What is this?

[Sillybillywilly]

If your 'd'p whipped you with a tea towel, threw a glass of water at you and threw and garden chair at you (well not at 'in your direction') would you consider this domestic abuse?

[AnyFucker]

too right

[Sillybillywilly]

Yep, surely things can't get any worse, the only way is up!

[AnyFucker]

Keep going, love x

[Sillybillywilly]

Thank you for asking

[Sillybillywilly]

Things are ok, plodding along at my mums, I am planning on staying here for now and saving as much as I can.

Ex has been really quiet, he had dd for a few hours today while I was at work, but apart from that I haven't heard from him.

Going to go to my local sure start tomorrow and get details of freedom programme in the area, I know the centre used to run it but I'm not sure they still do.

Things are no where near perfect, but I'm feeling more optimistic than I was a week ago

[ArsenicFaceCream]

How are things going?

[Sillybillywilly]

I only found out because dd stayed at mil last night, I phoned this morning to find out when she wanted to bring her back or did ex want to spend time with her and she no as he going to get a tattoo this afternoon! She also said he has had his dd fix today. Dd fix??!! She is HIS daughter not some one else's child that it's nice to see for a while then give back when he is done!

[AnyFucker]

Good ideas there. His mum might be a nice lady but she has no business telling you his shady antics. He is using your money to get a fucking tattoo and you have nothing from him for your dd ?

What a prick. Don't communicate with him, and don't gossip about him with his mum. He is feeding more mindfuckery to you through her. Cut it off.

[Sillybillywilly]

I think i will stay at my mums, not got to his mums. Called woman's aid but they were busy so I left my name and number hopefully they will call back.
Going to go to the council on Monday and see if there's anyway they can help me.

[Vivacia]

This is the kind of thing which makes some of us advise making a little bit of distance with your ex's mum.

[Sillybillywilly]

I won't, I'm bloody pissed off because he made me give him £100 the day before I left, he won't give it back and he won't give me any money for dd, as he apparently has no money, but he has gone to get a tattoo this afternoon! I found out through his mum!

[lazarusb]

I agree with AF, he is playing a waiting game waiting for you to crack.
A week after I left my ex he phoned and asked if I was still going to be doing his shopping and cleaning. How I laughed. But no mention of seeing our ds at that point.

[AnyFucker]

He is trying to mindfuck you. Don't be tempted to contact him.

[Sillybillywilly]

He is on the birth cert, he hasn't actually contacted me so far which I'm a bit suprized about.

I'm not worried about him picking her up from nursery, he wouldn't because he never actually wants to look after her!

[lazarusb]

You need to give yourself time. Quite why your mum thought that was worth challenging is curious. They're shoes, end of!

If he does get in contact, even via his family, keep a log of everything. Just in case. If (worst case scenario) he does turn up and threaten you etc, don't hesitate to call the police.

Is he on your dd's birth certificate? Just asking because if he isn't and he doesn't have PR you can prevent him collecting her from nursery etc.

[AnyFucker]

Sorry you are down today. Strippers are not my cuppa tea, tbh and even worse to get letched at afterwards... Yuk. That would make anyone feel crap.

I expect you will naturally be a bit oversensitive for a while. Be kind to yourself.

[Sillybillywilly]

Morning ladies, not feeling great today
Didn't have a great night, I'm a man hater right now I don't think going to see strippers was the best idea, also they only looked about16
We went to a bar after that was full of Leary, letchy men, awful.
My mum is winding me up a bit already just little things like when I was putting dd's shoes on
Dd- are these my trainers?
Me- there not really trainers ( little blue shoes with a Velcro strap and a flower on the toes)
Mum- why aren't they trainers? They could be trainers? What would you call them then?
Me- I don't know

Is this a normal thing to be would up about? Or am I being over sensitive? I just feel like questioning things I say to dd, making me look/ feel a bit stupid.

Also the last two nights I have had dreams that ex has been having a full blown affair, I went mental in my dreams, pulling the hair of the women and punching ex!
What's that about? I would never do that in rl! I have woken up feeling really angry at him. ( I don't think he ever had an affair, just a holiday fling in the first year of our relationship)

[Sillybillywilly]

Have to go to work soon so will call the first thing.

[ArsenicFaceCream]

Good

[Sillybillywilly]

Yes I can stay for a bit, will contact woman's aid and see what they say.

[ArsenicFaceCream]

At the moment you would be very high priority for housing (homeless, escaping DV). WA are experts at this stuff.

Could you hold o at your mum's for a few days if you had to?

[ArsenicFaceCream]

Not necessarily. I think local policies vary.

Phone and ask. You might have to hang on where you are while you wait for a space to come up.

[Sillybillywilly]

Would I have to go to a refuge in a different town?

[ArsenicFaceCream]

As supportive as your MIL sounds, I think you would be in a very vulnerable position staying there.

This.

WA could help you get on the housing list. How do you feel about that? Social housing could give you real stability and security and control over what happens in your home.

[ilovelamp82]

I really think you need to make a call to Women's and the council. I would be guessing. You need as much information as possible and to be on any lists you need to be as soon as possible, or to maybe even consider a refuge.