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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I'm a fucking mug

309 replies

ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:02

Dh, who I have posted about before (name changed) has just fucking grabbed me again and bruised my neck and given me a fat lip. This is after hitting me around the face with cushions after I warned him about touching me and throwing my keys at me hard.

All he has done all day is argue with me and scream at me and ruined my plans with my children. One min he's all apologetic and then he's a nasty cunt when he realises it doesn't wash with me anymore.

I have asked him to leave, so many times I've lost count but he won't go. He refuses. I'm going to have to leave tomorrow with my children :(

OP posts:
Original poster
ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:03

He keeps texting me asking why I've decided to ruin his life today.

OP posts:
Joules68 · 18/05/2014 22:03

Tomorrow? But how safe are you tonight? You are there with dc....

RandomMess · 18/05/2014 22:04

Hugs, you can do this, and it WILL be worth it x

bigbuttons · 18/05/2014 22:04

I suggest calling the police.

Original poster
ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:05

Yes. Dc are in bed asleep (although 9 year old might still be awake due to all the shouting).

I'm in the bathroom behind a locked door. He's in the bedroom texting me.

Apparently this is what I wanted all along. He's very sorry he reacts the way he does but I make him be like that. I told him I'm not responsible for the actions of a grown man.

OP posts:
BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 18/05/2014 22:05

Sounds like he's making a fairly decent job of ruining yours.

Do you have somewhere to go and have you called the police to report having been assaulted? That might be a fairly quick route to getting him out.

BuzzardBird · 18/05/2014 22:06

Is he a drunk by any chance? The warm weather seems to bring them out.

teaandthorazine · 18/05/2014 22:06

Have you got somewhere to go to? Where is he now?

Have you called the police?

Sorry this is happening to you and your kids. You know, of course, that it's dangerous for you all to continue in this situation, but it really should be him that goes.

Original poster
ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:06

I've called the police before, twice. They had social services send a letter to say they would do a visit. I really don't want that again, I don't want them involved.

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 18/05/2014 22:06

I agree with calling the police. Please leave him and never go back. Neither your or your children deserve this.

badgerknowsbest · 18/05/2014 22:07

You are not a mug and it sounds like he his ruining his own life without any help.

Hopefully you are safe tonight and hope things improve for you and your dc.

teaandthorazine · 18/05/2014 22:07

Ok, if he's still there you really need to call the police. It's scary but it is necessary. You can't spend the night locked in the bathroom.

Of course you're not responsible for his behaviour.

Original poster
ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:07

No he hasn't had anything to drink.

This is my fault apparently. Because he was having a go at me for going on my phone when I got back from work. I'd only been home 10 mins and was just reading the news :(

OP posts:
FunnyFoot · 18/05/2014 22:07

He's assaulted you. Call the police.

Do you think a man as nasty as this one will take the break up well?

He won't and by calling the police they will log it which will help you and hopefully deal with him so that you and the children can be safe tonight.

Do not accept this beating please look after yourself.

Joules68 · 18/05/2014 22:08

You have no choice, call them..... Your dc are in the house

Original poster
ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:08

I am a mug because he's done this before yet he's still here.

He won't leave, like he says the house is his too. I tried locking him out but didn't work.

OP posts:
forumdonkey · 18/05/2014 22:08

Phone the police OP tell them you are locked in your bathroom and scared and you have been assaulted. They will remove him.

This is what I had to do with my abusive ex.

pictish · 18/05/2014 22:09

Yes yes...you make him behave that way. His violence and bullying is all your doing.
That's what abusers invariably tell their victims.

You must end this relationship as soon as you can. Whose name is the house in?

Original poster
ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:10

I'm fucking disgusting now because I baited him into giving me a reason to leave him!

Can you block numbers on iPads? He's smashed my phone up already today so I can't use that.

OP posts:
antimatter · 18/05/2014 22:11

Report him. This is Domestic Violence situation.
Police will help you.

Original poster
ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:11

It's both of our names on the mortgage.

He says I will ruin his career if I do anything.

OP posts:
SoberMe · 18/05/2014 22:11

Are you able to call police right now?

BillyBanter · 18/05/2014 22:12

For your children's sake if not your own please phone the police, tell them about the assault, that you are in the bathroom afraid and ask them to remove him. then phone women's aid for advice.

antimatter · 18/05/2014 22:12

Who cares about his career if he is a wife beater?

wherethewildthingis · 18/05/2014 22:13

Call the police- if not for you then for your children, you have just said one of them is probably awake because of the shouting. How do you think your child is feeling, up there alone? This is not your fault, it is his, but you have a duty to protect your children. Just do it.