What is this?

[Sillybillywilly]

If your 'd'p whipped you with a tea towel, threw a glass of water at you and threw and garden chair at you (well not at 'in your direction') would you consider this domestic abuse?

Sounds like a mess.

You need to get out before he loses the job. He'll be angry and he'll be at home more when that happens.

overmydeadbody made a good suggestion upthread about getting stuff out a bit at a time. Could you take some bits to your mums tomorrow?

When are you planning to go for good?

Do you have a car?

Yes I can take some stuff to my mums tomorrow as long as he is at work so he doesn't see me.

I'm not sure what to do in the long run, I would need to rent but as I'm on such a low wage I would have to be on housing benefit and I know it's hard to find a landlord who will except it.

I don't drive and even if I did the car is his, paid for by his uncle so I wouldn't be able to take it.

How about a refuge? They could help you apply for social housing. Or they wll know about local things like rent deposit schemes with LLs who accept HB.

And it would be a safe place where he couldn't harrass you. Some time to get yourself together and feel strong.

Good luck.

I've done it!!!!! IVE LEFT THE BASTARD!!!!!!

Congratulations!! I just read this thread, and started to worry about you... am so glad to read you're out. and Breathe.

Wooohoooo!
Be careful

Thank you! I know I am no where near free of him yet, I'm fully expecting shit loads of abuse from him, but I've made the first step, again, and no going back this time.

Where have you gone, love ?

Wow. Well done.

Are you somewhere safe?

Well done!!!

Be careful and stay safe.

Don't engage with him. Don't let him drag you into debate or conversation.

Congratulations

Yes I'm at my parents.

The last straw was because I went to the epilepsy nurse and decided to stay on the same dosage of tablets, not lower my dose, and he kicked off then started telling me I live in his house rent free, even though I bought all the food and any clothes, shoes or anything else we all needed. I lost it, maybe shouldn't have done but I couldn't help it, I called my mum and she came straight round (only lives 5 mins away) when she got there he turned on the charm, apologised to my mum! Where's my apology?? I went down stairs with my bags and he was changing dd's nappy! I can't remember the last time he did that! I lost is again, maybe I shouldn't have done, but it did feel good!

What fucking business is it of his what your medication dosage is ? That is between you and your care provider.

This bloke is a fucking tool and a no-mark and you are waaaaay better off without him.

Tell your parents everything

No going back. Do not agree to "talking things over". Call the police if he hassles you by phone or in person. He is persona non grata now. If you engage with him, you will go back. Work on that premise if you really want to move on.

AnyFucker is bang on.

Is your mum ok? Did she get a shock? How about you?

I have told my parents most stuff, if I told them everything he has done I would be there all day also there's some stuff I don't feel she needs to know.

She is ok a bit shocked, she said she thinks I will go back to him, but I will never ever go back to him now.

I am with your mum, tbh

hey, prove us both wrong, eh

I will don't worry! I have to stay strong!

You will probably want to go back. Don't ask me why. It seems to be common. Like nicotine withdrawal. Be ready for it.

I think it's a kind of panic. Keep busy. Are you staying at your mums? Or waiting for a refuge space?

I'm sure there will be times when I feel like that, but I just have to think about dd and remember all shit he's put me through and just try to stay strong and not let him get To me.

I have told him not to contact me, to go through his mum if wants to talk about or see dd.

Yes, don't think it won't happen. It will. To deny it will let it creep up and take you unawares. You will wobble, massively. He had you too well trained not to.

The key is, how you handle the wobbles.

I'm staying at my mums for now.
I will give women's aid a call tomorrow.