Wondering if he spiked my drinks...

[heyho1919]

Third date we went for dinner. He was driving and i ended up drinking quite a lot, but less than i have done on many occasions! He ended up back at my house and the obvious happened. For the ext few days i felt like i've never felt before, felt like i was going ot pass out, palpitations, etc. Felt ill for about a week. I'm wondering if he might have put something in my drinks? Or maybe it was just a stange reaction.. Any thoughts?

[Maisie0]

Heyho You need to work on yourself a bit. Cos your radar is a little bit off. The thing is, no guy should make you "fear" them. And nor should you go along with whatever they say even if it makes you feel uncomfortable, that is the point. Even though socially we should be nice, or whatever, but he is supposed to be a partner, or a dating person. You need to judge him by those standards. Remember to put yourself first and follow your gut instincts in this kind of scenario. And do not have "what ifs". No what ifs at all.

The niceness is just civilities. Even so, you need to be able to trust a guy more implicitly before you should be intimate with him. If confused. Then step back. If no trust, then no relationship. No kissing even. No nothing. That is how it should be. If you do not even "get" him emotionally and mentally, then he is a misnomer to you. It would not be a good foundation to build trust upon.

Your hope will come back when you trust your own gut instincts. You need to find the strength to say "no" to things that you do not like the sound of, or the look of. Because trusting yourself actually is what makes you have hope. If you didn't like how he asked you about your child, then just say "no". Do not go along with it at all. Sharpen your intuition again.

[heyho1919]

I'm wondering if i did the right thing now as have actually quite missed him this week. We did have a fiar bit in common and mainly got on really well. I wondering whether to get back in touch...

[handfulofcottonbuds]

No offence heyho but......for the love of sanity!!

[heyho1919]

I know - silly isn't it!

[handfulofcottonbuds]

Yep! I'd advise you to read through your thread again.

Move on, as I said before, dating doesn't need to have this many dramas - especially when you've only had 3 dates!

[LisaMed]

I've had colds that lasted longer than your relationship and they didn't give me as much misery.

Every time you think of him you are missing a hope, not a reality. I think you need to work hard on working out exactly what the hope is and other ways to meet it. Please do not mistake this as anything other that him training you to accept abuse.

btw the posts in relationships that are really, really, really bad - that will be you in a few years if you get back in touch.

Keep posting, esp every time you think of him. Good luck.

[AndTheBandPlayedOn]

No heyho no no no.
The "fair bit in common and got on really well" was him mirroring you. That is not the authentic him. That is him wanting to bait you, to seduce you. It is a fake facade. He was playing you which turned very quickly into grooming (don't talk to me that way, etc). You are very lucky he tipped his hand way too soon.

Perhaps your sadness lies more in your frustration (if that is the right word) of being single. Embrace being single. Embrace raising your child. It will be much healthier to change your attitude about that, than it will be to ignore so many warning signs about a man you do not know.

[heyho1919]

You're right i do get a bit fed up being single. I'm absolutely fine when my son's with me but it's the time he's with his dad that i stuggle with sometimes. My friends are all married with young families and don't go out much so it's hard being alone so much.

[Maisie0]

You can get to be a bit "sentimental" because it is what it is. Each time we be that close and open our heart to somebody we do attach a little bit, and that is normal. As women, we just don't give the whole game away Dearie ! That is the whole blooming point. You gotta protect yourself and only open up to a person that is worthy of being able to hold your heart dearly and treasure it. The ones that you can actually also protect his interest of too. You need to learn to be a little bit alone, or you can always try to now build up a group of simple friendships with nothing too heavy ? Because I guess that if you had that, you wouldn't actually let the dating situation takeover you too much and slowly ease into a proper relationship, and not rush things either.