If your kids are away tonight, treat it as pamper time for you. Switch off your mobile, disconnect the landline. Have a long soak in a warm bath, relax with a glass of wine or hot chocolate or whatever you enjoy. Snuggle yourself up on the sofa and watch whatever you want (bet he controls the remote when he's there, eh?) or listen to music you like and lose yourself in a good book. The aim is to let today just wash away, just for tonight, just for once be totally self-centred and turn all that care you usually give him on to yourself. You are a good person, and a good mum, and a good worker. You're thoughtful and considerate, take tonight to look after yourself.
And have a wee weep as well, or allow yourself a full on sobbing session, get the grief out. For you are feeling grief, for the man you thought you knew but who doesn't care about you, for the life you hoped you'd have but which is fading away. It's ok to feel sad about that, we all have unfulfilled dreams, and everyone has a touch of the "What ifs" in their lives. Just for tonight, let go of them.
Your worries will still be there in the morning, they don't need to be nursed tonight.
With your health issues, is it that you fear you have a particular condition (you don't need to tell us what that is) or that you have a number of unexplained symptoms?