Would anyone else love to have an affair, but don't have the opportunity/guts etc???

[Jazzi]

Just following on from the other threads?????

Plenty of opportunity

But happily married thank you. I can't ever imagine another man touching me the way dh does.

I'm not sure this is particularly appropriate Jazzi....

Why???

Why the hell would you want to have an affair??? It doesn't take guts to have an affair, it takes a complete disregard of other people's feelings (ie your partner and children)

Because today - due to other threads, there are lots of people who are feeling bad about themselves with regard to having cheated, and even more posters reading about it who have had partners cheating on them. Its quite a sore subject for alot of people today, thats all. Just my opinion

personally i think if ur in a relationship, you should not cheat full stop other wise whats the point of being in a relationship!, why not be single if thats what u want! think that cheating resorts to a hell of a lot of hurt and pain for all involved and can never be repaired, i do not think it is big or clever and think it must be horrendous for the person who is being cheated upon! just my rant im bored !

Agree QV, 'tis a tad insensitive topic to be starting atm.

Definitely not appropriate - a very sore subject at the moment. And also it's worth bearing in mind that many of us have husbands and long-term partners - the kind of person you're saying you "would love to have an affair with, but don't have the opportunity".

SoupDragon is right - affairs aren't brave things to have, they're not things to congratulate yourself on or aspire to have; they are selfish acts that wreck lives.

A friend of mine is having an affair with a married man, also an aquaintance of mine; she is so convinced that no-one knows yet at the same time she is going out of her way to make sure that people pick up on the clues because she's proud of it. And it makes me want to shake her by the shoulders and tell her to grow up and find a man of her own, not try and take one away from his wife and 2 year old daughter.

Affairs are nothing to gloat over, and nothing to take lightly.

Just for the record I would never have an affair, can't say that I am in a happy relationship, but would never go with someone else because of that. Just wondered if you ever felt the need for something different?? Didn't mean to cause any offence. SORRY!!!!

Blimey poor Jazzi got more reprimamds than someone avtually having an affair.

Bloody hell

i was just sharing my viewpoint on it! well if george clooney asked i might be tempted lol!!!!!!!!!

I dont think anyone has reprimanded Jazzi Northerner, just pointed it that its not particularly appropriate. Hardly a reprimand.

IMO, it takes guts to walk away from an affair before it actually becomes one IYWIM.

What makes me sad is that you can all be so sanctimonius about affairs, but some of you must be having affairs, or contemplating it!!

Wow, and LieselVonTrapp isn't even on the thread!

OK. Reprimand too strong a word. Just felt it was a bit harsh on Jazzi tbh.

erm no. if i wanted to cheat on DP i would consider my life to be pretty messed up and i would sort out any issues i had. i know i would because i've spent a few years in a loveless marriage and considered cheating only once. once was enough to know that my marriage wasn't working.

I have got far too much to loose ....

If I felt the need for an affair ... that would mean that I am ot getting the love and attention ....

rather than go looking for it elsewhere .... I'd give him a good old talking to and tell him to get his act together ( or rather a sensitive heart to heart ) .... much less hassle / effort and every one wins in the end ....

oh hell preview .... lose

I wouldnt cheat on my boyfriend, or on anyone else for that matter
If I stopped loving someone, Id leave. Simple as that. Regardless of whether we had children,a mortgage, friends in common or a joint bloody pension

But everyone is different.

I thought Id hate women who had affairs with married men, after what happened to me, but all I feel for nailpolish is support and hope that she comes to her senses

That's a bit of a sweeping statement Jazzi.

Have you considered that those of us who appear "sanctimonious" are actually telling the truth ?

I'd guess that anyone currently having one, or considering, probably won't want to shout about it.

i contemplate having an affair all the time.
but
the consequences of it are too big to consider actually going ahead with one. so i make sure i never ever am in the situation where i could get the oppurtunity.

i have opportunities
I have plenty guts

but why woudl i want to push the destruct button
on my family???

It takes more guts IMHO to try to make an unhappy relationship better. Or have the honesty to end it and start again.

You asked teh question Jazzi. Please dont call me sanctimonious because you dont like my answer

PMSL moretea...

Northerner, I think Jazzi knows I meant no malice....same as others..

I got married wanting it to last but thinking that a no strings attached sex only affair would be ok if the opportunity presented itself - as long as my husband never found out, and whilst there were no kids in the picture.
So I did have an affair - it never stood a chance of not getting emotional - and it is the only thing in my life that I regret and feel shame to the bottom of my soul for. I was an absolute selfish bitch throughout, and the other party was a complete selfish bastard too.
I told all to my husband and we have worked hard for the past three years to repair the damage and solve problems that couldn't be before. But whenever an affair storyline comes on the telly, or friends mention affairs an uncomfortable silence comes between us and we both know what the other is thinking of.
Never once has my husband thrown this back in my face when arguing about other matters, but my guilt will be my cross to bear and is well deserved.
I have hurt my husband in a way that can never be completely erased and it was only at that point where I was about to lose him that you realise what truly matters and doesn't matter. The grass is never greener. The lover seems so wonderful but if you lived with him I'd bet he'd also leave his underpants on the bedroom floor and pee on the toilet edge sometimes.
I genuinely regret my affair and would plead with anybody not to do the same. If you don't love your partner and feel the initial love can't be rekindled, then be brave and finish the relationship and find love in the right way.