Broke up with my ex 3 and a half weeks ago. We'd been together almost 2yrs. At first he was angry and that was fine. I was very clear, everytime he asked in that first week, that it was 100% over. I had many reasons and felt he'd never change and I'd been very stressed and unhappy for months before.
The second week I'd asked him not to contact me and then got a few texts after that but he eventually left it. After lots of emotionally manipulative texts. I'm talking long essays about how sad he is/misses me & DS (not his and he was crap with him when we were together)/his family are upset/other kids keep asking after DS.
Then yesterday, after a week and a half of no contact (thank god, I thought that was it) he contacted me out of the blue with another guilt-trippy essay and begged me to just talk to him for a few minutes. It caught me off guard so I stupidly agreed as he said he just wanted to ask after DS etc (I am such a bloody idiot). He almost managed to talk me into meeting yesterday but I just said I couldn't handle it/didn't trust him not to try and beat me submission (not physically!) like he had been since we split. He really seemed to think enough harassment would win me back! 
He sent lots of texts that I ignored after that begging to come over for just fifteen minutes and I was actually really creeped out all night. It was crap and every sound had me on edge (I live in a ground floor flat and needed the windows open as it was so hot)!
I replied in the morning saying please don't contact me. I asked you not to contact me before. To which he sent another essay begging to come over/we need to be together/give it a chance and I just saw red. I don't want to feel scared in my own home!! So I threatened to call 101 (and meant it). Was sent a reply along the lines of 'I can't believe you'd threaten that when I'm just telling you I love you' 
Err I asked you not to contact me twice, in plain terms and you're scaring me. He has form for ignoring me wrt to boundary issues anyway.
I wasn't being OTT was I!?
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Did I do the right things by threatening to contact the police or was I OTT?
CharlieBrookerScowl · 06/07/2014 08:55
Quiet night 
A mutual friend said they all went to the pub after the police showed so he can't be that sad and goes to show how normal he/they think his behaviour was.
Getting news about moving today. to a two bed! Things are looking better
Ok, so he promised the P.O he would walk on ther other side of the street (which is way he'd actually walk anyway, as he has to choose to cross the road to walk on my side) but lo and behold, he walked past this morning and peered in (luckily my garden in a few metres long so he can't be face-at-the-window). Not sure why but it's made me 
I hope to god I'm moving sooner rather than later tbh.
Goes to show he really doesn't give a shit about me really/what I want/respecting that. Though that's not actualy reassuring when you're a bit intimidated by someone
Any texts or calls just ignore completely and if he turns up then ring the police.
You have my sympathies.. I had a bugger if a time getting rid of my ex.. He still thinks we're getting back together 5 years later
Thanks I think they just go into total denial/just don't care. Hear what they want to hear etc. I feel like I'm being a bit OTT but he scared me on Sunday and I don't feel like I can predict him fully so I just want to be 'careful' and make no presumtions that it's all over IYSWIM?
He hasn't texted again and doubt he will as I'd just log it with 101 to be safe.
When I threatened the police on Sat he sent 'one last text' to say that although I'd hurt him and threatened him he still loved me and if I ever changed my mind that I knew where to find him
On what planet do you even...? Just what?? 
It's the pretending everything's fine thing that bugs me. Mine was on the settee for a year because he wouldn't get out.. I remember one memorable night he followed me around the house with pillows because he wanted to sleep next to me
Total delusion. You'll do a bit of a jig when he moves on to somebody else hopefully.
Thanks It sure can be tempting when they're trying to evoke a reaction but I haven't contacted him since sat morning, telling him if he didn't stop contacting me I'd call the police. I thought I might be losing any legal highground if I did so didn't want to bugger that up!
I'm trying not to worry about it.
He's only on the very mild end of harassment and has been warned so it'll most likely fizzle out and he'll move on/accept it.
It sounds like she just doesn't know how bad it was. She heard he just knocked, I told him to go away and he did
And has been fed the guilt-trippy pity party crap he tried to feed me (except she believes it). She said he probably won't show up again as she'd told him it's not a good idea. So he was considering it? And that he's just not thinking rationally (it's been 3 weeks and that is not comforting)!
I have asked her not to talk to me about him anyway and she's said she won't plus I won't tell her anything I wouldn't want ex to know IYSWIM?
Been friends for quite a while and she's been helpful before but anymore similar and I'll just block her too.
(I don't fully believe it anyway as a.) of course he's not going to be that honest with everyone else and b.) He still went against what he'd promised the officer about not walking by and peering in which doesn't fit the 'getting over it' category)
I shouldn't worry about it though I guess. It's out of my hands unless he does something similar again so I should try and focus on relaxing in the eves and not worrying he's going to pop up!
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