Did I do the right things by threatening to contact the police or was I OTT?

[CharlieBrookerScowl]

Broke up with my ex 3 and a half weeks ago. We'd been together almost 2yrs. At first he was angry and that was fine. I was very clear, everytime he asked in that first week, that it was 100% over. I had many reasons and felt he'd never change and I'd been very stressed and unhappy for months before.

The second week I'd asked him not to contact me and then got a few texts after that but he eventually left it. After lots of emotionally manipulative texts. I'm talking long essays about how sad he is/misses me & DS (not his and he was crap with him when we were together)/his family are upset/other kids keep asking after DS.

Then yesterday, after a week and a half of no contact (thank god, I thought that was it) he contacted me out of the blue with another guilt-trippy essay and begged me to just talk to him for a few minutes. It caught me off guard so I stupidly agreed as he said he just wanted to ask after DS etc (I am such a bloody idiot). He almost managed to talk me into meeting yesterday but I just said I couldn't handle it/didn't trust him not to try and beat me submission (not physically!) like he had been since we split. He really seemed to think enough harassment would win me back!

He sent lots of texts that I ignored after that begging to come over for just fifteen minutes and I was actually really creeped out all night. It was crap and every sound had me on edge (I live in a ground floor flat and needed the windows open as it was so hot)!

I replied in the morning saying please don't contact me. I asked you not to contact me before. To which he sent another essay begging to come over/we need to be together/give it a chance and I just saw red. I don't want to feel scared in my own home!! So I threatened to call 101 (and meant it). Was sent a reply along the lines of 'I can't believe you'd threaten that when I'm just telling you I love you' Err I asked you not to contact me twice, in plain terms and you're scaring me. He has form for ignoring me wrt to boundary issues anyway.

I wasn't being OTT was I!?

[unrealhousewife]

And by tomorrow they'll have to show up at my house to harass me, which I'm sure the police will think is hi-lariouuuuuus

That's precisely why I think you should let them think they are contacting you by leaving things as open as you can without actually reading the stuff. let it sit and accumulate and let the police read it all at a later date.

If they have no-one to vent to they might well just do that and come round. He is clearly putting quite a lot of pressure on people to try and talk you round. He can't bear that he's not in control any more. Allowing him to vent to a dead sim card will give him time to simmer down and come to terms with being a loser.

I don't know, that's my view. And I would put up Hissy's post, perhaps a more restrained neutral version but yes- clarify the legal position to them.

[CharlieBrookerScowl]

The police warned ex that getting third parties involved is still not legally 'on'. But his sister got involved way before the police were involved a few weeks back and is generally a busybody so it's very likely that's just her, going on his side of the story etc.

Nothing this morning/last night though

[tribpot]

Not beyond the wit of man for him to tell her not to stay involved by order of the police, though, is it? Just because she did before the police had a word doesn't make it acceptable that she did so after.

I'd let the police know, but leave it there. Glad the night has been peaceful.

[CharlieBrookerScowl]

Yeah, the police officer said she'd told him family/friends getting involved would still be taken seriously and I'm not sure he's that stupid. I've called the police twice and anymore obviously from him/with him behind it and I'd push to get him arrested/taken etc.

Glad I won't really have to deal with it after today though. I don't think they'd be stupid enough to turn up, plus only ex knows where I live.

[CharlieBrookerScowl]

Just to say I'm hiding the thread now as everything's died down and I think I can finally just get on with things now

I just wanted to pop on quickly beforehand to say thank you for all the brilliant advice/support from people on here. It really helped at a very crappy time

[unrealhousewife]

Glad to hear that you're feeling safe and settled now.

[Meerka]

good to hear it's settled down :)

[Jux]

So glad it's gone quiet.

Hope you get a good home in a nice area and wishing you all good things for the future.

Don't hesitate to post again if you need to. But you won't need to

[AdoraBell]

Glad it's calmed down. Best of luck for the future.

[CharlieBrookerScowl]

Thank you

On to better things I think!