selfish dh

[exbrummie]

I posted a similar thread in aibu a few months ago and got eaten alive,but thought i'd try here to see if people feel differently.
Dd works about 7 miles away in a place with a crap bus service,the buses are every hour(and that's after she has made her way into the town centre,about 2 miles from where we live).
She starts at 8am but because of the way the buses are the one at 7.50 gets her there too late,so she has to get the one at 6.50.
There are no buses from our house to the town centre that early so she cycles to town then gets the bus.
On saturdays dh refuses to give her a lift which would help her so much(i can't drive) because he has to get up all week and derseves a lie in.
He grudgingly does it on a sunday as the buses don't start until later,but this is on the condition that i get up on a saturday to get his paper so he gets a lie in.
Getting home on a sunday is also a nightmare as the buses are every 2 hours and it usually works out that she just misses one,and by the time she gets to town the buses have stopped running to wherewe live so she ends up walking the
2 miles home.
Again dh refuses to pick her up as he wants to have a drink.
I know the answer is she learns to drive which she is in the process of doing and she is an adult etc but to me it's about hepling someone out and being a nice person not a selfish one.
I have told him he is being selfish and so has his dad but he can't or won't see the problem.
It just annoys me so much when he won't help her out and i feel like he doesn't care.
I don't really know what i'm asking here i suppose i'm just venting.
Congratulations if you got through that!!

How old is DD ? If she is a young teenager than I would possibly agree with you. If she is older than 16, the hey welcome to the real world, people have to get to work !

Just seen she is learning to drive. ! he takes her on a Sunday ! let the man have one lie in a week !!

I can see his point really. As an adult it's dd's responsibility to get to and from work. She could cycle, drive, or just accept that she'll be a bit early arriving and a bit late to leave.

It's not unreasonable to ask him to do it, but if he doesn't want to he's perfectly within his rights.

I think it's mean to gang up on him and try to bully him into doing it.

Ds's commute really isn't that bad.

Dd, not ds

Does your daughter give him petrol money or do chores to help him in return for his driving?

Adults need to be self sufficient really. not rely on other people to do things for them. Could she get a moped or taxi?

Is a taxi a possibility?

This is a bus journey of just two miles? She already cycles five miles to get to the bus? What's stopping her cycling all the way?

I can see where your DH is coming from tbh. Ganging up on him also isn't fair.

If your dd is old enough to have a job she is old enough to have the responsibility that goes along with it.

Your DH could give her lifts maybe occasionally but I think it isn't on to expect him to do so.

Other way round,she cycles 2 miles,then bus for 5.

It is not the nicest way to act, but your DD has other options. 7 miles is not far to cycle - it shouldn't take her more than 40 mins and would be doable in 30 once she gets used to it.

I agree with your DH, I'm afraid. I

I can see his point sorry.
My dd1 was in similar position but it was further around seven miles.

She just had to wait for the bus. Getting a bus and hour early so your not late is completly normal.

I would absolutely stop getting his bloody paper though , what a cheek !!!

Ok fair enough,i'll take it on the chin.

I think he's being mean.

Have you thought about taking driving lessons too? Sometimes it's hard when you are the sole driver in a family. Maybe your husband feels that.

Me too gingercat2 but looks like we are in the minority

7 miles is no distance on a bike.

She's got to be at least 17 if taking driving lessons so should be able to get herself to work and back.

How do you get to work? Does he take you or is he the sole earner, in which case it's not very much to ask for one lie in a week.

Why not learn to drive with her?

I'd do it but there are many who believe if old enough to be working then old enough to get yourself there and back.

Sorry I'm on his side.

He deserves a lie in/drink etc - he's not a taxi service. It shouldn't be just his responsibility.

If you feel sorry for DD, you should learn to drive and then you and DH can take it in turns.

She should get a taxi? On DH's weekends, he shouldn't have to be scurrying around someone else 1st thing.

That's just it though, you're not 'taking it on the chin'. You posted this before and overwhelmingly posters said you were being a bit unreasonable.

Still, pick away at that sore until you get the only answer you want. Sounds like a good plan.

I think he's being mean. It's always a pain when your kids are that age because they need to go out, to go to work etc yet they aren't able to drive themselves.

I do it for my children because I love them and I want to make their lives easier.