Wondering if he spiked my drinks...

[heyho1919]

Third date we went for dinner. He was driving and i ended up drinking quite a lot, but less than i have done on many occasions! He ended up back at my house and the obvious happened. For the ext few days i felt like i've never felt before, felt like i was going ot pass out, palpitations, etc. Felt ill for about a week. I'm wondering if he might have put something in my drinks? Or maybe it was just a stange reaction.. Any thoughts?

Thanks garlic :) Re the lying thread, he did actually come up with a plausible explanation for that, and i do belive him. However i do find him a bit "invasive". Also on our third date he made an observation about my appearance which he found to be unusual and asked if i'd had some sort of injury. It was something i'd not really been conscious of before and now i am a bit. Most guys i've dated have been very complimentary about my appearance. Thsi guy said he didn't mean it badly and thinks i'm very attractive. However i wouldn't dream of sayng that sort of thing to someone..

Just imagining this for a moment - you know, I wouldn't even want to have sex with a bloke who was massively drunk, if I was sober! I'd feel as if we weren't on the same page. All the googly eyes and lack of focus would feel ... well, as if I was taking advantage. It'd be weird. I don't even think this happened in my abusive marriages. (Note to critics: I'm thinking massively drunk, not cheerfully relaxed.)

Hell's bells, he indicated your appearance was 'damaged' on your third date?!

Mate, you're being boiled.

Sounds bad doesn't it...

It definitely sounds like too much hassle, put it that way.

I think he's pushing your boundaries - just a little bit at a time. Will she take this? Oh yes. So will she take this? Mmmhmmm, now I can try this.....

3rd date. Only the third date and he has already got you wondering. If you're wondering about the trustworthyness, decency, of someone on only the third date, it's the ideal time to look for someone else.

He asked if you had some sort of injury?!

For the love of sanity, move on, forget him, stop going over it and block him.

I know it's probably mad i've even seen him a few times. Think i need to tell him i wont be seeing him aagain - feel guilty about the tickets he's bought but i think there was a cancellation add on he bought..

Dear woman, would you please read back your own posts?

Who taught you that you were worth so little? He's absolutely awful!

What did he treat the waiting staff like at the restaurant? Did he tip?

It sounds like he likes getting his money's worth iykwim.

He possibly drugged you, shagged you when he knew he ought not to have done, and feels guilty for same. By saying all this to you, you're supposed to say 'ah no, it was fine'

Next time, if you aren't up for it. I'm prepared to bet that he'd get shitty and throw a lot of this back in your face.

He's not right for you, or anyone for that matter. Dump and run. For your own safety.

I don't think he spiked your drink. But he sounds like someone who doesn't respect boundaries, and you shouldn't be having this many doubts after only 3 dates, so walk away.

The symptoms you describe sound very much like anxiety and from what you've said I am not surprised. I wouldn't see this man again.

Mervy - you think hes anxious or me?! I don't generally feel anxious, but am wary of things which don't feel right..

Sorry I should give my reasons for that feeling-

Condom issue- no respect, will make you feel vulnerable.

Having sex with you when you're very drunk (whether you initiated it or not) -also shows lack of respect and will make you feel fragile and generally shit.

Talking about meeting your son so soon- intrusive. Obviously going to put you in a state of high alert about this man.

The comment about your appearance- again made you feel exposed and vulnerable.

The wine and tickets- not a big deal in themselves but along with everything else have served to make you feel like this man doesn't care very much about you.

Sorry- blimming phone, posted too soon. I think his behaviour could have made you feel unsettled/anxious enough to perhaps have physical symptoms, rather than that your drink was spiked.

something about this guy doesn't feel right to you. i think you're working out exactly what it is, but clearly something doesn't ring true. always listen to your instincts.

How did we get from 'a bit drunk' and remembering everything to 'very drunk'?

I was drunk - not as in almost uncoscious, but more than tipsy. Sorry i thought that was quite clear

And another thing is his "memory". it appears to be apallingly bad - forgotting things I've told him the day before. My ex used to do this - like a form of control

Control, or gaslighting?

Either I guess. My ex used to do both so I'm on my gueard for it..

Just looked at your other threads OP, I remember the lie one and I remember the condom one, but didn't connect the two.

Putting those together with this thread, you know your own body and your reaction to alcohol if you have been feeling strange then maybe you're right. No-one here can tell that's for sure.

If you even suspect your drink was spiked then you should never see him again, but really the red flag was the lying. If I'd twigged condom guy was liar guy I would have responded very differently on the condom thread.

Never see him again. And be more discriminating about liars.

guard - not gueard!!

And be more discriminating about liars.

Sorry that sounded snippy, wasn't meant to. I just meant - lies should be a deal-breaker. There's something really off about this guy.

If things don't feel 'right' it's often because they are not!! Especially when treated in isolation.

Dating or seeing someone shouldn't be this much hard work...trust your instincts and move on

If things don't feel 'right' it's often because they are not!! Especially when treated in isolation.

Dating or seeing someone shouldn't be this much hard work...trust your instincts and move on