Fathers sharing bed with daughters.

[GoMe]

What is your opinion on it?

I know that child abuse will happen at any time, on the bed or not, if the father is an abuser, so my question is because men are prone to having wet dreams and erections whilst asleep, so in my opinion, it is not ideal for a girl to sleep with her father at the same bed.

My DD is 7.

You know the man, OP, and we don't. Listen to your gut instincts.

Very different issue though. But do you really think a grown man would use his 8yo dd as an emotional crutch and wouldn't be able to sleep wo her?
I'm pretty sure your dd can make herself heard. And they your DH is using this tactic to make you feel guilty and try and stop the proceedings.
Was he manipulative before?

Ok, if this is for real; you've been co sleeping a long time, have erections/wet dreams been a problem up to now? Do you suspect any abuse? Do you think things will suddenly change to abusive because you're not there? If so why? Do you think your presence would prevent an abuser finding a way to abuse?

You know the man, OP, and we don't. Listen to your gut instincts

???

Why so many reports? What is wrong with the question?

And it is not a attempted to control the time between my daughter and her dad. He is terrible at respecting people's boundaries, I can give you many examples if you are really interested.
It is an attempted to teach my daughter that she has a right to personal private space and shouldn't feel afraid to tell her dad how she feels.

pippin - disgusting, but totally different to the situation the OP is describing. The sharing a bed is not "not good AT ALL" - it is the other things you are talking about which are a massive problem.

Out of interest - you say a "child in your class". Is this when you were a child? Or are you a teacher? If so, I hope you have reported the underwear sniffing...

Just a quick reminder of our talk guidelines and in particular our troll hunting guidelines
thanks awfully

And if you are happy for your dd to sleep in the same bed than her dad with you, why ysnt it the same if you aren't there? Aren't you worried about wet dreams and erections when you are in the bed too or do you think they only happen when you aren't there? Have you seen any in all the years you share the bed with your DH?

At that time she was younger and refused her bed. I always made sure there were pillows between them. She is fine on her bed now and she has told me the only reason she still goes to sleep with him is because he is sad...he asks her to do it. The other night he was hugging her too much on a side, she was almost falling on the floor. This was in the morning when I went in to get my clothes.

Nobody is troll hunting, Olivia.

I don't think it's unreasonable to warn people not to give too much away until something is verified.

It wouldn't be the first time that an OP is not quite what it seems. especially recently

Jesus. Is this for real?

Of course not all men are abusers. The vast majority aren't. But that doesn't mean it is acceptable for a father and daughter to share a bed. I would say the same of a mother and son. I would draw the line about the age of 9.
If behaviour like that is normalised, then it makes it very easy for abusers to abuse. It puts the children in far too vulnerable a position.
I know a lot of people do it but if it was mentioned at school, particularly if there were any behavioural concerns, then I think there would be lots of alarms going off.

If you genuinely have concerns regarding this about a man you presumably chose to have a child with, I think you have huge issues to deal with

I don't have concerns about child abuse I have concerns about emotional blackmail and my daughter's privacy and boundaries not being respected.
Then I read about the erections and wet dreams on American website were divorced parents were discussing this issue and I freaked out.

Is it really normal for men to be ejaculating all over the bed at night?

You don't need to put pillows between a dad and his kid. That's sad.

Then I read about the erections and wet dreams on American website were divorced parents were discussing this issue and I freaked out

How old are you?

Wet dreams?!?!? Teenagers sure. Young adults maybe. Very very rare in adult men.

As an adult, how often have you known this to happen with any man you've been in a relationship with when you've been sharing a bed?

Me, too, gilded. I must have been 11 or 12 when I stopped getting in with Mum and Dad if I'd had a bad dream. Happy days! Both gone now, sadly.

What?

Lets turn this around. If you had a 7 year old son OP and someone dared suggest that you shouldn't have him in with you if need be (e.g if he's poorly, having night terrors, etc), what would your reaction be?

Very different issue though. But do you really think a grown man would use his 8yo dd as an emotional crutch and wouldn't be able to sleep wo her?

Yes, he is immature, have no respect for people's boundaries, etc, and I have SS and Child psychologists already involved with DD because of the awful things he says about me to DD just because he can't accept separation.

How about: " I want to kill myself and it is all your mum's fault. But your are the only one keeping me alive"

This thread is getting weirder and HQ come on to tell us about troll hunting.

Loads of us have reported, which is what we are told by HQ to do.

Then what you really need to do us to exsin to your DF that she NEVER has to say YES just to keep the peace/keep someone happy.
This is an Important lesson that one whether you are talking about her and her dad now, about her and her bf later or in any other situation that isn't sexually or emotionally involved.
Tell her she is allowed to say NO. Maybe teach her what would make her dad step down if he is likely to want his own way anyway.
And most importantly teach her that it's up to her to decide. Nit him, not you. She can no today but yes tomorrow. She can say yes at 7.00pm but no at 8.00pm.
But don't make it an issue that isn't an issue such as the wet dreams and the erection stuff.

Op... Why are you reading American divorce websites?

And what have SS done/said?

Xpost.
Then have a word with your dd psychologist and together find a way to allow her to say no to her dad. And how he is responsible of his own actions and feelings. Not her.
Let her know she can always talk about what he says to her, that you will never get angry (and don't!).
And remind her she is allowed to say 'No daddy I don't want to sleep with you but I still love you'

Btw not respecting your dd privacy and boundaries would be acted flag for me and I would class that as emotional abuse.
Was he like this with you when
You were together?
Is it the reason why you have involved SS?

Why the ??? Waltermittythesequel? I was just assuming the OP is genuine.