Please Help- I think I have hit rock bottom

[Blossomflowers]

Sorry I have so start a new thread, sure some kind soul will link for me, please?

But very briefly I asked my P of 20 years to leave a couple of weeks before Xmas, it has been a tough Xmas as NY as to be expected, I know if I was advising a friend I will tell her she was did the right thing.

But this weekend I think my mental state has taken an all time low, DS 13 is being very aggressive and difficult, normal teenage stuff all be it a bit extreme, I am struggling with him. I feel totally a drift.

I have just driven back from dropping DS off @ school and have sobbed uncontrollably and made myself sick from crying. I actually think nobody would really give a shit if I was not here. I am stuggling to see any point in anything. I have massive debts, not helping because it is hard to concentrate on work, I hate my beautiful house right now, just reminds me of us. I have a constant pain in my right temple. Eating really badly which is really not good for my diabetes.

I thought I was doing so well and this weekend it all seems to have come crashing down. I just want it all to end.

Sorry for the long rant but I need to sensible advise on how to get past all these horrible thoughts I am having.

I would go to the physio Blossom - see what they say and recommend.

"I felt truly happy and contented" Fantastic! Really lovely to hear.

Keep your appointment Blossom.

I don't suppose for one minute amidst his self-inflicted discomfort ex managed to remember any money he owes you.

Ok will keep the appointment, something is still not right.
Thanks mistle I never thought I would feel such peace so soon, it's like I have suddenly come to life, am in a huge mess financially and putting a plan together to climb out of it. Actually donkey he paid some money into my account on Friday so fingers crossed that it does not bounce, apparently he could not pay too much as in arrears by 2 months in his rent, baffling

Oh well that's good I wondered if he was laying it on thick as in "Don't go on at me when I'm sooooo down".

Meanwhile you are going from strength to strength.

I am actually glad I was brave enough to face him yesterday, he looked awful ( all his own making) as I felt fab, lost weight, skin glowing everyone keeps telling me. I felt nothing but pity. So I know now 100% I am over him, there was always that nagging doubt

Did the 'feeling great' come before or after meeting him Blossom? It doesn't matter either way, but still interesting to know.

What's the situation on the energy bill - has he paid that off yet? And is the bill now in your name?

Well I have been feeling good anyway even thought the chap I was seeing briefly OLD has kind of fizzled did not bother me that much just thought well onwards and upwards, his loss. But in answer to your question mistle sorry waffling, I felt even better after seeing X, not sure why.
Think EON have been paid need to look into that actually

That's really good then - feeling good anyway - very positive - feeling better after seen FW - just confirmed that you've got him out of your system and no longer have any issues that prevent you moving on / seeing him etc. The fact that he looked so rough must have been icing on the cake

Ha ha! I had been told by a couple of people that he looked very bloated and not looking good, he is starting to get that ruddy complexion that drunks do.And blood shot eyes. I bet he is making a right tit of himself he is a terrible drunk, falls about and does crazy things, Still not my problem as a long as he stays off the booze when driving my sons.

That's the thing though, is he sober then? Has he only taken this dive since the two of you arranged for DS to stay over more often?

He has always had a big problem with drink, most of our relationship problems due to this really, I have no idea what he is doing, just that it seems to be taking it toll.

Now just had a very txt from calling me his pet name for me ( that's a new one) saying he may have to move ( Not paid rent so saw that one coming) and might not be able to have DS on Wend.

So that diary date has to move, pity. Whether or not you have dating plans it is good for you to have a break and nice for DS to see his dad.

I more concerned about him calling me his pet name for me lol