Today I did something truly terrible

[Holyshit58]

And I am totally horrified at my actions.

DH & I have been having marriage problems for the last year. I love him very much but I find him very controlling.
He's very critical of me & I feel like I can't do anything right.
For example, I couldn't order the curry last night, I had to wait for him to get in from work. Obviously I'm unable to use the phone- I'll only do it wrong.

Fast forward to today, we were going out together, I was supposed to drive, prearranged. I could see how difficult it was for him, noone ever does anything as well as he does.
DH proceeded to tell me slow- fast- watch your speed etc. this was continual he then told me where I should get off so we could enjoy a cup of coffee. When I dutifully pulled of he then directed me where to park

I expressed how unhappy I was with the constant commands & he apologised but got cross with me, he then told me to shut up as he'd apologised.

Once we got inside I went to find a table after 5 min DH hadn't joined me. I went looking for him and he was sat elsewhere eating & enjoying his coffee. The silent protest of a manchild.

That's when I did it.

I went.

I left him 60km from home at a service station.

Holy shit.

I don't blame you.

Does he have money/ a phone?

Bloody good for you !!

He sounds a nightmare

What will you do now?

I think he deserved it; I feel like this was the last straw for you

And how do you feel now?

I would have done the same.

Have you spoken to him?

He's at a service station, he can hitch-hike.

I don't blame you either. What are you going to do now? Please don't go back for him.

60km - how many miles is that? I hope it's lots

When I got home I realised he didn't have his phone.

He does have his wallet.

I did go back for him but he was gone, never one to miss the opportunity to be self righteous.

He's still not home yet ...

Oh OP, I did laugh at that, I am so sorry! Not because you did something awful, but I would have done exactly the same. I read your whole post thinking "I would have bloody left him here!" and you did! I can only imagine how frustrated you must have felt, and I think when you are controlled and criticised to that extent you do just "snap" in a way.

Has he contacted you? Noticed you've gone? Most importantly, will you be safe today? He treats you awfully op, please know that.

The ONLY thing wrong with what you've done is that you won't be able to see his reaction when he finally realises that he's been an arse once too often. You will just have to imagine the slowly dawning realisation...

Has he a phone ? If he has, just go home and let him sort it out. Unless that is unsafe for you.

You should not tolerate anyone treating you like that

Good for you

Are you sure he hadn't gone to find a table and was waiting for you to join him?

Don't blame you though. Sounds a charmer. Will you be alright when he finally makes it back home?

Good for you!

Well done OP.

Lots of x-posts, sorry OP.

Pack a bag, look for a nice hotel, and be ready to walk out if he becomes abusive when he gets back. Or if you both just need some space.

Or pack him a bag, and tell him to piss off.

Well done, I don't blame you. You deserve a better life than living with a controlling fuckwit

I think that was you snapping. I guess you'll end up going back to get him, and give him a lift home before deciding where you go from here.

I wish I had to balls to do things like that.

What are you expecting to happen when he eventually gets home?

Cross posted. Ah well, he's a big boy

It could
be relationship Over time, but I would see that as a good outcome

If you feel scared go to family/friend's. The backlash could be nasty (he treats you in a horrible way, that's not equal. That is controlling.)