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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I'm a fucking mug

309 replies

ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:02

Dh, who I have posted about before (name changed) has just fucking grabbed me again and bruised my neck and given me a fat lip. This is after hitting me around the face with cushions after I warned him about touching me and throwing my keys at me hard.

All he has done all day is argue with me and scream at me and ruined my plans with my children. One min he's all apologetic and then he's a nasty cunt when he realises it doesn't wash with me anymore.

I have asked him to leave, so many times I've lost count but he won't go. He refuses. I'm going to have to leave tomorrow with my children :(

OP posts:
forumdonkey · 18/05/2014 22:22

Message one of us with your address and we will call 999 for you

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 18/05/2014 22:24

Then pm one of us and we will call the police on your behalf. Please just do it. Do it now.

Violent men who get to finally understand that the worm has turned and are preparing to really leave are at their most dangerous. Please don't risk leaving this any longer

wileycoyote · 18/05/2014 22:25

If he can hear you calling it would be better to get someone else to make the call. I got bashed when I tried to leave my husband. You do not want to provoke him before help is at hand.

LokiTheCynicalCat · 18/05/2014 22:26

What PP said, message someone and ask them to call the police to you.

Or download Skype to the iPad and use that to call the police. You should be able to find a number online to call your local force and get the DV team.

He has smashed your phone and unplugged the landline so he thinks he has you trapped and you can't do anything.

And on the career point, he's wrecked your face and your marriage and your children's childhood by abusing you. Why does he get off scot-free with his career and reputation intact while you all suffer?

Ewieindwie1 · 18/05/2014 22:26

The police have to be involved. Message a friend. You must protect yourself and your poor DCs. Good luck.

teaandthorazine · 18/05/2014 22:27

You can PM any of us and we will call for you.

forumdonkey · 18/05/2014 22:30

Are you still here OP? Are you OK?

ancientbuchanan · 18/05/2014 22:30

Op, call the police. You must follow through as otherwise he will just perpetuate this. And that is incredibly bad for you, the dcs and ultimately him.

Blaming the victim is v usual. It's an excuse. He needs to take responsibility for hid actions and face up to them.

The police would remove him. Charges could/ well be brought, so you will again need to follow through. It's tough, but the right thing. You do not want your children damaged physically or mentally by him, it to perpetuate his habits.

You will have certain rights, so you also need to get s solicitor.

But that's tomorrow. Ring now or get one if us to do so.

LuluJakey1 · 18/05/2014 22:31

Call the police .
Then LTB.
Put your and the DCs safety and sanity first.
Once men have crossed over a line and gone to the next stage they NEVER go back.
Call the police!
Bugger his career- your safety is more important.

BuzzardBird · 18/05/2014 22:33

You have an iPad. You have no excuse not to protect your children.

pictish · 18/05/2014 22:35

I think the pressure to call the police may be too much for OP.

wherethewildthingis · 18/05/2014 22:38

I am reluctant to say this as you are clearly in an awful situation and the abuse is not your fault. But - children's social workers are there to protect children . Often we say it's the children we work for. Your children need a social worker right now- their father is an abuser and you are unable or unwilling to protect them. You need to snap out of this, NOW before your children are any more emotionally harmed, or physically harmed. You seem as committed as your partner to keeping the abuse a secret and stopping agencies getting involved.
Really- think for a minute how your children felt when they heard you violently attacked.
Call the police.

LuluJakey1 · 18/05/2014 22:38

Social services will just want to know you and the children are safe. If he is out of the house, that will satisfy them.

It must be terribly hard for you but at the moment he is getting away with this so why would he stop?

Put you and your children first.

forumdonkey · 18/05/2014 22:40

I like many on MN have been in your situation OP and have eventually called the police and have come out the other side. For me it is nearly 7 years ago and not once have I regretted that decision. For me my only regret is I didn't do it sooner. I promise you that if you can be brave and do it or let one of us do it for you it won't be as scary as tonight is going to be if you don't.

allisgood1 · 18/05/2014 22:40

I'm actually worried he's going to hurt you again tonight. Please please message someone so the police can come and arrest him.

forumdonkey · 18/05/2014 22:45

Are you there OP? Are you OK?

LiberalLibertine · 18/05/2014 22:46

Hope you're ok op, what a bastard your H is.

He's grabbed you round the neck tonight, and split your lip.

You've told him you're leaving him tomorrow.

This is an EXTREMELY dangerous situation,I know you don't want to phone the police, but what if he does something terrible tonight? It happens.

Please find the courage.

hashtagwhatever · 18/05/2014 22:46

Op are you ok? Are the dc all asleep

Original poster
ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:49

Police are in their way. Sorry' he disconnected my internet so just got it running again. Haven't disappeared. I'm very scared.

OP posts:
Original poster
ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:49

He's left btw.he did when I rang the police.

OP posts:
BillyBanter · 18/05/2014 22:50

The police will be there soon. Well done for calling them. It's the right thing to do.

hakunafrittata · 18/05/2014 22:51

Here for you OP, please return. X

hakunafrittata · 18/05/2014 22:52

X post, good for you x

pictish · 18/05/2014 22:52

You poor thing OP. xxx

antimatter · 18/05/2014 22:52

Well done OP for ringing Police.