Broke up with my ex 3 and a half weeks ago. We'd been together almost 2yrs. At first he was angry and that was fine. I was very clear, everytime he asked in that first week, that it was 100% over. I had many reasons and felt he'd never change and I'd been very stressed and unhappy for months before.
The second week I'd asked him not to contact me and then got a few texts after that but he eventually left it. After lots of emotionally manipulative texts. I'm talking long essays about how sad he is/misses me & DS (not his and he was crap with him when we were together)/his family are upset/other kids keep asking after DS.
Then yesterday, after a week and a half of no contact (thank god, I thought that was it) he contacted me out of the blue with another guilt-trippy essay and begged me to just talk to him for a few minutes. It caught me off guard so I stupidly agreed as he said he just wanted to ask after DS etc (I am such a bloody idiot). He almost managed to talk me into meeting yesterday but I just said I couldn't handle it/didn't trust him not to try and beat me submission (not physically!) like he had been since we split. He really seemed to think enough harassment would win me back! 
He sent lots of texts that I ignored after that begging to come over for just fifteen minutes and I was actually really creeped out all night. It was crap and every sound had me on edge (I live in a ground floor flat and needed the windows open as it was so hot)!
I replied in the morning saying please don't contact me. I asked you not to contact me before. To which he sent another essay begging to come over/we need to be together/give it a chance and I just saw red. I don't want to feel scared in my own home!! So I threatened to call 101 (and meant it). Was sent a reply along the lines of 'I can't believe you'd threaten that when I'm just telling you I love you' 
Err I asked you not to contact me twice, in plain terms and you're scaring me. He has form for ignoring me wrt to boundary issues anyway.
I wasn't being OTT was I!?
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Did I do the right things by threatening to contact the police or was I OTT?
CharlieBrookerScowl · 06/07/2014 08:55
Thanks. DS has just gone to bed so it's bath, book and bed for me too 
He very likely won't! Obviously didn't think I'd call them after the threat or I know he'd have never shown up. He's a hockey team captain and the local 'nice guy' hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaNO so he'll be quite embarassed that his friends know already and have likely passed it on. And my neighbours saw a lot of it & the police showing up.
I'm sure he'd have carried on if I hadn't though so I'm really relieved, if a little jumpy!
Thanks. Yep 
Had a few threads over the last year and a half.
Regret not doing it sooner and being so wet but bloody glad I've got rid anyway. Besides his twattery since we split life has been so much easier for me and DS
Good link
seeking control or refusing to relinquish it
For him, it really seemed to be the latter. He wouldn't stop 'fighting for me' but when someone's said no there is nothing to fight for
Probably.
He was saying he'd never fought for an ex like this and had anyone ever fought for me like this? 
err no and why are you saying it like it's a good thing!
And that's true as far as I know (small town, lots of mutual friends). So I don't get why changed his tune. I guess he probably quite enjoyed it when I was being a wet blanket and too-nice-a-GF earlier on!
They may tell you that you are "the best thing that has ever happened" to them, and that they want to start treating you that way, confusing you further
Oh lord. That is exactly what he was saying last night when he was begging for a chance.
I feel really stupid
And thanks. He just made me feel like I was being unreasonable when I pulled him up on little things so they were let go, when actually, they made me feel uncomfortable and usually made me feel patronized/direspected. He called me 'his numpty' a lot (supposedly endearing) and was late all the time as well as just expecting me and DS to slot into his eat-sleep-wake cycle. When it was my house. Oh and of course the 27yr old boy thought I should look after the house differently, despite never lifting a finger (unless he thought he'd get a round of applause for it)!
Rant over
"Once someone starts to detach from an abuser and refuses to play the games, he may go for the sympathy ploy. If his partner doesn't capitulate and refuses to pander to his emotional blackmail, she will be accused of being cold and heartless" - That is literally what has happened in the last 3 weeks 
Yet when we were together I/he had loads of excuses for why he was the way he was.
I have copied and pasted loads of crap but I just can't believe half of what I'm reading. It's strangely relieving though. It just makes more sense now and I don't feel guilty at all!
If you find that you are having to explain the basics of respect and courtesy to a partner - if you are finding that he just DOESN'T SEEM TO GET IT, when you try to explain why his behavior or actions were disrespectful - run far and run fast
I am living by that from now on
And off to bed, hopefully undisturbed 
I was also often told off for 'over-thinking' also who 'tells off' another adult. Which I felt always translated to "stop pulling me up on the crap stuff I say/do"
Idiot.
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