Today I did something truly terrible

[Holyshit58]

And I am totally horrified at my actions.

DH & I have been having marriage problems for the last year. I love him very much but I find him very controlling.
He's very critical of me & I feel like I can't do anything right.
For example, I couldn't order the curry last night, I had to wait for him to get in from work. Obviously I'm unable to use the phone- I'll only do it wrong.

Fast forward to today, we were going out together, I was supposed to drive, prearranged. I could see how difficult it was for him, noone ever does anything as well as he does.
DH proceeded to tell me slow- fast- watch your speed etc. this was continual he then told me where I should get off so we could enjoy a cup of coffee. When I dutifully pulled of he then directed me where to park

I expressed how unhappy I was with the constant commands & he apologised but got cross with me, he then told me to shut up as he'd apologised.

Once we got inside I went to find a table after 5 min DH hadn't joined me. I went looking for him and he was sat elsewhere eating & enjoying his coffee. The silent protest of a manchild.

That's when I did it.

I went.

I left him 60km from home at a service station.

Holy shit.

[Whereisegg]

Don't you dare apologise!

[KaFayOLay]

Good for you, I admire your chutzpah!
Hope he doesn't give you a hard time.

[Holyshit58]

I suspect he's going to come home as late as possible via the pub.

I just wish he'd come home & I could get it over with.....

And no, he will not see any of it as his responsibility, he's very important didn't you know?

He doesn't have relationship problems with anyone else, only me, therefore it's always all my fault.

[StampyIsMyBoyfriend]

I would pack a bag, and stay in a hotel for the night.

[insancerre]

good for you
but good luck for when he gets in
and do not apologise

[RedRoom]

Totally agree with goldmandra: he deliberately tried to upset and humiliate you by behaving like a spoiled child and leaving you to sit alone. You don't have time to engage in petty little mind games and power struggles like that. If he treats you with no respect, return that treatment. Hopefully the penny will drop that he can't behave as he pleases towards his wife.

[CarolineKnappShappey]

Well then, enjoy having house to yourself. Or go out. Watch your favourite film. He just wants you to stew, so don't.

[PoppadomPreach]

You were not terrible, you were amazing. He absolutely deserved that.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Do NOT apologise. I don't care what he says or does you did nothing, repeat NOTHING wrong!!!

Chuck him out!!

[Cigarettesandsmirnoff]

holy I would have done the same. I'd be really tempted to lock the door so when he finally shows up he can't even get in.

Do not apologise for this.

I feel sad though that your letting this bully, treat you like this. Can't even phone for a bloody take away ? He is bulldozing through your self esteem.

How old are you? Any dc?

[VodkaRevelation]

I'm sorry, I laughed as I read you had left him there. You utter hero!

It sounds as if he deserved it completely. Good job.

[MisForMumNotMaid]

Use this time and the momentum of control you've taken to decide what you want. Don't be sorry for him walking off and having a man sulk.

He's a grown man, he's got money, he's not your problem for a few hours.

[Holyshit58]

We have 2 dc who are away staying with family for 1 week, thank god....I am older than 35 but younger than 40

[InspirationFailed]

I have done something similar when I was with ex, he had made me cry for some reason whilst we were in the car (he was driving). He was always giving me orders, saying I was an embarrassment, critsing me etc. We were on our way to his mothers and he pulled up outside and told me to sort my face out before coming in. He carried on in and I got out if the car, took our baby from the back seat and left! I went and got on a bus into town and had lunch and did some shopping. No idea how he explained to his mum why we had disappeared, we were meant to be there for dinner...!

[AnnieLobeseder]

Well done! Please stay strong, don't apologise when he gets home. He should be grovelling for having driven you to such action.

I hope this is a catalyst for a positive and lasting change in your relationship. It definitely needs it.

[dreamingbohemian]

I would have done the same thing

But I have a feeling he will make you pay for this for a long time, and you should probably start thinking about whether your relationship is in fact over

He sounds awful and I hope you find the strength to get out

[WipsGlitter]

DP does the driving thing. It's v annoying! Agree he wants you to stew so get busy or go out!

[ivykaty44]

ha blood ha

[Wittsend13]

Well done Op he sounds exactly like my ex. I wish I had your balls things would have been a lot different if I had! Don't apologize this isn't your fault

[Holyshit58]

You're right dreaming, he won't let it lie. Everything is a pissing competition with him. He won't be thinking about how desperate I am at the moment to do such a thing. He'll be more angry for himself and desperate to teach me a lesson....which is why he will drag it out for as long as possible

[Weliveinabeautifulworld]

If he will be coming home drunk via the pub, either:

1. Make sure you can lock the doors so he is unable to get in
   
2. Don't be home! Nothing good comes from a drunken argument!
   
   Btw, Good for you!!! He totally deserved what you did!

[Horsemad]

I haven't read any of your other posts, but why are you with this man?

I really really hope this is a wakeup call for both him and you and tha either he changes his attitude quicksmart, or you decide to end the marriage.

Good Luck OP, you took some control back

[Blu]

OP, if you think he has gone to the pub, just get on with your day.

Go out and do something nice. Be independent - you left him there fore a reason - because he was being an unpleasant, critical, belittling arse who was ruining your day.

Don't let him ruin your day eve in his absence.

And if he kicks off be very matter of fact and direct: 'You went off and had your coffee and ignored me so I went. I was simply re-paying the compliment. What did you expect me to do? '. If he shouts and yells just say 'you were very bad mannered and unpleasant. Why should I drive you about when you are so rude and contemptuous towards me?'.

Or tell him there are 2 ways to look at this: either he can relax and laugh about it, having accepted that he went to far, or he can take you seriously and realise that you have had enough: enough for one car journey and enough for one life.

[Beastofburden]

Bwhhahaaaahaaa. This is what we threaten the kids with and never actually do.

Except you are sitting on tenterhooks, OP, waiting like a good teenaged girl for him to phone you. Don't do that. Find something interesting to do. Because he will probably not come home at all tonight and will be doing it to wind you up.