why does he act so cruelly :(

[kelell17]

hi ladies I'm new on here but any advice or just nice people to talk to would be greatly appreciated :)
ive been with my boyfriend for a yr or so now and things were very up and down for a long while due to constant stress his ex/mother of his child causes him but the past couple of months I really felt like we had come out the other side a bit and id become of some importance to him for more than just listening for hours to his problems....anyway recently ive been quite ill and in and out of docs/hospital for tests and scans and he hasnt been supportive at all....I do get the occasional sorry ur poorly babe hope u feel better soon but quickly gets very impatient if I get upset or am worrying and gets annoyed with me/tells me to chill out/ ignores calls and messages etc..
I know everyones going to say dump him but I just wondered why he acts like this....dont get me wrong when I'm all happy clappy things are fine between us and we have such a laugh but its like the only emotion I'm allowed to have without annoying him is bouncing off the walls happiness which isnt practical 100% of the time especially when I'm really worried what's wrong with my health....I wish he would just show he cared :( maybe my stress is too much on top of his own n thats y he only wants to talk if I'm chirpy...or listening to him moan....I dont really want to break up with him and have tried to tell him how this makes me feel many times but that just makes him annoyed n I get the obligatory "chill out ffs" or can we not talk about this I dont wanna argue....
any other ideas greatly appreciated as sick of going to bed worrying or upset about this
thanks in advance :)

oh forgot to say I had a really nice text off a very long ago x at the weekend ( I know that should be a nice thing ) but just screws with my head....he hurt me then many years ago, I realise we were both young n stupid.... I'm older now but feel no more capable of making good men decisions! lol x

All the more reason to check out the Freedom Programme. Have you looked it up yet?

Be fair Kel*, you didnt really talk to him did you?! You just listened while he droned on so may I suggest you record a particularly doom laden episode of Eastenders and play it on a loop? It will practically the same but at least you will be able to pause it when you want to!

Is there any chance at all that your long-ago ex, and the most recent one, could be in contact? I may be being overly-suspicious, but the timing (and the niceness) seems... convenient.

Between reading kelell's update and posting, I wandered off somewhere else, and discovered when I posted that I'd x posted with Bogeyface. Who made me laugh. Hope she had the same effect on kelell!

no chance they could have been in contact no. .. They've never met or even been told about each other n live 100s of miles away....the long ago x just txt again.....x

Hmm. So what do you think his motivation is? I got a FB PM recently from a chap I knew 40 years ago (yes, I'm that old! ) but it was just him realising who I was (he's FB friends with my sister, he hadn't been stalking me) and doing a quick catchup, iyswim. We talked about our marriages, children and grandchildren, and haven't been in contact since. If he started messaging regularly, that would be weird.

I went for a drink with him ( not on his own but with other old friends ) when I was back in my home town in the summer....hes messaged occasionally ever since, stuff like he cant stop thinking about me, he was an idiot all those years ago n he should have paid more attention to me etc etc.... all very emotional stuff, I havent replied x

Glad you haven't replied, he sounds like another bampot! Just what you need atm, not.

(Have you had those test results yet, btw? Hope all is good on that front.)

kel, give the old ex a swerve...he is sniffing around like a randy dog

you don't need any extra complications right now

yeah ur right. .. He was the absolute love of my life ( loved him more than my husband ) so really don't wanna drag those feelings up again x

ive had the test results today .... only just after chasing constantly! They were normal :) x

Phew x

That's great news!

Good news on the test results, good news that you're not responding to the ex ex ex.

lol attack of the exes! they r all fuck ups....the texting one prob the only one who has some decency but I shall not fall into the trap lol x

I doubt he's that decent either, kelell, however much he was the "love of your life" at the time. After all these years, he initiates contact with emotionally manipulative crap? Get back together with that bollox and he'll be threatening suicide by June if you don't do xyz.

Seriously, you're better off without it, and I'm glad you're not responding. You really are getting stronger, no matter how down or alone you may feel atm.