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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Please Help- I think I have hit rock bottom

513 replies

Blossomflowers · 06/01/2014 09:33

Sorry I have so start a new thread, sure some kind soul will link for me, please?

But very briefly I asked my P of 20 years to leave a couple of weeks before Xmas, it has been a tough Xmas as NY as to be expected, I know if I was advising a friend I will tell her she was did the right thing.

But this weekend I think my mental state has taken an all time low, DS 13 is being very aggressive and difficult, normal teenage stuff all be it a bit extreme, I am struggling with him. I feel totally a drift.

I have just driven back from dropping DS off @ school and have sobbed uncontrollably and made myself sick from crying. I actually think nobody would really give a shit if I was not here. I am stuggling to see any point in anything. I have massive debts, not helping because it is hard to concentrate on work, I hate my beautiful house right now, just reminds me of us. I have a constant pain in my right temple. Eating really badly which is really not good for my diabetes.

I thought I was doing so well and this weekend it all seems to have come crashing down. I just want it all to end.

Sorry for the long rant but I need to sensible advise on how to get past all these horrible thoughts I am having.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blossomflowers · 03/02/2014 10:13

No you don't Temper tbh It did not occur to think about mentioning food to FW, firstly trying to have as little contact as possible but yesterday DS was literally being picked up and dropped off to meet his mates becuase I have no transport. I think FW is proving to be rather nasty under the guise of mr nice guy.

Sadly I have to ask FW to do school run today as I am car less, surprise surprise he did not turn up, so DS has had to miss school

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Original poster
Blossomflowers · 03/02/2014 10:19

donkey not slow lol. No I have car back so all that sorted, now my head is getting there slowly, I will get finances sorted, just have to get head down and work. I don't want to go back renting as would never get a mortgage again. No FW has no claim to house, though he may think so, taking advice from non informed "friends"
Yes EON bill from Xmas, I have rung them and given them his work number and mobile and told them to pursue him.

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DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 03/02/2014 10:22

Earlier you said FW is winning, he isn't winning, any dickish unhelpfulness like today is him making himself look petty and pathetic.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 03/02/2014 10:24

Wish I could see his face when EON start phoning his mobile number.

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 03/02/2014 10:43

Yea me to, FW is whinging about how he has no moneyand gets really stressed about money, he now has a tax bill to pay also. He is on very dodgy ground as I know he has been commiting tax fraud ( remember large stock of antiques, bought and sold for cash, I found out about) They will catch him eventually. But still he really needed a laptop and Landrover, what a dick. He has just texted me to day he did not see the message.

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mistlethrush · 03/02/2014 13:38

How's your shoulder doing now Blossom?

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 03/02/2014 13:42

mistle thanks for asking, still having to take painkillers and waking me up @ night, no news on Xray or Physio. I fancy it is slightly better but maybe just getting used to being in pain. Fingers are numb now so not sure what that means.

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 03/02/2014 13:45

If your fingers are numb I would get back to the Dr - I know that you'll feel that you're 'pestering' but clearly the treatment you've had so far is not sufficient and you don't want there to be any problem resulting from the numbness

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 03/02/2014 13:54

omg 5 months of pain, you poor thing. I am sick and tired after a few weeks. I am now convinced it is a nerve problem not muscle as first thought. Will try the Amithiptyline tonight, that is especially good for nerve pain and also used as an AD, so double whammy.

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mistlethrush · 03/02/2014 14:04

But it isn't 5 months of pain - its a while every night where I wake up and have to change position - then drop back to sleep and then wake and move again... so its not remotely like being in agony throughout the day and waking with pain too.... I have earmarked half term week to get an appointment as there'll be no school runs...

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 03/02/2014 15:57

Just had a call, XRay booked for tomorrow, hope car is fixed. Hopefully might shed some light on what's happening.

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 03/02/2014 16:17

That's really good that you have an appointment.

