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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

soooo my husbands slept with someone else..

150 replies

Humbug0108 · 04/03/2014 17:13

that's it really, been together 8years married for nearly 2. have had a nice few Facebook messages from said skanky girls sent me photos and messages from the 2weeks that they've known each other for. sorry feel a bit disjointed at the moment

OP posts:
MildDrPepperAddiction · 04/03/2014 17:15

Oh dear humbug. I hope you are ok. Have you spoken to him about it yet? I hope you have someone to lean on in rl.

Northernlurker · 04/03/2014 17:17

Yikes. Ok well what do you want to do? Do you want to confront him? Do you want him out? Do you think you want to work through it? You have this information now but you don't HAVE to do anything with it.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/03/2014 17:17

Are you sure it's true? Why did she message you?

Original poster
Humbug0108 · 04/03/2014 17:17

just a bit numb, yes spoke to him I did say at least you could have gone with someone that can spell! I know its not really funny. going over my friends tonight, the girl has even lol and Smile in her messages to me then told me to bore off as i'm boring her and i'm a mug so that was nice of her too

OP posts:
CaptainHindsight · 04/03/2014 17:19

I'm sorry Humbug, its not very MN but (((hug)))

Is your H home?

Ludways · 04/03/2014 17:19

You'll have to talk to him straight away.

She sent you pictures on Facebook, klassy!

Finola1step · 04/03/2014 17:20

Oh Humbug. The only thing I can suggest is to post on the Relationships board. Lots of wise people who can give lots of good advice and hand holding. The next few days will be very tough as you hopefully find out the truth. Do you have support in rl?

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 04/03/2014 17:20

Perhaps you can block her so at least she's not bothering you at this point? (after copying all her messages and saving somewhere obviously)

CaptainHindsight · 04/03/2014 17:21

I did say at least you could have gone with someone that can spell!

^ Humour? In this situation Shock

Bloody hell Humbug you are one tough mother.
He is going to regret the day he crossed you isn't he?

Original poster
Humbug0108 · 04/03/2014 17:22

long backstory about him talking to other women but nothing actually inappropriate but I had a feeling with this one, asked her and got the whole lot from her this afternoon he has now confirmed it after initially lying. she's met him at work and out for drinks when he said he was at the gym and also slept with him twice. once on a night out that he had to walk back from as he said he lost his taxi money and had to walk home, he did walk home just from hers instead of town, so while I was ringing the hospital see if he has been admitted as he didn't come home he was actually walking back from hers

OP posts:
Original poster
Humbug0108 · 04/03/2014 17:24

I think i'm cracking jokes due to all the clichés if I don't laugh i'll cry and i'm currently making pancakes with our 6yr old, thanks everyone

OP posts:
Deerfromhell · 04/03/2014 17:25

I'm so sorry to hear. What is the matter with people? I would be tempted to say fuck off you skanky old dog hope I don't get syphalis then block her but ignore and block is probably better. Have you anyone you can confide in in RL who could support you? What a dickhead he is.

Northernlurker · 04/03/2014 17:28

Oh bloody hell that's not good is it. Do you reckon this was the first time he's actually cheated then?

Original poster
Humbug0108 · 04/03/2014 17:46

yeah I do believe its the first time but I guess no one can ever be 100% sure can they. going to see my friend in a min. all this for 2weeks in lust and for 2 shags Sad

OP posts:
Hedgehead · 04/03/2014 17:59

Jesus Humbug poor you... sometimes you have to despair at the human race that this stupid bloke has potentially lost a marriage and a DC for 2 weeks of nothing with some random person.

You are in shock, right now, but soon you will not be. And as soon as you come out of shock, I want you to make sure you see yourself as completely above these two stupid liars: mentally, emotionally, morally (and from the sound of it - aesthetically).

Northernlurker · 04/03/2014 18:00

What's his attitude now?

Original poster
Humbug0108 · 04/03/2014 18:02

he's sorry and wants to fix things, apparently he realised what a shit situation he had got himself into whilst doing the walk of shame home. you are all so wonderful and supportive by the way x

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 04/03/2014 18:04

Ok well at least he's sorry. Can he articulate how he came to do this?

ITCouldBeWorse · 04/03/2014 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 04/03/2014 18:05

He didn't think just prior to being stupid what a shit situation he would be getting into? It's kind of a no-brainer. Hmm He had to know at the time that it was stupid and risking his marriage, but he went ahead anyway.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 04/03/2014 18:06

And let's remember that

A- he didn't tell you - SHE told you. If she hadn't, you wouldn't know about it at all. Because... again... HE didn't tell you.

B- his initial reaction was to lie. Not to come clean and beg forgiveness. But to lie about it and deny it entirely.

struggling100 · 04/03/2014 18:10

What a selfish, stupid, shortsighted arse. He sounds like he richly deserves this Facebook woman... and you deserve so much better.

Original poster
Humbug0108 · 04/03/2014 18:13

oh no she doesn't want him anymore apparently she says I can keep him and we're both mugs, will answer other questions when I get to my friends, just leaving now x

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 04/03/2014 18:17

Oh Humbug....what a horrid situation for you. Awful way to find out but at least you have. No thanks to your pathetic husband. Normally there is only 'one walk of shame' Hmm

waltermittymissus · 04/03/2014 18:22

Oh he realised he wanted to fix things, did he?

Is that why it only happened once and why he told you about it straight away?

Oh wait....

This 'man' is an utter, utter bastard and has such little respect for you AND your ds that he shagged some skank twice then denied it?

I hope you're only going to your friends to get some bin liners for his shit.

I'm so sorry.

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