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Original poster

DH thinks I am being antisocial and deliberately avoiding his company in the evening.

197 replies

DamnLiesAndStatistics · 21/05/2014 18:45

I'm after some advice, I've told him that I'm not being antisocial but he won't have it and thinks I'm doing it to avoid him.
Sorry if it's boring with timings and possibly tmi. I get in from work at about 5/5:30 depending on how busy I've been and I go straight into the kitchen to cook the evening meal, we're all hungry obviously so I don't really hang about, by the time we've eaten it it's about 6-6:30 ish, I guess. I normally go into the living room and watch a bit of tv with DH, a single programme, say about 45 minutes?

This is where it gets a bit tmi, sorry. I do the washing up and tidying away etc and make a packed lunch for DS and then I usually need a poo (cringe). I want to go upstairs to the toilet and perhaps have a shower, it's usually about 7:15/7:30 by this time. DH wants me to watch tv with him. He says he doesn't want to be alone in the living room anymore as he's had enough of watching it alone during the day, he says I should wait till 11pm when he usually goes to bed before I have my shower etc.
I've told him its not me avoiding him, I just need to go to the toilet then and want a quick shower earlier. What can I say to convince him?

OP posts:
Bonsoir · 21/05/2014 19:09

He really ought to be doing all the catering in the evening if you are out at work all day and he is retired. If he wants to spend time with you a delicious home cooked dinner and a glass of wine on a nicely laid table would probably work for you, wouldn't it?

dripty · 21/05/2014 19:09

This has got to be a wind up surely.
If not, why do you let him get away with this behaviour?
Bloody hell I'll say it then.....LTB.

Maryz · 21/05/2014 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DamnLiesAndStatistics · 21/05/2014 19:10

Why would you ask if he can read?

OP posts:
BuildYourOwnSnowman · 21/05/2014 19:10

My dh had a 3 month career break (this was before kids) and he cooked all the meals, did shopping, cleaning etc. only thing I did was washing.

Your dh needs to step up - he can do it, he just won't. Is that acceptable to you?

You have enormous issues here and when you take a shit isn't one of them

gamerchick · 21/05/2014 19:11

What kind of advice are you after OP?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 21/05/2014 19:11

Because if you can read you can cook. It's easy. You read what it says on the packet and then you do it.

But if he can't read I can kind of understand why cooking might be difficult for him.

Betrayedbutsurvived · 21/05/2014 19:12

Just because you've always done it, doesn't mean you always have to. Circumstances have changed now, and you need to tell him to pull his weight.

Original poster
DamnLiesAndStatistics · 21/05/2014 19:13

He's been out playing golf today. In the sun. He's not the sad man in his fifties sitting watching Jeremy Kyle you imagine. He plays golf with rich, important people. Famous people.

OP posts:
basgetti · 21/05/2014 19:14

Even if he 'can't cook' why can't he do the washing up and packed lunches whilst you go and have your shower? He sounds awful btw.

Maryz · 21/05/2014 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 21/05/2014 19:15

...riiiight.

Bonsoir · 21/05/2014 19:15

The fact that he plays golf with rich people doesn't excuse him from doing his bit and it is outrageous that he doesn't make dinner for you.

3littlefrogs · 21/05/2014 19:16

If he is not working outside the home, he should be doing an appropriate amount of the domestic work.
In your shoes I would have zero respect for him.

Bluestocking · 21/05/2014 19:16

"He plays golf with rich, important people. Famous people."
And then he comes home and tries to tell his wife, who's been at work all day, when she can do a number two and have a shower?
Cor blimey.

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 21/05/2014 19:16

Hes a sad man in his fifties who sits at home watching tv while his wife (who has been at work all day) runs around after him. I think that makes him pretty pathetic no matter who he plays golf with.

Betrayedbutsurvived · 21/05/2014 19:16

Oh, we'll, why didn't you say so, if he's playing golf with rich people then of course it's ok to spend the rest of the time lounging round in front of the telly and dictating when his wife can take a shit!

hotcrosshunny · 21/05/2014 19:17

Give him a cooking book. Jamie Oliver's ministry of food is good for novices.

Inertia · 21/05/2014 19:17

Well if he can't cook he has plenty of time to learn - you can do a lot of practising if you're home all day every day.

If he doesn't want to be alone all day he can go out and look for a job, or volunteer, or offer to run errands .

Honestly, I've read about a lot of controlling men on here but I don't recall ever seeing one where a man forbids his wife from using the loo unless he has agreed the timing in advance.

matildasquared · 21/05/2014 19:18

He plays golf with rich, important people. Famous people.

Then why is he so lonely that he can't spare you for a bathroom break?

He still sounds sad.

Annarose2014 · 21/05/2014 19:18

Let me guess......Bruce Forsythe. Terry Wogan.

Annarose2014 · 21/05/2014 19:19

Tom O'Connor.

Wait.....is he still alive.....?

AnyFucker · 21/05/2014 19:19

is this for real ? Confused

ROARmeow · 21/05/2014 19:20

does he have any redeeming features, a pure gold cock, perhaps?

Maryz · 21/05/2014 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.