DH thinks I am being antisocial and deliberately avoiding his company in the evening.

[DamnLiesAndStatistics]

I'm after some advice, I've told him that I'm not being antisocial but he won't have it and thinks I'm doing it to avoid him.
Sorry if it's boring with timings and possibly tmi. I get in from work at about 5/5:30 depending on how busy I've been and I go straight into the kitchen to cook the evening meal, we're all hungry obviously so I don't really hang about, by the time we've eaten it it's about 6-6:30 ish, I guess. I normally go into the living room and watch a bit of tv with DH, a single programme, say about 45 minutes?

This is where it gets a bit tmi, sorry. I do the washing up and tidying away etc and make a packed lunch for DS and then I usually need a poo (cringe). I want to go upstairs to the toilet and perhaps have a shower, it's usually about 7:15/7:30 by this time. DH wants me to watch tv with him. He says he doesn't want to be alone in the living room anymore as he's had enough of watching it alone during the day, he says I should wait till 11pm when he usually goes to bed before I have my shower etc.
I've told him its not me avoiding him, I just need to go to the toilet then and want a quick shower earlier. What can I say to convince him?

Sorry if bring dim. Does he watch TV all day?

Tell him you will have your shower whilst he cooks dinner and clears up and then you will be happy to spend the evening with him or better still tell him not to be a needy prat. Why does he need to watch so much TV all day anyway?

I'll be honest - if my DH disappeared upstairs at 7.15 every single night I'd feel a bit lonely too. Its crap spending all evening watching TV alone.

Don't you come downstairs afterwards at all? It can't take you three hours to shower and poo!

He has a hobby he does sometimes outside (golf), tends to watch tv when he's not out playing golf.

I'm sure it doesn't take me more than half an hour to shower, he just says I should wait till he's gone to bed.

Does he not work? If not- could he do dinner for when you get in from work?

If he's watching TV all day, why can't he prepare dinner?

Ok I missed a bit then. You do come down again after showering?

Wait, he's been watching tv all day, but you make the dinner, wash up, and do the packed lunches?

So he's home but you come home and cook the evening meal and clear up? What does he do?

I got the impression the TV watching that the OP is talking about is in the evenings for him too, but I may be wrong.

He doesn't cook, he says he can't and he burns everything.

Yes, why can't he do the jobs while you shower and then you can both sit down together.

Tell him you'll shower and poo while he either cooks dinner or clears it up

Well he's gonna have to learn. If you have kids you have to cook food for them. Otherwise they die.

What does he actually do?

So why can't he clear away then?

You're not giving much up so it's hard to build a picture.

Well, I've tried trying to persuade him to help with cooking and cleaning. Frankly we'd starve and nothing would ever get washed up or cleaned!

Time he learned then, and what's his excuse for the washing up?

He doesn't have an excuse, it's just that I do the housework.

OP, do you stay upstairs after 7.30 every evening? If so, are you avoiding him?

So he dictates that you make dinner because he can't cook.

You wash up.

You make packed lunches.

Now, he wants to dictate that you stay up late to shower so that he is not alone in his lounging. Jesus Christ.

By the way, I work, cook, wash up and do packed lunches. However, dh does homework, bath and bed with the dc. We then enjoy each other's company when the kids are in bed. Sometimes I shower. I couldn't abide a lounger while I was busy.

oh stop enabling him.

Tell him to either shape up and do his share while you shower, or he's gonna have to shut the fuck up about you showering after you've cooked his dinner.

He sounds like a knob.

He can wash up whilst you shower then you have longer together in the evenings.

It seems he does very little whilst you do everything, maybe I am jumping the gun and making assumptions but it sounds like he needs to pull his finger out.