Beyond pissed off. Do I LTB??? Wwyd?

[madcatlady444]

My DH is in an am-dram group, last night of show last night, his entire family staying at our house to watch the show. He hasn't come home from the after-show party, it's the next morning now and isn't answering his phone, but can manage the occasional text. I am so angry I am shaking, what do I tell his family?? Everyone is going to be getting up soon, I am so embarrassed. He's expecting me to make lunch for his whole family (10 of us in total) on fucking Mother's Day but he hasn't come home & is too cowardly to answer his phone. He says in his text he is with other people in the group, but I don't really care. He is just taking the piss, and i have had enough. I really really want to LTB, wwyd? I would really appreciate your advice mumsnetters, am I overreacting??

I'd go with 'I'm really sorry but as husband doesn't seem to want to be here with you all, probably best you all go home after breakfast as I have got work to do. Thanks'.

at least his family will see him for what he is. thats a positive spin on it?

How utterly pathetically immature (at best) not to dare answer his phone but be prepared to send texts. What is he, 12?

I'm afraid that not only would I be LTB (if this is recurrent behaviour) but I would also be questioning whether or not one of the am-dram people is having rather an extra specially dramatic relationship on the side with him.

Men (and women) have hobbies they get totally caught up in. Dp, is a football freak He plays it, 3 times a week. When he's not playing it, he's watching it. He watches it out, with his mates, because I want him to.

He doesn't not come home after a particularly important match/tournament/celebration/drowning of sorrows.

Don't cover for him at all and don't be embarrassed. He's e one who should be embarrassed. Good for his family to see what he is like.

And yes, to what Pag says.

Get rid of the family as soon as possible, and sit the fucker down and make him talk to you.

Do not, I repeat, do not even think of covering for him by saying he's ill . Make breakfast for his family and explain calmly what has happened, completely truthfully. Do your DC get on with his family - would it be an option for you to leave them together and go out and have a nice day on your own to get your thoughts together? Only if you want to, of course - take the DC with you if you prefer.
What atrocious behaviour, what a dick. What show's he in anyway - some West End production/Broadway hit?! I imagine not. Twat. You, by the way, are not overreacting in the slightest. I'm spitting feathers for you.

I agree with the pp who said time to call his bluff.

Even if you won't divorce him, at least let him think you will. Ask him to go. Talk about solicitors. Let him realise how seriously you're taking this...

You are not over reacting. Have you got all the lunch stuff ready? Ie have you already bought it?

I'd be really tempted to give him a big kiss, breezy thanks for agreeing to cook for family as it's Mother's Day, and you'll try and complete all the work this morning - then disappear!

Then when everyone's gone kick him out if that's what you've decided to do.

Meant when he walks through the front door. It'll also throw if you act so calmly.

I agree with Pagwatch, be calm but honest. He sounds like an arse.

As you were thinking about ltb anyway, for me this would be the final straw. My only consideration would be how to maintain a reasonably dignified approach today for the sake of the DC. But yes, LTB

I am prepared to bet any money that your DH will roll in just as he is expecting lunch on the table.

I agree with other posters. Get breakfast made, explain whats happened, go out and turn off your phone. To Hell with him.

On bloody Mothers Day FFS. What a selfish bastard.

I'm sorry OP, I have been here too and you deserve better.

And yes, LTB.

If you cook the meal and cover his ass then you are enabling him. Take yourself out, if the rest of the family want to join you then let them.

He phoned I yelled, he yelled that he was entitled because he had worked so hard on play!!! I hung up, couldn't listen to any more. Told daughter & sil

What a selfish git! Sorry but he is.

He is a cunt, so sorry he has done this to you

And yes, I would LTB.

He really doesn't get it, does he. I know your day is probably shot to shit, but I hope you do have some kind of decent day.

Oh, and has he actually told you where he is yet? Or when he's coming home?

Well guess what, you're entitled not to put up with this.

His play has nothing to do with his commitments to his family. He really is completely selfish. How did SIL react?

It is bloody rude
Never mind on Mother's Day and the fact his family are all there
His thinking is very entitled

It's not fair at all. I have been in a similar place. The best thing do do is yes definitely no covering up. I did covering up for a long time. No need and makes you look like the unreasonable one! If you want to cook for family fair enough, but get them all to help. Detach from him.

If you're serious about separating, sounds like this is the straw that broke the camel's back.

Sorry you are going through this. It's hard. But stay strong and try not to get into arguments if poss. His thinking will be twisted the night after a skinful!

What an arsehole. I would be out of that house ASAP and leave them all to it. Then kick his arse and throw him out.