Mind you, last time I went for an xray I simply turned up and waited until they had a slot - this is what they 'do' in our area apparently - worked for me (but I went at a quiet time obviously!)

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 04/02/2014 08:39

Had to ask FW to do school run as there is no other way to get him there as part for the car is going to be in until later this morning, surprise surprise he has not turn up Angry I feel like sending him a very rude text. What a complete dick, he has no excuse that he did not know, as he def did.

OP posts:
TemperamentalAroundCorvids · 04/02/2014 08:47

He would rather let you down and make your life difficult than support DS getting to school? Tosser: Angry for you and Sad for DS.

Don't send a text! (although I understand the urge).

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 04/02/2014 09:01

I thought yesterday, if you had texted him Hey I found a cheque made out to you for £6 grand! he'd have seen that one all right. Well, maybe it was genuine then but if it's deliberate today that speaks volumes.

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 04/02/2014 10:12

donkey I know 100% he had read the request because he responded to something else in the same text
temper sorry could not resist but just sent him one word "thanks" Blush I am so annoyed, this is the only thing I have asked him to do, yea tosser is right, he rally is a pathetic specimen.
Latest thing is he is chartering boat and wants to take DS fishing, umm not comfortable about that either. He is so unreliable

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mistlethrush · 04/02/2014 10:32

And look what happened last time he did that!

Anyway - if he's not got enough money to pay the electricity bill, he's not got enough money to charter a boat.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 04/02/2014 10:35

If he's doing that he is definitely taking the mickey. FWery turned up to 11!

TemperamentalAroundCorvids · 04/02/2014 10:35

Text fine - especially as its subtext is "thanks for nothing" but you didn't actually spell it out.

Hope car gets fixed OK. Is it reliable? If it lets you down in future, is there any way you can plan a possible Plan B that dows not involve FW?

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 04/02/2014 10:48

Hoping car will be sorted, need to sell them both and buy an all rounder, car is reliable normally only a wheel bearing but getting a bit old. .
He does not have enough money for electricity or to pay me but still bought a laptop last week, which he would not have a clue how to use.
Not much to ask is it to take your own son to school a couple of times in 8 weeks

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Original poster
Blossomflowers · 04/02/2014 12:39

Grrr, just got myself embroiled in a txt argument with FW just made see red when he claims he did not see the txt ( to which the idiot replied to) and nothing his fault. This is how he has always been but when in black and white still denying. I hate him right now. Bloody garage was sent wrong part for car so not sure it can be fixed today, so DS may have to miss another day, will not ask FW, will never ask him for anything ever again, other than money. I think CSA might be he order of the day.
I am really annoyed at myself now, have been so good at detaching, though slight satisfaction that it annoyed him. Truth hurts I suppose.

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 04/02/2014 12:56

Step away from the phone texts!!!

Make yourself a cuppa and go and sit in the sun for 10 mins and listen to the birds and breathe slowly and deeply!

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 04/02/2014 13:07

I know, I know. I am a twat for engaging, I just would like to wring his self entitled neck, I sure he believes he is in the right and I am being an unreasonable bitch. Kettle on,[mistle] off for my Xray soon,. have had to ask dm to give me a lift as car less help asking for help.

OP posts:
TemperamentalAroundCorvids · 04/02/2014 15:09

Losing one's detachment is a good thing, some of the time. (FW and I had a full on stand up shouty row in front of a mutual friend while settlement negotiations were ongoing, and it actually helped clear my thinking most wonderfully)

As it seems to have done for you :) :

[I] will not ask FW, will never ask him for anything ever again, other than money. I think CSA might be the order of the day.

Hope your afternoon is going ok.

[mistle]??

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 04/02/2014 17:06

Yipeeee! car back am mobile again. Had Xray done this pm, it was hilarious GP had put down left arm not right on the form and had to convince the chap to do it and I knew which shoulder it was.

Have calmed down now, just put this morning down as a blip, will not be engaging with the false emotionally retarded FW any time soon.

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