Broke up with my ex 3 and a half weeks ago. We'd been together almost 2yrs. At first he was angry and that was fine. I was very clear, everytime he asked in that first week, that it was 100% over. I had many reasons and felt he'd never change and I'd been very stressed and unhappy for months before.
The second week I'd asked him not to contact me and then got a few texts after that but he eventually left it. After lots of emotionally manipulative texts. I'm talking long essays about how sad he is/misses me & DS (not his and he was crap with him when we were together)/his family are upset/other kids keep asking after DS.
Then yesterday, after a week and a half of no contact (thank god, I thought that was it) he contacted me out of the blue with another guilt-trippy essay and begged me to just talk to him for a few minutes. It caught me off guard so I stupidly agreed as he said he just wanted to ask after DS etc (I am such a bloody idiot). He almost managed to talk me into meeting yesterday but I just said I couldn't handle it/didn't trust him not to try and beat me submission (not physically!) like he had been since we split. He really seemed to think enough harassment would win me back! 
He sent lots of texts that I ignored after that begging to come over for just fifteen minutes and I was actually really creeped out all night. It was crap and every sound had me on edge (I live in a ground floor flat and needed the windows open as it was so hot)!
I replied in the morning saying please don't contact me. I asked you not to contact me before. To which he sent another essay begging to come over/we need to be together/give it a chance and I just saw red. I don't want to feel scared in my own home!! So I threatened to call 101 (and meant it). Was sent a reply along the lines of 'I can't believe you'd threaten that when I'm just telling you I love you' 
Err I asked you not to contact me twice, in plain terms and you're scaring me. He has form for ignoring me wrt to boundary issues anyway.
I wasn't being OTT was I!?
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Did I do the right things by threatening to contact the police or was I OTT?
CharlieBrookerScowl · 06/07/2014 08:55
I was with him for a year and a half and would never have expected that.
Goes to show how little you really know people I guess! I knew he'd take it badly but he usually ignores exes but 'had to fight' for me and couldn't cope without us etc
Doesn't matter that I told him I couldn't cope with him harassing me well it does now the police have told him off/warned him
I should be in bed but I'm too wired!
Glad the police took it seriously though. They were lovely. I felt like a time waster tbh! 
Gonna try and get some sleep. I doubt he'll do anything else now the police have been involved but it's just shaken me up a bit.
Hopefully it's over now though! 
I've got lots on tomorrow too and I'll be a grumpy/tired bugger. I might just explain to the (volunteer) job I'm doing tomorrow what happened. They're a lovely bunch of women and I don't want them to think I'm just being crap etc. It'll help take my mind off things to be there anyway.
And I'm moving soon, thank god! 
I know what you mean. Although we knew that he probably wouldnt turn up or try to carry out his threats, there was always that worry that he might. According the PO he was genuinely shocked that a) we had reported him and b) that he could be charged over the death threats, as apparently we should have known that he didnt mean it
You have drawn your line in the sand now. I rather suspect that although he has convinced himself you were totally over reacting, he wont risk it again. People like that push and push, the only way to deal with them is to do something like this, they may not take us seriously but the police are not easily manipulated or bullied, so they back off! Like all cowards they play the big man until they are confronted and then they skuttle off to feel sorry for themselves!
Yeah, some people don't seem to think you'll do anything serious about it or actually realize it's having a horrible effect on you. I think he just saw it from his point of view/just didn't care anyway. He was definitely trying to grind me down til I gave in though.
The creepiest bit was that I was stood there telling him to leave and his replies barely acknowledged it! He was just stood there, hand on each side of the door and leaning forwards (which was quite intimidating as he's pretty tall as it is), begging to come in and saying he'd do anything etc and just getting really emotional. I don't know why but I'd have been less scared if he was just being an outright twat. He was just on another planet entirely 
They showed up at his friends where he went after and I know he'll be embarassed and angry. After all he was "just telling me he loved me"
And I don't think he knew that he was actually genuinely harassing, from a legal viewpoint! No doubt he'll play the victim etc but I'll just be bloody happy if that's it. Can't wait to move!
I'm just angry this morning though as I'm knackered and one of the long-running themes in the relationship was that he was selfish and I was always tired (always coming over later than promised, staying up quite late etc).
How on earth he thought his 'technique' would work I do not know...
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