Just found out my partner has been in prison

[Milly101]

We have just bought our first together after dating for 18 or so months, we were round at his brother and sils house for dinner a few nights ago and the conversation came around to the max Clifford trial and if he got found guilty how long his prison sentence would be, his brother then says to dp "you'd know all about that" dp laughed it of and changed the subject.
When we got back to my place I asked him what his brother had ment by that, it turns out he served a 3 year prison sentence in his early 20s(he is now 36 and never been in trouble since)
I'm shattered my thinking of him has changed, I can't work out if I have any right to de disappointed annoyed or upset.
Any thoughts would appreciated.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

The OP could be in Scotland. There's no charge of ABH or GBH in scots' law. That would explain the talk of council tax and payment in £s.

Someone could be charged with assault (to injury or to severe injury) rather than attempted murder for a 'bar fight gone wrong'. But a crucial difference between scots' law and English law would be that you can be charged with attempted murder in Scotland without their being any intent to kill; there only needs to be evidence of a a wilful or reckless disregard for the life of the potential victim.

Not sure it makes any difference here though, as the biggest issue is the lying about such a huge thing.

[MrsKermittSmith]

He is clearly not catch of the week is he!

[RedFocus]

The fact he didn't tell you at the beginning speaks volumes and he clearly had no intention of telling you either so yup that's a deal breaker for me.

[mammadiggingdeep]

Araminta....yes yes. Couldn't agree more.

Everyone is doing exactly what the op wanted. How many posts has she actually posted on this thread??? 3? 4?

She/he is too busy sitting back and enjoying the bun fight.

[Apocalypto]

A friend of mine married a man who, 18 months into the marriage, disclosed that he had a 17 year old son.

She divorced him.

Not only did he lie, but he lied about something that profoundly shapes a marriage, i.e. whether you want to have children with someone. He had already done so, but didn't think it worth mentioning.

Having a 17-year-old; having tried to murder someone - same thing.

[Beastofburden]

Having a 17-year-old; having tried to murder someone - same thing.

Good Mother's Day this morning, apop?

[Fusedog]

Sorry op deal braker for me regardless of what he done

Because it's the lies of course he would of had to involve a lot of people in it and it's a mager event in his life and he lied what elese is he not telling you has he chikdren out there been married before ECt it's the lies

[DirtyLittleSecrets]

Milly, my ex did kill someone. I went on to marry him and even though we're not together anymore, we are still friends and I trust him totally.

Want to know the difference between him and your guy though? He told me on our first date, told me exactly what happened, it was an accident (not one of these punching someone and them hitting their head type accidents though). I could sympathise, which people reading this might be shocked by but if I told the full story I think most would understand. He told me on that first date because he was ashamed, not a day went by when he didn't think about it, when he didn't re-live it and torture himself with it. He thought I had every right to know what he had done before I got involved with him, he certainly didn't "forget" about it. He never once, not one single time, joked about it or talk about it in a light hearted way, hell it almost destroyed him, and this was more than 10 years after it had happened.

My ex was not a violent man, he never hurt me, we argued at times sure, but I was never scared of him or worried that he might hurt someone else, he was a good man, and that's why he found it so hard to live with what he did,

You, I have to say, sound almost impressed by his actions, you come on here defending what he did when if he was truly remorseful he wouldn't even defend it himself. If he can "forget" what he did and see it as not even worth mentioning, then he IS NOT a good person. If you want to blind yourself to that fact, go right ahead, but it's only yourself you are cheating.

[kentishgirl]

well said, DLS.

[Bellwether]

I think that, under those new domestic violence laws where women can check up on partners, you need to go to the police and find out exactly what happened, to the last detail.

He "forgot"? 'Wiped it from his mind'? 'A bit out of hand?' Doesn't sound like a changed, remorseful man.