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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Arguing again

449 replies

Freeflying · 12/02/2015 19:40

I posted a couple of nights ago because I was feeling anxious after my partner had been angry with me. It has escalated from there and I don't even know what to do now, I am feeling scared and tired and it was just too much this time. It's like history repeating itself I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years before this one and i don't think I can do this.
I don't know what to do. I don't even know why I'm posting this, but I feel so scared and alone

OP posts:
Original poster
Freeflying · 12/02/2015 19:51

Is anyone around to hand hold. Sorry I'm pathetic

OP posts:
Original poster
Freeflying · 12/02/2015 20:29

I guess no one is,

OP posts:
Brookville · 12/02/2015 20:33

No, you're not alone there...Sorry to hear how you are feeling so anxious and stressed... I just wanted to respond to you for moral support. Forgive me if this is not the kind of thing that you'd find useful but would you consider phoning Women's Aid? Or is he in the home now?

LineRunner · 12/02/2015 20:34

Yes, I am around. People are here for you.

Are you safe? Are there children with you?

AmyElliotDunne · 12/02/2015 20:36

I'm here, can you give some more details or a link to your other thread?

I've been in an EA relationship before and currently with someone who can be quite domineering. It's difficult to trust anyone again after being damaged by someone you love.

Please open up a bit so that people can try to help you xx

CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/02/2015 20:44

Are you in immediate danger? Are you frightened right now?

Original poster
Freeflying · 12/02/2015 23:09

Sorry he came back in the house but He's gone again now.
Thank u all for replying to my thread. I feel less lonely.

OP posts:
Original poster
Freeflying · 12/02/2015 23:21

He hit me only once but I don't want him to come back. My baby daughter is sleeping

OP posts:
Original poster
Freeflying · 12/02/2015 23:30

Please can someone handhold again

OP posts:
engeika · 13/02/2015 00:12

Just about to go to bed but I do know what this is like. And you are not alone.

Good luck with it OP.

Original poster
Freeflying · 13/02/2015 00:16

Thank you engeika

OP posts:
FriedSprout · 13/02/2015 00:21

Not an expert on these threads, but keep your mobile on you and if you feel he may get violent don't hesitate to call the police.

Original poster
Freeflying · 13/02/2015 09:23

Thank you fried
He hasn't come back

OP posts:
Charley50 · 13/02/2015 09:57

Hello. It's not arguing he's abusing you if you are scared in your home which should be a safe place. He has hit you. My ex hit me once. I called the police and they put him in a cell for the night and I never lived with him again. He sees his DS all the time; not overnight when it first happened as DS was only 5 months old then. It's not worth feeling fear in your life so get rid. If he won't go call police and get him out. Then you don't need to feel scared in your own home anymore. I hate men like this.

Charley50 · 13/02/2015 10:01

Sorry didn't mean to sound bossy but once you get the police involved you immediately start to feel safer. Even threats of violence are classed as abuse. Flowers for you.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 13/02/2015 10:07

You have a baby in the house and your partner hit you last night?

As suggested above contact Women's Aid,

tel freephone 0808 2000 247
or you can email on
[email protected]
although with email they can only promise an answer within three days and it's a limited resource - better to phone.

The female staff on the helpline give support and information. You might not get through straight away but please try. They can talk things through with you and will give you as much time as you need.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 13/02/2015 10:09

And please consider phoning the police and ask to be put through to the domestic violence unit.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/02/2015 10:20

Glad you're OK. However, if you've been assaulted you need to contact the police immediately. I'm sorry you've been in an abusive relationship in the past. If you're in another one it doesn't mean it's your fault. You and any DCs need protection and police involvement will make it easier to stop him coming back

Original poster
Freeflying · 13/02/2015 14:15

I don't know what to do , I don't have the strength for this

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/02/2015 14:25

Do you have the strength to pick up the phone and tell Women's Aid (0808 2000 247) what happened? Or the police DV unit (101)? When you don't feel strong, ask strong people to help you.

Charley50 · 13/02/2015 14:47

Try and find the strength or as cogito says let others be your strength. It's better to get out sooner rather than later. Do you have friends you can call?

Charley50 · 13/02/2015 14:49

As well as police and women's aid. All these guys are the same. They rely on fear and secrecy. Get support and it will be so much easier.

Original poster
Freeflying · 13/02/2015 14:57

I don't know if I can talk out loud. I feel so stupid and tired

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/02/2015 14:59

Your baby daughter needs you to speak up.

Original poster
Freeflying · 13/02/2015 15:01

What do I need to say I don't know anymore

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