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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I'm a fucking mug

309 replies

ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:02

Dh, who I have posted about before (name changed) has just fucking grabbed me again and bruised my neck and given me a fat lip. This is after hitting me around the face with cushions after I warned him about touching me and throwing my keys at me hard.

All he has done all day is argue with me and scream at me and ruined my plans with my children. One min he's all apologetic and then he's a nasty cunt when he realises it doesn't wash with me anymore.

I have asked him to leave, so many times I've lost count but he won't go. He refuses. I'm going to have to leave tomorrow with my children :(

OP posts:
teaandthorazine · 18/05/2014 22:13

Why, what does he do?

He means his career will be over if his work find out he's a violent bully who beats up his wife?

Honestly OP, I know it's scary but really, you have no choice but to call the police. This situation will only continue, and get worse.

MaryWestmacott · 18/05/2014 22:13

Call the police now! they will remove him. And say you will press charges, and do it. He'll do it again, and again, and again. This is it, you don't have to leave tonight, they will remove him. Then who do you have in real life you can call and tell them what he has done? Get them round after the police.

Just do it, you aren't safe in the bathroom. Get on the phone to the police and get him out.

FunnyFoot · 18/05/2014 22:13

You know what you have to do OP. Calling the police is the safest option.

Joules68 · 18/05/2014 22:13

Just do it

Your dc are in the house.... Ss will be involved anyway if your neighbours call thd police or your dc mention this in school

irrationalme · 18/05/2014 22:13

He's ruining his own career,please phone police and get him out. If you can't phone message someone who can on your behalf

BillyBanter · 18/05/2014 22:13

He will leave if you call the police.

If you are not able to call the police from the bathroom pm one of us or email a friend and ask them to call them.

Original poster
ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:13

I'm phoning womens aid tomorrow first thing when he goes to work. I've told him I won't be here when he gets back, can they help that quickly?

OP posts:
tribpot · 18/05/2014 22:13

You're deliberately shutting off avenues of support. You won't call the police because it will involve Social Services again. But without them you have sod all chance of getting him out of the house. A visit from social services is better for your children than witnessing prolonged domestic abuse.

MaryWestmacott · 18/05/2014 22:14

If he was worried about his career, he wouldn't have hit you. It's not your job to protect him from the fall out from his actions.

Badvoc · 18/05/2014 22:14

Your poor children :(

Joules68 · 18/05/2014 22:14

Op... Are you listening?

PollyCazaletWannabe · 18/05/2014 22:14

Please call the police OP. We are all here holding your hand x

BillyBanter · 18/05/2014 22:15

Don't tell him of your plans to leave, he may try to stop you.

MaryWestmacott · 18/05/2014 22:15

Do it now. call the police now. Stop helping him abuse you.

SoberMe · 18/05/2014 22:16

You will probably back track tomorrow - you need to do this now! You won't feel so adamant in the morning. Call women's aid now maybe?

forumdonkey · 18/05/2014 22:17

Why won't you phone the police OP? I know it seems scary but its not as scary as your abusive DH for you and your DC's.

I have been exactly where you are and i phoned the police so I know what I am talking about. You will have peace tonight and if they did what they did to my exh, he had bail conditions and he's never lived in this house since that day.

teaandthorazine · 18/05/2014 22:17

OP, if you call the police now, all this could stop. It could just stop, forever.

Original poster
ReallySadFace · 18/05/2014 22:18

Are they open now? I can't call them right now, I'm in the bathroom with an iPad. I haven't got a mobile phone and he has unplugged the landline.

I don't want to backtrack, I finally feel like I can go through with it. Believe me I've thought about it many times. But I told him tonight whilst we were arguing, if he touched me then that would be it. And I meant it. My children do deserve better.

OP posts:
Fontella · 18/05/2014 22:19

Yes OP you are a mug.

You know what you have to do and are making excuses as to why you can't do it.

Who cares what he texts or says - it's his actions that are the issue. He is a violent abuser. Call the police. Now.

forumdonkey · 18/05/2014 22:20

With respect what can womens aid do now in this moment even if their phones are manned? The police can do something for you now. Please find the strength to dial 999 OP. I know you're scared but it is a relief when they arrive not as scary as the thought of doing it.

Handywoman · 18/05/2014 22:20

Your poor children are upstairs probably petrified. Please protect them. On your iPad pls message a friend and get them to ring 999

DontPutMeDownForCardio · 18/05/2014 22:20

Social services need to be involved to support your children. Otherwise the police wouldn't report it. Take the help they offer you.

tribpot · 18/05/2014 22:20

If you have no way to call the police someone needs to call for you. Can you message a friend?

EverythingCounts · 18/05/2014 22:21

OP you need to call the police. Use the iPad to message someone you know and ask them to call 999 for you because you're trapped in your bathroom. Don't give his career a second thought, he's fucked that up himself.

forumdonkey · 18/05/2014 22:22

If you truly believe your DC's deserve better phone 999 now. Please stop making excuses and just do it.

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