I still haven't moved out, do I take everything? Part 2

[FarOverTheRainbow]

This is a follow on from the first thread I done in AIBU here's the link

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1867926-WIBU-to-move-out-and-take-everything

I can't thank everyone enough for all the help and support you've given me. It's been invaluable and you lovely people have helped get me out of a really dark place and are still doing so. When I read the start of my old thread and think about how I felt 8 weeks ago I never thought I'd be where I am now and even though I still have a long long way to go I wouldn't be half way here if it wasn't for the support here very soppy but so true

I hope I don't lose anyone moving to here

Far, I know it doesn't feel like it, but it's all good really.

The flat will be delayed so you have more time at the refuge.
He has done something utterly stupid which will backfire badly.
The refuge people are happy with you.
and last, but not least, the dog's tests are clear!

Reasons to be cheerful!

The meeting tomorrow will be helpful.
Your solicitor will tell you how to deal with Cafcass if she doesn't do it for you (which she may well).
Your wall-paper lady will be back at work on Monday, and you have plans to spend a weekend with her - working, but it will be a laugh.

Your daughter is well cared for, very much loved, and basically all fine and wonderful.

You are doing so well.

I dont feel like im doing well theres so much going on and I feel.a.mess

Well you will feel a mess. I felt a mess when my marriage ended - people said to me 'you're so brave' (I left him, he was an abuser) but I didn't feel brave, I felt a failure and guilty and a mess, I was in an awful state. I could barely function for quite a while.

And I left him, whereas you have, on top of everything, that he did the dirty, so there's rejection and betrayal to work through, too (come here, let me give you a ((hug))). It may be of small comfort that you are so much better off that you and dd are out of relationship with him, regardless how it happened - life has done you a favour, but it won't feel like it right now.

Keep going, lovely. You're in the best place to fall apart. I'm so glad to hear your flat is coming along, bet it's starting to look great xxx

I had a really good support session this morning. we went through this abuse wheel and talked about the different points kn each category and what applied to me and there was something each section and she said she thinks there are other points that sre relevant to me that I didnt pick out.

We spoke about the freedom programme and she is going to . refer me.to one and also wants to arrange on going suppirt once I leave

Sounds very positive! Hope things are starting to look brighter. How's your doggy?

Sounds great, Far. On going support will be worth its weight in gold too.

How is the lovely dog (fingers crossed)?

The dog is improving slowlt bless him so fingers crossed poor boy.

I think the flat will be completely wallpapered by sunday

Glad he's on the mend! :)

So that's even more good news! so glad the dog's OK.

Thank you im glad too

the flat is really taking shape today, DDs room.just needs painting and the living room almsot has all the wall paper up and one wall has had the first coat

I finally picked all my wall paper

Aw great! You'll have the place looking lovely in no time, and just think... everything has been chosen by YOU. Look forward to your first post from your new home, when DD is in her new bed & you have your feet up with a large vino or a vat of tea

Keep going OP... and remember how far you've come

SO glad to read this - it all sounds really positive. And yay for having your home the way you want it! Also glad the support sessions are proving so constructive, too. You deserve every scrap of the help now available to you, and it's so bloody cheering to see you get it at last. You've come such a long way since you started posting. Hope you're a bit proud of yourself - what a great mum you are.

thank you . my.living room is done and so is DDs. mine should be finished . tomorrow along with both hall ways and that just leaves the kitchen and bathroom

my solictor is being a nightmare to get hold of though

I think you need to talk to the staff at the hostel about getting another solicitor. Yours seems particularly disinterested and useless. I can appreciate it's a stress to go through it all again with someone else, but I really think you need to to ensure the right outcome long term.

Wa-hey! to the house getting into shape. Well done, you have been working really hard!

Still following your thread and cheering you on! I'm sure there'll be lots of difficult or down times ahead - aren't there always? - but you don't have to take notice of HIM anymore!

Are you following any other woman's thread? There are quite a few incredibly brave women who have escaped abusive partners and are struggling to make new lives for themselves and their children. I just wondered whether it would be easier for you to see how well you have done by seeing the similarities with someone else.

I'm not expressing this very well so I hope you know what I'm trying to say!

Im still not very excited about . moving but I think some of that is becauae I hate unpacking but I cant wait to get my dog back!!!! im missing him so much

No teenybash im not. I was on a single parents thread but over christmas I havent been online much. I would like to.read them though if anyone has any links?

im looking . forward to having.a.few days away from the flat tbh last day there today until friday

I'll have a go at a couple of links next time I can get on the desktop. It's all I can do to type on this phone and I've never tried to do a link!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships?call=NewConversationPage

Having a go on phone! Sorry if it's not right!

I'll have another go...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1932428-I-have-told-about-DV-after-over-a-year-of-MN-telling-me

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1964312-Im-so-upset-and-low-Please-give-me-some-advice-DH-said-hes-done-nothing-wrong-and-its-my-fault

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1957943-Why-does-he-deny-the-patently-obvious

It's a lot easier on the desktop!

thanks teeny ill look though them . later

my dad has phoned and someone has been looking for.me at my nans asking where am I, does she know an.address or phone numbee ans apparently.looked like she had something for him to sign

Today has been a nightmare. DD has had a reaction to her jabs yesturday so I had to take her to the hospital today but were back now thankfully. The medication is bringing her temperature down and were cuddled on the sofa watching 101 Dalmatians.

Ive just filled out my community support grant too with.my support workered but DD had enough then

Hope dd is better soon!