Is it just me or is this email nasty?

[whichoneofusisnuts]

NC for this as it's embarrassing / personal.

New BF. He's great. Together a few weeks only. He's attentive and clearly turned on by me, but he wants to hold off full sex until he feels deeper emotions, but we "do stuff".

So anyway, "sex moments" can be a bit fumbly and I feel a bit awkward. He seems very full on but sort of holds back from full intercourse. He emailed me today and said he had to relieve himself at home and it was so frustrating. I sent a very sweet reply saying I missed him and wanted to see him tonight and added on the end "as for the rest it's your fault for being frigid".

I said this as a joke, but he sent an absolutely awful reply which said:

Hmmm, with a response like that, reckon I'll stay home tonight.

Not sure how you can think that calling someone 'frigid' is exactly going to help matters but, tbh, I don't actually recall you doing that much to help things anyway. Tends to be the case that you do a little then just try and sit on me regardless.

Not arguing. Think this one's best left well alone
x

AIMU or was this a nasty reply to a (perhaps insensitive) joke? Can someone tell me how they would interpret this?

I feel really pissed off, but also not sure if I maybe touched a sore spot. That said his reply seemed like a 5 year old child and it was quite spiteful.

Sounds like you are well shot. Delete and block his number.

I have to admit, a part of me do find this amusing, but you have to stay strong, because it will get petty. I think he must have thought that when you guys want to be friends, then you do want to be friends, rather than a polite way out of this. I agree, block the number, and do not respond to it. Cos it will open the can of worms again.

I also do not hate you either. I have also encountered pretty embarrassing situations too. Of which I won't go into details, but yes, block. :)

Twat. And a manipulative twat at that. And if he doesn't have a sense of humour there is literally no point.

Send him back
"You clearly don't have a sense of humour so I can't be arsed with you"

I went out with a guy for a few weeks. First night we were due to spend together her couldn't maintain his position iykwim.

I was ok about it, it happens, not that big a deal really. Nerves right?

We were texting afterwards and I said to him that I missed him, every inch of him (he was tall) then I did a little

The other factor that enters one's head is even if he were normal, nice, not manipulative and weird, why should we bother to fight for someone whose bits don't work, what's the point of that?

Harsh perhaps, but life's too short to settle for a life of frustration and resentment.

I know that's an awful story Hissy but I spat my cereal out at the

Nuts, you sound really cool!! I like your humour and the way you have taken all this criticism on the chin is pretty cool too!!

You'll meet someone who completely gets you, no worries there!

Sorry but hahahahaha @ the

Yeah the guy sounds like a nutter. You shouldn't be getting this kind of crap 2 weeks into a relationship. Jeez you'd jump your lady every chance you get when only a few weeks into a relationship! He's an odd n. Stop texting him and forget about it.

I don't think this guy is that dramatic and defensive...

I did stupidly miss the red flag when a guy once lied to me about his age. He was in his early 30s, and he told me that he was 25, and that I looked 24, (when really I was actually 34). I turned to my right and asked how old I looked to this random girl, and she then also said to me that she too lied about her age and lowered it by 3 years. We were all in this bar for salsa you see. I thought I was losing the plot, cos I said my real age, and then the guy fell off the arm of the sofa that he was sitting on in this bar that we were in. Weird people.

This is "modern dating". I do not think that you missed very much in the past 15 years Which.

My ex husband is becoming more attractive by the minute.

In my foray into online dating I have so far had one who invited me to a tractor slideshow slideshow, another with the nickname "big12inchdonger" and I had a great Skype "date" with a very, very attractive Italian guy which was going swimmingly well until he stood up and showed me his cock!

Spat out my cereal then too!

Tractor slideshow?? Oooh....hunky farmer!!!

Lol. Well, at least be thankful that you didn't get a 24 year male bisexual who wanted to know how he can find a "woman" like me after I rejected him and said he was too young for me. (What we he thinking ? I want children. I'm 36, going near towards 40.) Or another female bisexual who was 25 and was coyly flirting with me cos I had "big eyes". (What the hell, don't freak me out.)

I think I need to change my photo too. Welcome to online "dating".

dump him. you both deserve better.

Gosh op, I have to say, the three things you have recorded saying would probably get my back up too! It sounds like you and he aren't all that suited; your bluntness plus his sensitivity = sure disaster!

Come and join the dating thread OP. Your resilience will stand you in good stead at least!

At least it only lasted a few weeks. I posted a lot about someone I met online who turned out to be an emotionally manipulative abuser and I didn't see it! Only problem is that it took falling in love and four months to realise

I do think from your Op that your guy sounded controlling too.

I think OD is like real life, but more intense. Plenty of nutters but some good ones too (I hope)!

Stinky. He was sadly not a hunky farmer. He was in sandals with socks on in his pic.

Maisie, no, no, no! The 23 / 24 year olds are the best. You can have an awful lot of fun. They start off all bravado. What you do is to start telling them that you're too old for them, and when they protest move on to telling them about your stretch marks, then your caesarian scar, then mention that you have a few random hairs growing out of your chin that you keep need to be plucking out every day and slowly it completely ruins the older woman fantasy permanently. No offence to older women, who are probably not all al battle worn as me :D Maybe I have too much time on my hands....

Not had a bisexual yet though .

thanks, I will come on the dating thread! Probably a better use of my energy than the actual dating part!

There are some real odd jobs out there. I met someone who at the time was 33, a virgin, never kissed anyone, disliked touching his willy or it being touched and still lived at home with his parents (they had a little bell they would ring when meal time was ready for him).

He was looking for a sex teacher. I declined the offer, he was very odd and hell if he cant stand having his penis touched then how the hell did he think sex worked.

Bonkers

Oh god! I actually can't read anymore - I don't understand why you are being pulled apart OP?

He sent you a shitty email, which you took in jest, so sent a jokey reply back. You didn't bite his emotional carrot and play the fixer but played him back as an equal, he got pissed off and tried to beat you with his emotional stick even more - you got confused and came to MN to talk it through (I don't see this as drip feeding either?)

I would say two things to you:

1. Treat every date as if assessing a friendship with a few male friend. If you wouldn't accept it from you best friend you shouldn't accept it from your DP

2. Never change who you are to please others. You are who you are, thick skin, jokey. Whatever. It is you, there is only one you - cherish it.

Sorry autocorrect fail! "Few male" is supposed to read "female"

Definite Team OP here! Surprised at some of the other responses. And agree you've been a real sport on this thread

I come from a cultural, religious background where sex before marriage was frowned upon, so yes, I knew a lot of 'frigid' types who weren't keen on full sex very soon.

What people would do was just date "out", so make sure they weren't getting to the making out stage. Like AwfulDaughter said earlier, if you want an emotional connection, you actively create a dating situation to build one: you don't just talk about it like its some abstract test every woman has to pass.

What they WOULDN'T do was get to the "heavy making out in someones room" stage, then pull back at the last minute, and present it like their genitalia was a major prize that needed to be won, and wooed. That's just weird game playing.

I think the wankman basically wants to 'pretend' he doesn't have ED issues. So he wants a woman to make believe this pseudo sex life is actually all down to him not wanting to finish, not him not being able to finish. He texted you that he had to finish himself off, but no proof of it: I'm 50/50 as to whether or not that was even true!

It just comes across as drama queenish and to basically dragging you into a situation - very soon - where you have to emotionally comfort and do a PR job for his malfunctioning penis. I don't know what he's expecting, but yes, avoid, avoid, avoid!