Today I did something truly terrible

[Holyshit58]

And I am totally horrified at my actions.

DH & I have been having marriage problems for the last year. I love him very much but I find him very controlling.
He's very critical of me & I feel like I can't do anything right.
For example, I couldn't order the curry last night, I had to wait for him to get in from work. Obviously I'm unable to use the phone- I'll only do it wrong.

Fast forward to today, we were going out together, I was supposed to drive, prearranged. I could see how difficult it was for him, noone ever does anything as well as he does.
DH proceeded to tell me slow- fast- watch your speed etc. this was continual he then told me where I should get off so we could enjoy a cup of coffee. When I dutifully pulled of he then directed me where to park

I expressed how unhappy I was with the constant commands & he apologised but got cross with me, he then told me to shut up as he'd apologised.

Once we got inside I went to find a table after 5 min DH hadn't joined me. I went looking for him and he was sat elsewhere eating & enjoying his coffee. The silent protest of a manchild.

That's when I did it.

I went.

I left him 60km from home at a service station.

Holy shit.

I have.

DH was being a total arse on the way to visit some of my relatives. I stopped the car and told him to get out. He did. (Still baffles me, that). I drove off and visited with DDs, had to make some excuse to my aunt about why DH wasn't there.

He couldn't believe I would stick up for myself like that against his complaining and insulting.

He asked for it.

OP you are my heroine
(maybe one day my turn will come)

Brilliant, well done OP! I did something similar to a boyfriend once but he was only a couple of miles from home. He did not of course realise the error of his ways.

You know what? Every one has their limit, you've reached yours.

It will force the situation to be talked about, if nothing else!

It's good enough for him rude old sod!

Bloody brilliant! V proud of u OP. :)

Beautiful, Holy!

Serves the manchild right.

Absolutely fantastic, stupid arse deserved it.

Really hope that you're not getting a load of grief from him now though.

Ok, when he comes back, turn the tables, be cross with him for buggering off!

Tell him you looked high and low, and were forced to go home when you realised he'd gone...

If he argues with you, he'll have to reveal he hid..

There were many times with my ex that I wanted to do the same thing. Just leave him there and go jome

Well done.

Fantastic. Why didn't I do that all those years ago?

Well, either your marriage is now over or maybe he will improve.

Um... you did something truly awesome today!

Make a break. You don't deserve this crap.

secretly hoping he's in a trunk somewhere on the way over the border

Oh op, its probably wrong, but bloody well done to you. He sounds like a shit head of the highest order.

If he starts on that you treated him badly remind yourself that he quite deliberately humiliated you publicly by leaving you sitting in the cafe waiting for something that wasn't going to happen. You gave him a dose of his own medicine.

I'd love to see the CCTV of him realising you'd gone.

If he cannot use this as an opportunity to reflect on his own actions at all you need to consider whether your relationship has a future. You couldn't have given him a stronger indicator of how unhappy you are.

I think you should be proud of yourself. Nobody would be able to take constant criticism.

I suspect he'll either stay somewhere else tonight without phoning you to try and teach you a lesson and/or come home and accuse you of being a mad woman. Don't feel guilty, stand firm and tell him he has serious issues and needs to get some help. Whatever you do, don't let him turn himself into the injured party. You've taken the first step, keep going!

Like Hissy's idea. You wandered off. You didn't trust me to drive the car without your instructions...I assumed you'd hitched a lift called a taxi home. So I drove home.

Oh you know, I love this, I had to come back again and say you're bloody great. Do not back down to his nasty controlling behavior when he returns.

I don't blame you, if I were you I would see if you have a friend you can stay with as he may well be in stinking mood when he gets home and a bit of cooling off space would be good. I know you are prob anxious about his attitude when he gets back but you do need to try and get him to listen to how you feel. Good luck

Can you possibly ask the cafe owner for a copy of their CCTV? I'd love to see it.

Hope this is enough to make you leave the bastard for good.

I'd be tempted to call the police, report him missing!

You are a superstar! Just don't go and ruin it by apologising. He needs to learn to zip it if he wants to stay married. Good luck when he finally returns. Respect

Well done you, he sounds like an arse.

Yes - MrsC is right - do not apologise. His behaviour was unacceptable, and you did absolutely the right thing!

Well done!!

Now don't take his crap when he arrives back. Don't apologise!

You don't have to put up with his emotionally abusive behaviour.