it might be something to tell your friend Dadwood that if she's worried about making decisions because of 'consequences' thats all!
or, walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting him (someone said ^thread)
in a group of 'friends' one night one starting talking about a band playing locally, and i showed enthusiasm, the FWex made it clear it was a boys thing, I shut up about it, one of the other's partners made it clear she was very interested and would be going, I still shut up about it. I didnt even need to turn around to know the look and pressure that was coming my way.
I am really distressed about the programme, I was too distressed to watch it, and I am even more distressed that a show like that can't stand on its own merits and just be acknowledged as a massive issue, instead of the knee-jerk reaction of men stating 'but what about poor us, we get it too'
Did the show say men don't ? or that animals dont? or that children don't? or that ...... it didn't say everything at all.
It said far from everything relating to DV. I am years out and still struggling to go out with a non-mol against him, for fear of seeing him. Do you know what he says? He says I am abusive, thats its me thats abusive.
Do you know what the police said when I started to report things and had to be interviewed? They checked the records to find out whether he was already reporting me as the abusive one because, and I quote 'THATS WHAT THEY DO'
I have also attended freedom programme and listened to the tactics and the horror of it comes crashing down on me, again and again, that I was in some kind of fog and couldn't see what he was doing, and that yes, in the main it was psychological and emotional, but it all starts that way.
When in the freedom programme each battered woman attending was ask to raise their hand if they had been reported for abuse by their dominator. Do you know how many did? nearly all.
To use Male reporting stats in this way is to not understand at all what a perpetrator is about. A perpetrator is about telling loudly anyone who will listen that you are nasty to them, and that you 'MAKE' them so mad, that they can't control it because you 'wind them up' and it is completely and wholely your fault. They will beat themselves up and report you for abuse.
Nearly all of the women's mental health issues reported pertain to DV. These men hate women, and hate that they need them, they will not leave and the moment they do they are onto the next. They force women through court which is legalised abuse for a woman who cannot cope being in the same building as her perp.
Children, quite rightly, are not blamed for child abuse, it is the responsibility of the adult world to care and protect the children. Women are not to blame, it is the responsibility of every man to step away from other men that do this, and work to clear the world of male abuse. It is gendered, absolutely.
Abuse exists where there is inequality of power. So then, once a woman is 'moved in', married, pregnant (even tho baby might be rejected), all these things are hold's over women and render them tied to the male for various reasons.
physical violence and EA and PA are one and the same, the strength of tactics employed all depends on whats needed to keep you under control, and if its a shove, or breaking something precious of yours, or shouting in your face, or triping you up, or whispering threats... its whatever works and the closer you get to leaving the close the danger gets.
Women cannot physically restrain a violent man, or have any effect on him alone. This makes it a gendered issue.