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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Shit! 'H' found out I've opened a bank account

204 replies

devonsmummy · 11/11/2013 12:49

He was verbally & physically abusive to me & ds a couple of weeks ago.
I want to leave but am a sahm in a jointly mortgaged property.
The only appointment the women's centre had was during half term so couldn't take it.
I've set up a bank account( as all I had was a joint account)
I don't know how he found out, but H phoned this morning & asked why I had a new account.
I was caught off guard & said because I wanted my own.
He's called again saying ' I don't understand why you need an account ' I cut the call short as just leaving for school run.
How do I make it seem innocent & not an account to use when I fell him its over?
I'm actually shitting myself about him coming home later as I know he won't leave it

OP posts:
Tuhlulah · 12/11/2013 13:00

Devons, can you let us know how you are today?

FestiveEdition · 12/11/2013 16:34

Also checking back ....are you OK, Devons

deste · 12/11/2013 20:21

Today we had a letter addressed to myself and DH. It was my bank statement but they had added my DH's name to it. He did ask where the account came from, neither of us knew what it was. When I checked its one of my accounts with his name added to it., could this have happened tp you.

perfectstorm · 12/11/2013 20:50

Thinking of you, Devons.

garlicbutter · 12/11/2013 21:06

Good grief, when are banks going to make it into the 21st century? Angry Or are they waiting until they've sucked us all dry apart from debts, when they can just roll it into one massive repayment plan for us all? Confused

Sorry, devons, got a bit carried away there! I'd love to find you're offline because in a refuge ... Wishing you all the very best, wherever you're at.

Tuhlulah · 13/11/2013 11:49

Thinking of you, Devons. Let us know how things are.
x

Pinkpinot · 13/11/2013 12:39

If you've changed the account that the cb gets paid to, there would have been a letter confirming that. Did he receive/see that?

FestiveEdition · 13/11/2013 12:51

Devons, as someone said - hope you are not returning because you are now somewhere safe, but some of us are quite worried about you.

If you do feel able to just post an "I'm OK", it would be great.

cloudskitchen · 13/11/2013 13:26

Thinking of you Devons Thanks

MorningHasBroken · 13/11/2013 15:13

I've been checking back constantly, worrying about you. Please let us know if you're okay, Devons.

NancyOsbourne · 13/11/2013 15:29

Thinking of you Devon Thanks

43percentburnt · 13/11/2013 18:36

Does your husband track both of your credit files via experian/equifax. He may have set up an account if you have recently applied for credit and been rejected or if you were trying to improve your credit score to obtain future credit. He may have set one up in your name too, this is illegal but very very easy to do if you live with someone and know about their info or have access to their info.

If he does track your credit, he would have received a text saying your credit file had changed, he could then have logged on and would see you applied for a bank account.

Scarily he could do all the above and you could easily know nothing about it.

Look at your bank statements, credit card bills and see if money goes to experian, equifax, credit expert, call credit. You also get it 'free' with a natwest silver account. This would show as a £10 charge each month from your natwest account.

43percentburnt · 13/11/2013 18:38

If the bank have told him that you have an account, by calling him for example, they have breached the data protection act. It would be taken very very seriously.

Tuhlulah · 13/11/2013 20:04

Still no Devons? Fuck.

FestiveEdition · 13/11/2013 22:51

Deeply worrying.

Mumbrage · 13/11/2013 22:53

Devons Brew

Hope you are ok.

hollyisalovelyname · 15/11/2013 00:27

Devons thinking of you

mindlessmama · 16/11/2013 13:10

Where are you Devons? Sad Praying you are safe somewhere.

kittybiscuits · 16/11/2013 13:16

Also thinking of you devons and checking regularly. Please be safe x

starfishmummy · 16/11/2013 13:51

We had the opposite to deste - bank suggested we open a savings account linked to our joint account, which we agreed to; but they just set it up in my name. DH knew all about it - and was not in the least bothered; but it could have been very different especially as the person I spoke to was not at all helpful regarding rectifying their error.

paxtecum · 16/11/2013 14:20

As already said - he could have installed key logger onto the PC.
Hope you are ok.

marimeifod · 16/11/2013 14:40

Devons, just to echo the others that I am thinking of you. Please post when you can to let people know you are OK.

Just a thought as well - you said you're deleting your internet browing history every day, but do you have an account with your search engine? For example, if you have a google account, and are logged on to that account when you make a google search, it is possible to access your google search history which is separate from your computer's browing history. Does that make sense? Just wondering if you were aware of that and can use that info to make your browsing safer.

jellyfl00d · 16/11/2013 15:28

Does Mnet ever check people are ok in this situation?

Mumpiring · 16/11/2013 15:37

Maybe he's not letting her on the internet. my x used to hate those backslapping feminist lezbos. That's why I left him. Had my head filled with hate by the backslapping feminist lezbos.

I hope the OP is ok. Maybe (with luck) things are in a calm phase in the cycle at the moment.

MorningHasBroken · 18/11/2013 14:16

Devons, just to let you that people are still checking back on you. Hope things are okay - please do let us knowing how things are going as soon as you can.