Please Help- I think I have hit rock bottom

[Blossomflowers]

Sorry I have so start a new thread, sure some kind soul will link for me, please?

But very briefly I asked my P of 20 years to leave a couple of weeks before Xmas, it has been a tough Xmas as NY as to be expected, I know if I was advising a friend I will tell her she was did the right thing.

But this weekend I think my mental state has taken an all time low, DS 13 is being very aggressive and difficult, normal teenage stuff all be it a bit extreme, I am struggling with him. I feel totally a drift.

I have just driven back from dropping DS off @ school and have sobbed uncontrollably and made myself sick from crying. I actually think nobody would really give a shit if I was not here. I am stuggling to see any point in anything. I have massive debts, not helping because it is hard to concentrate on work, I hate my beautiful house right now, just reminds me of us. I have a constant pain in my right temple. Eating really badly which is really not good for my diabetes.

I thought I was doing so well and this weekend it all seems to have come crashing down. I just want it all to end.

Sorry for the long rant but I need to sensible advise on how to get past all these horrible thoughts I am having.

Thanks GP wonder if the X ray will be helpful?

Glad car is back on the road again.

It does make you wonder, as my step dad said good job I was not gping in to have kidney removed.
I am in panic, have been invited out on a date eeeek.

Ooooh that is exciting!

Just remember, if you're expectations are that it is unlikely to be 'the one' and its a chance for you to have an evening out and some different company then, hopefully, you won't be disappointed!

Oh don't worry I am treating this with a very laid back attitude, intend to go out on lots of dates, meet some people and just see what happens. So much for my mums theory that woman of my age would find it difficult to find men interested in me. Ha!

When do you get some feedback about the xray?

Funny way to rebuild your DD's confidence . However you can see how things go, after all she met your stepdad, (don't scandalise her by even speculating about FWB!).

I hope some useful diagnosis comes from the X ray results.

I know donkey she is priceless, I think she is a bit bit jealous of me, we have had a funny relationship. FWB, oh yes I quite like that idea I really do have my pick, just taking it nice and easy. Still life in this old girl yet
Reckon it is going to be a week for results, I am trying to stay off painkillers and back on good old nurofen as making me feel so sick especially in the morning it seems to settle down if I can face a bit of breakfast.
Keep having annoying powercuts this morning grrr, am in the South West

She won't expect any updates then which is good. It really is your own business.

PS I normally find taking any medication is better after eating something than on an empty stomach (as if anyone cares!).

Maybe that is it donkey not very good ate eating atm, distinct lack of appetite and swallowing pills during the night leads to feeling ill in the morning.

Did you say you have diabetes, blossom? I seem to remember MIl saying when she was sick it could make her blood glucose go too high.

You are still taking your diabetes medicines aren't you? If you can't eat your usual food, try drinking juice or eating crackers or soup.

Maybe drink clear liquid like ginger ale. But eat or drink something with sugar in it if you have trouble keeping food down, because you still need calories. I don't know what brings on hypoglycemia but I'd worry if you can't eat enough.

Sorry to cluck.

I am diabetic but manage with Diet and metformin but have been pretty crap with managing since the split. But slowly getting back on track, taking metformin again and looking at better food choices when I do eat, promised Dr will go for my review once things have leveled out. DS said I have lost weight but told him not to worry, not skinny mini here. still a comfortable 12

My DS's have found out that I am playing around with old, older one quite indignant and 13 yr old thinks I am a saddo. I was going to keep it a secret but DS asked me outright so I told him the truth. Cannot lie. Still keeping painkillers down but sometimes becomes to unbearable. Am worried about numbness in fingers but suppose will have to wait for Xray results.

Interesting response from DS1, and wait for the backlash from DS2 when he mentions it to ex.

Of course you're neither a saddo nor beholden to ex.

Think DS1 is just trying to be the big man, so funny when your kids want to give you advise. Don't think X will give 2 hoots what I am doing tbh. He told me several times over the past couple of years he hopes I meet someone else, very odd thing to say but there you go, But then he is very odd.

FW just gave DS a lift home, did not take him anywhere, just a lift back, but everytime he sees him he gives DS £20.I know ds is smoking and trying weed, just feel fw is making it all to easy. If I say anything I will be the kill joy. Just can't win.

Would agreeing pocket money jointly funded by you both work? (Probably not as he is FW and will just go on giving £20s on top?) Money and teenagers is a thorny problem whatever the circumstances.

(And how is your social life? )

oh no point in even trying to discuss with FW. Thing is I have trouble getting DS to help but then idiot just hands over cash,!!!!!

Social life well have been speaking to a couple of guys but no one has made me think, wow. Just posted on the dating read actually about this maybe I am being to picky

Nice to have DS save for a specific article rather than see him squander it but how to encourage this subtly?

Easy to buy love.

Not picky btw it's being discerning. .

Well just been on a date, someone I have been chatting to on pof, met in country pub and chatted for 3 hours, all feels weird. He did not ask to meet again. All a bit sureal.
No idea where ds is supposed to be here

Was it good to get out and talk to someone ?

Nice to have an afternoon out!

Yes it was lovely actually, conversation flowed so easliy, he has just texted me to ask if i was ok. Just has a call from DS and he is ok.

That was considerate of DS and nice of your gentleman friend .

Just had a call from Physio, next available appointment March 13th, omg I can't even feel my fingers struggling to concentrate due to pain, seems to got worse this weekend. Thinking of paying and get in sooner but not sure physio is going to help as really know nothing about it.