Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Arguing again

449 replies

Freeflying · 12/02/2015 19:40

I posted a couple of nights ago because I was feeling anxious after my partner had been angry with me. It has escalated from there and I don't even know what to do now, I am feeling scared and tired and it was just too much this time. It's like history repeating itself I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years before this one and i don't think I can do this.
I don't know what to do. I don't even know why I'm posting this, but I feel so scared and alone

OP posts:
Original poster
Freeflying · 16/02/2015 10:17

He's been arrested now

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 16/02/2015 10:22

That sounds like progress. You can rest easy if he is out of the picture.

Charley50 · 16/02/2015 10:27

Hey Freeflying, you need to keep getting support on here and from police, Women's aid etc. It's worrying that you said you want him back after everything he has done this weekend. That is your fear talking. Please stay safe, get the locks changed and get support. Do you friends family and if not local baby groups? You must get the locks changed. I would prioritize that.. You need to feel that you and dd are safe at home. Has this been arranged?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 16/02/2015 10:59

Good to see he's been arrested, I remember upthread you said the DV officer assigned to you would be back at work today. I realise that you are scared and when your confidence has been systematically eroded by an abuser it's sometimes that "better the devil you know" feeling.

Is your DD still unwell, do you think you can bear to go out today?

ilovelamp82 · 16/02/2015 11:22

That's good news. Are you ok OP?

Original poster
Freeflying · 16/02/2015 11:57

I don't feel ok today. Dd is much better today. I will be ok. Thank you all for your support

OP posts:
tipsytrifle · 16/02/2015 14:00

Good to hear he's been arrested. Please let the law progress to charges and prosecution when the moment comes. You may want the idealised version of this man back but he's gone. Who you have been freed from, by his own actions, is a monster. I know that you know you will, in time, be ok. You're a very brave woman and DD is blessed to have you Flowers

Original poster
Freeflying · 16/02/2015 18:31

He's going to be released on bail in scared

OP posts:
ilovelamp82 · 16/02/2015 21:00

If he's been released on bail, i assume he won't be allowed anywhere near you. Did you change the locks? Don't answer any calls or texts if he tries but keep a log. Is there anyone that can be with you?

Original poster
Freeflying · 16/02/2015 21:13

I haven't done anything, I can barely think. I've been doing just the bare minimum for my daughter. Can't remember the last time I ate. I tried to call my friend but she was busy. I don't really have anyone else. I'm numb now and Im sure he's going to come here angryb

OP posts:
Charley50 · 16/02/2015 21:29

You need to make your home secure for tonight and be prepared to call 999 if he comes near you or if he tries to contact you. He isn't allowed to come near you so hopefully he won't.

tipsytrifle · 16/02/2015 22:00

You will make it ok Free. Keep key in lock twisted sideways so he can't push it out with his own. Jam a chair up under door handle so it is blocked.

I'm sure you must have rice or something in house to eat for easy energy and so you aren't achingly hungry, but you absolutely must have phone on you to call police on 999 if he appears. No access would be appropriate.

Battle stations tonight dear heart Flowers

CluckingBelle · 16/02/2015 22:22

Free when you get up in the morning ring this number 0808 2000 247. This is the Women's Aid helpline and they will help you be safe. You need some real life support right now. They will be able to get you and your baby to a safe place where he doesn't know where you are. They will help you cope. It's a 24 hour number so you can even call them now.

Thinking of you. If you think he is outside call the police straight away.

bluejelly · 17/02/2015 08:36

How are things today Free? Did you manage to sleep last night?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 17/02/2015 08:41

Hope you are OK this morning OP

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 17/02/2015 12:12

You are not alone Free look at the number of posters on here and the sources of help mentioned.

Original poster
Freeflying · 17/02/2015 20:00

Im ok sorry
I no energy

OP posts:
Original poster
Freeflying · 17/02/2015 21:51

Sorry it didn't even make sense

OP posts:
Jackw · 17/02/2015 22:00

That is really not surprising. You have had a really traumatic time and are probably in shock/ post-traumatic stress. Don't feel bad because you haven't managed to do anything, contact anyone yet. The most important things are to keep yourself safe (so check everyone's advice above about how to do that) and to keep looking after your child which it sounds like you are managing to do, respect to you for that.

His bail conditions will probably stipulate that he doesn't come anywhere near you.

Original poster
Freeflying · 17/02/2015 22:12

I really want to cut again

OP posts:
Jackw · 17/02/2015 22:22

Again, I'm not surprised. Is there anything you can distract yourself with? How about reading some of the other threads on Mumsnet? Classics is brilliant, especially the lemon drizzle cake and Bridezilla threads.

Original poster
Freeflying · 17/02/2015 22:25

I tried I can't read properly I feel scared of this feeling it's like im losing it

OP posts:
tipsytrifle · 17/02/2015 22:31

Free do you mean to cut yourself? It would be better if you didn't do that again. When did you last do it? Your DD depends on you. Can you try to focus on just her?

Original poster
Freeflying · 17/02/2015 22:49

Yea I did it today I can't make myself better and I'm just scared. I am going to take Dd to somewhere else tomorrow I think maybe the doctor I can't look after her I have barely managed today and she needs a better mummy

OP posts:
Original poster
Freeflying · 17/02/2015 22:50

I just need to know she is with someone who isn't shit/ that's all. I feel so bad for her, she doesn't deservr this

OP posts: