I still haven't moved out, do I take everything? Part 2

[FarOverTheRainbow]

This is a follow on from the first thread I done in AIBU here's the link

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1867926-WIBU-to-move-out-and-take-everything

I can't thank everyone enough for all the help and support you've given me. It's been invaluable and you lovely people have helped get me out of a really dark place and are still doing so. When I read the start of my old thread and think about how I felt 8 weeks ago I never thought I'd be where I am now and even though I still have a long long way to go I wouldn't be half way here if it wasn't for the support here very soppy but so true

I hope I don't lose anyone moving to here

Have a lazy weekend

god moving isnt cheap

You can make it cheaper if you're willing to use things like freecycle. You can also sometimes get a grant from the council for decorating, it isn't much but it helps. You might have to compromise and use paint instead of wallpaper for example, but the important thing is you'll be in your own home - it won't matter if it takes a while to have it decorated exactly how you'd like it because you & dd will make it a special place regardless

im willing to use free cycle and ive applied for a decorating grant. I only wanted to paper 1 wall and paint everywhere else.

I wanted to put carpets down but ive just got a price and wasnt expecting that much

Get quotes for Carpets. I always thought Carpet Right was cheap, they are not. Mr Carpet was a lot cheaper. Try see if you can find 3 different quotes.

I'm going to another place tomorrow together t quotes and there's a place that I know is cheap but XP best mTe works there so I'm going to get someone they don't no to go in and get a quote and if there cheaper get someone to be there and get them fitted and he'll be none the wiser.

I've got an auntie who can put wall paper up and me and my mum can do the rest of the painting

Off cuts are great. All our carpets are offcuts; sometimes they're enormous! Shop around. The internet is your friend here!

If you could manage with big rugs rather than fitted carpets (depends on the underneath flooring, I know) then IKEA sell really cheap massive rugs. We have wooden floors and they're old pine ones - look pretty, but cold in winter - so we have rugs down. It's cheaper than fitted and easier to replace if need be.

Exciting though, planning your new place! What a lovely start to 2014 for you and your DD.

it is exciting but im really nervous about leaving the refuge because I think. I rely on their support to much

ill mention cut offs at the next place I go. I didnt realise how many small bits you take.for granted like mop and sweeping brush, toilet brush and mats, towels ect things that dint cost much but add up

im in a strange mood today I keep thinking about the past and how good it was and if I done this different or that then things could be different

This is the hard bit, and you're doing so well, it's normal to have wobbles!!

I'm sure you have happy memories, and the past wasn't all bad... of course it wasn't. But you left because things were not all good, and because you both deserve a better future xxx

But not with your ex - please don't think that. I often think if only I'd done x instead of y, but it never makes me feel any better. All you can do is look forward and give yourself credit for getting yourself and your child away.

You weren't the one to choose to behave so badly, Far. He was. You can't control what other people do, sadly. He wanted you and his child in a homeless hostel, he wanted to steal from you, he chose to threaten and harass you, he chose to neglect your daughter and to hand her over to someone he knew openly stated she got a kick out of a baby being distressed. Those are decisions he made. It's natural to be sad that things went so to shit, and to mourn the life you thought you had and expected to have in the future, but please don't think you could have altered this. The only person who could was your ex.

I dont know why but I just keeo reliving everything in my head and I know were over and I dont even want to be with him I dont love him but today I feel abit like oh god wheres my.life going to go my future was with him

I know your all right but I cant help . think if I behaved differently and put up with his mum but . still . kept DD safe and Suprised he could wided up to her and not be so blind.and brain.washed

Your future is with your dd and with the amount of love you clearly have for her it will be bright and happy
Every time you start to think otherwise, remind yourself of how far you have come in such a short space of time and how amazing that makes you

You could apply to the councils welfare fund for a community care grant. You qualify as you are coming out of a refuge and were made homeless. They might help you with furniture or carpets. I'm not sure how it works in England but it's def worth a try. Bear ins mind most councils give goods not money though. Good luck and well done for being so strong x

some charities, do starter packs for people like yourself that were homeless and now have accommodation but not really anything to go into it, my last church put together several cleaning packages, consisted of brush mop, washing up liquid bleach dusters, j-clothes a scrubbing brush dustpan and brush, polish etc, I know churches/ scouts/rotary club etc others had done bedlinen, cutlery/cooking stuff boxes

Thanks for the ideas. the refuge have said they can apply for certain things but have said theyll tell me more about itsoon when I get my 28 days notice

You are very very impressive Far and don't you forget that!!

You have coped so well throughout with good sense and calm logic. You really are amazing.

I know looking back might be sad, it's inevitable I think when you break up. You have to assess where you are now and how you feel. But keep in mind it definitely wasn't you, it was him. There was nothing you could have done to change him.

It's natural to feel a bit worried and wobbly about the future, but you will manage fine for you and DD. Trust yourself.

.... and you never know what life has in store for you round the corner!!

I hope everyone has a good night tonight. I'm taking dd out for a few hours so hopefully that will be nice

Happy New Year, Far. I hope 2014 brings wonderful things for you and your beautiful dd in your lovely new home.

Thank you storm, happy new year to.you too

Far I think when you get into your lovely new home, and spring comes, you will feel so, so much better. If you can just make it for about two more months... stay strong, try to be positive and focus on your DD, I think you will be surprised how much better 2014 can be for you!! That is my hope for you.

thanks white, tbh I can't see 2014 getting any betterm things feel kike there about to get a whole lot worse but hopefully not