. Then I was put on antidepressants last summer. I was advised not to drink, and I didn't, for 8 weeks. Then I started again. I think I drank the most I have ever drank whilst on that medication. I feel terrible about that. I have slowly weaned myself off the pills, and now the alcohol. I need a clear head.

I have booked myself onto a yoga class, which takes place at a time of night when I would be well into a bottle of wine. It should be a helpful distraction!

Really sad news about Charles Kennedy. He seemed like such a good bloke.

Just read the news about Charles Kennedy. So sad and can't find the words to express how bloody tragic this is F**king booze
Vinny I don't think about forever - seems an awfully long time and I don't know what's around the corner. We only have today so that's where I focus.

Yes it is sad when someone is cut down probably many years before they should have been.

God, I don't look at forever either, the thought of that is too overwhelming. Sort out today and worry about tomorrow when it happens.

Nice one bobbly. My two have also been yammering on about me taking them camping this year since we aren't going abroad. Love it myself but not sure how fun I'd find it just me with the two of them pulling me in different directions. A supermarket shop with them both leaves me exhausted!

I believe I have self-medicated with alcohol too Vinny. Recently the past couple of years to deal with anxiety. Amazing now a few months on seeing how much booze was in actual fact fuelling it a lot, leaving me stuck in a vicious circle.

Gp appointment was today as I've been experiencing a lump type feeling in my throat for months now. Very aware it could be psychosomatic or a simple reflux symptom (fingers crossed) but also conscious of how bad chucking a load of booze and smoking like a train has been on top of a hiatial hernia and reflux. Some blood tests and a referral to ENT. Trying not to panic about it and will have to find some ways to deal with the anxiety as normally the first thing I would do is (stupidly even though I know it's the worst thing to do) drink. I hate the waiting for things.

On that note, off for a run. Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their day.

Fingers crossed for you gleaming. At least you have gone to the doctor to get checked and not just poured a load of booze down your neck hoping it would go away.

Day 6 for me (and DP) today and I am feeling really chuffed. Still stupidly tired, and I have developed a rather attractive spotty chin, but feeling good. DP has some skin problems and they are improving so much already.

I have got another driving lesson tomorrow, after having to cancel my test yet again due to just not feeling ready or confident. I have rescheduled for the start of July and am determined that booze-free me will do it. I must have had so many lessons over the limit. No wonder it has taken me so long.

Hope everyone is fine.

Interesting you said that, Vinny, about drinking whilst on antidepressants because I had my worst drinking phase whilst on them, in the six months leading up to becoming pregnant. I've never gone back to the lows of that time.

I have nothing much to report. After my horrible blip last week I've been more sensible but still not really getting anywhere. I am working to break patterns - trying to drink later and later in the day. If I could stop daytime drinking altogether that would make a massive difference as I drink very little after dinner in the evening.

I bought a multi-B complex vitamin supplement and have started taking it after googling 'wet brain' that people mentioned on here. Sounds absolutely horrendous.

Next week was meant to be my stopping week but I'm nowhere near ready.

Last Hope you are okay.

Thanks for the reminder about multi-vitamins Bad I have run out and need to get some more.

Could ask for some quick advice
My friend who I spoke about is home , still not drinking but I guess with drawing I've read about milk whistle helping which she has but what about vitamins , she still being sick and I want to help .

I am in no way an expert, but she definitely needs multi-vitamins. How long has she been off alcohol? Does she have the shakes? If she is being ill or having shakes I would think she needs medical supervision and advice.

Hi. I decided to do the 'Dry for January' thing and have just continued from there. I haven't touched a drop since 31st Dec '14 and it's been great.

I used to drink about half a bottle of wine every evening. I think lots of people do this and maybe that's okay for them but I don't think that the way I thought about alcohol was very healthy. For instance, I used to find it difficult to go a day without drinking. I'd feel a bit anxious if we didn't have wine in the house. If we opened a bottle of wine I'd always have several glasses. My husband can drink just one glass and then leave it. I'd often top up my glass if he left the room so he wouldn't know I was having more than one.

TeapotDictator - at the start of this thread when I read your description of the kind of drinker you were I thought, "That's me!".

Anyway, now I've broken the habit of drinking every evening I've actually got to the point where I don't think about it any more.

The only difficulty is when out with other people. It's not that I find it hard not to drink but more that they just can't comprehend that I'm choosing not to. I've told people that I did 'Dry January' and then decided to have a dry year. Actually, I'm hoping this will be dry forever.

Last week we went to our next door neighbour's party and there was loads of alcohol there. They actually had a wheelbarrow full of bottles of champagne. The weather was great, there were loads of people I knew and loud music etc. Normally I'd have loved this, particularly as it was just next door so neither of us would have to drive. Anyway, I felt fine about it but someone insisted on pouring me a glass of champagne. He pretended I was just to hold the glass while he filled it for someone else and then he wouldn't take the glass from me. Bit odd but then he was drunk. I got through the evening without feeling tempted but it was difficult to enjoy the occasion as much as I normally would have done. I think it's because drunk people are actually quite boring when you're sober!

I wish I could do the same with chocolate. I just can't seem to give this up at all. I lost 8lb almost instantly when I stopped drinking. I think I'd lose another 8lb if I could give up the chocolate too.

Keep going everyone!

Corn

Off for a couple days now , vomiting got the shakes , I been there with her making sure she at least drinks water n some / dyorylite , I don't know that much about it but I'm there for support