I still haven't moved out, do I take everything? Part 2

[FarOverTheRainbow]

This is a follow on from the first thread I done in AIBU here's the link

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1867926-WIBU-to-move-out-and-take-everything

I can't thank everyone enough for all the help and support you've given me. It's been invaluable and you lovely people have helped get me out of a really dark place and are still doing so. When I read the start of my old thread and think about how I felt 8 weeks ago I never thought I'd be where I am now and even though I still have a long long way to go I wouldn't be half way here if it wasn't for the support here very soppy but so true

I hope I don't lose anyone moving to here

the lady here at refuge said it reads as if hes wrting it to someone who has died and its like a memorial thing

this is driving me mad he seems to do a few things in one go like the day his solictor emails me he texts. he outs an announcement in the paper and posts a card, im surprised it wasnt recorded delivery so he could prove to the court how much he loves her and proof he sent it

I do actually hate him. I nevee thought I could love someone so much and in the space of 3m be disgusted with them

Far, I hate him too, and I don't say that lightly. But I do think it will all help in the end to prove he's unstable, threatening and a danger to you and your daughter. Thread by thread he'll make a rope and hang himself.

Im hesitating to say this but re the Christmas day thing (going to your mums and parking your car outside) - are you up to it? yy I know it'll flush him out - I think we can guarantee it'll be an almighty ding dong. Perhaps alert the police so they're ready to act quickly when he kicks off so he spends Christmas day in the cells

Glad to hear you hate him! Next you'll see what a pathetic loser he is and you'll laugh at him. I know you know you need a solicitor, but you have to feel comfortable with the solicitor you have and so far you have not (didn't one tell you to start weaning so he can have access? Cheers, solicitor! ). Perhaps interview some more solicitors next year?

Stay strong Far. He is a complete loser isn't he? Ignore all the passive aggressive posturing. He may think it proves he loves his daughter but I think it had the opposite effect. It's clearly for show - we can see it, you can see it and the refuge can see it. Keep it, but ignore it and enjoy Christmas.

Commonly, Christmas is the time abusers are at their worst. You may get to see that tomorrow. I know it's horrible, but in the long-term this may be the best thing for you and DD, Far. If he kicks off and the police can caution or arrest him, he'll have done all the work of a non-mol court hearing for you.

Do not weaken Far because it's Christmas. It's one day. You have to think about what's going to be in the best interest of DD and you for the years going forward. You are doing so well. Keep going. Keep strong.

Interesting, far, that the refuge woman sees it like that. I agree that he is grieving and he will probably now go through the various stages. It will make him feel more and more distant from his dd and from you which is perhaps deep down what he wants. Some men would rather have nothing to do with their children than to watch them grow and flourish without them.

Very very sad, and childish.

I think its best if I do go to my mums I need to know how ill feel to be back for a few days. I might hate it and like being further away.

whatever happens tomorrow will happen. I know DD is safe at my mums ans theres no way he will get near her so I don't care about the rest. if he smashes my car then I have insureance and the proof I nees to stay away and hooefully a order to.make him stay away from.me and a criminal record

there isnt a hope in hells chance of mt weakening tomottow he isn't getting near her. in a werid way I want him to kick off so I cqn call the oolice and get protection in place but whay will be will be

And yes, do let him publicly make him an arse of himself as bunchoffives says. Have a good Chrismas and stay strong. Next year will be very different.

Wow Far, you sound really sorted and strong.

I hope you and family have a good day in spite of ex.

Far you are doing so well! I wondered if there was anywhere near your mum's where there was CCTV in the street so you could park there so was a recording should your car suffer any damage?

Keep strong and have a wonderful day tomorrow with your mum and gorgeous DD.

grieving my arse. He's not grieving for his daughter, if he's grieving for anything at all it's his loss of control.

Glad to hear you're sorted about Christmas day. I too think it will be better in the long run if he comes out all bells and whistles on the day so it's quite clear what he's really about (not what he says he's about ie missing his daughter) and he can get nabbed for it.

Thinking of you both Hope you have as nice a day as possible at your mum's & the new year brings much happier times :)

I hope everyone has a great Christmas thank you all for your support if I have any drama tomorrow ill wait till boxing dqy to update lol

Good luck.

Have a happy Christmas.

Merry christmas, I hope you have a lovely day with your little girl,

Happy Christmas, Far. I hope you and your beautiful DD have a lovely one.

Hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas

I hope it's all going well Far!

thanks shiny hope you're having a great day

all quite here thankfully, he sent my mum a bitchy text about.me earlier but thats it and my.car is still in tact

Merry Christmas Far, glad the day is peaceful. Tell your mum to save her messages too.

I know that if I had had contact with my daughter removed I'd be on the lookout for times I could catch a glimpse of her. It's obvious that you'd be at your mums on christmas day with your dd. But he probably had a lie-in and then, well, there's christmas lunch, and then, well, a bit of telly. he probably cba

Glad you had a peaceful day though I'm disappointed he didn't spend the day in the cells Ho ho ho!

Next year will be so much better, far. To put it in perspective, I have never heard of anyone to send a bitchy text to anyone on Christmas day, that is just not normal behaviour. Christmas is the one day when you put your differences aside for the sake of peace. You really have a one-off kinda guy - but the fact that he has indirectly abused you via text shows that he knows how far he can go before he puts himself in jeopardy legally.

Hope everyone had a good Christmas

I never heard anything more. I know he would have driven around but my car is still in tact

today im looking at wallpaper exciting but a nightmare to pick

Oh Far that's so good. Really delighted you and DD had a nice day, and that you now feel more confident about the lovely new place, too. Here's to a happier, more positive 2014 for you and your little girl.

I'm back at the refuge and it was all quite at my mums apart from his. text. I feel completely shattered. hoping DD goes to.bed on time and settles well so I can laze around