any dating gurus around?

[Mitchy1nge]

so if you met someone, and had quite a nice time at a party with them (no snogging or sexuals) and you were reasonably sure he fancied you but you didn't fancy him as such but quite liked him as a person, and so if you went on to send him a message asking if he would like to come to the cinema to watch a film (that he had been talking about) with you but he hadn't responded within 24 hours would you:

1. think never mind, nothing ventured nothing gained
2. check you got the number right
3. find out where he lives and let yourself in while he is at work and surprise him?

I'm thinking 1 but I really do think he liked me, he wrote a lovely poem and everything (everything being making an origami crane) so am a bit puzzled that he wouldn't at least say thanks but no, or ideally 'yes that would be lovely'. Hmmm.

it was sort of effortful tracking people down, is quite a chaotic day and people haven't made it to their usual places of work and lots of people without electricity and have other stuff to attend to than me asking 'but did he say anything about me? can you check what number you have for him please?' and so on

bored of it now, but am sure this will change if he responds

coughcough

Why didn't you exchange numbers at the party, and why are friends of friends sharing his number?

friends of friends invited us both to this party as a subtle match making enterprise

he did talk about numbers but I am a bit 'dance until 6am' at these things and he is more sort of physically normal and sloped off to a spare room at about 4am, I'm not very good at sitting down and talking if there is dance music playing somewhere, but he was the one who suggested going to see a film - all I have done really is find a way of letting him know that I would like to go and watch it with him

what the mutual friends have told me is that he logs onto FB about once every 18 months and that he used it to let them know that he had 'an absolutely amazing night' but of course I might not have had anything to do with that!

If he was that into you, he'd have been the one looking for your phone through friends of friends.

Nothing wrong with you doing it, but just don't expect too much.

but then surely I wouldn't be that into him if I wasn't the one looking for the number? what would be the difference if he'd asked them for mine?

It's absolutely fine not to be some weird rule-following geisha who waits for the man to contact first.

Hope he's up for the cinema!

I bet he'll be keen. People are pretty rarely wrong about these things IME, you usually know whether someone likes you or not. Whether they do anything about it is another thing!

Keep us posted :)

Like I said, it's fine for you to do the chasing. It only seems too much chasing, when he could have simply asked you for your number or his friends too.

Just don't be too disappointed if it turns out he wasn't that interested.

just in case

So? Any answer?

thanks, I hope so too :)

but if not am quite cheered up by having met someone I like without advertising myself on an internet site and wading through all that dross first (which was thinking of doing, now I have decided to Do Dating)

didn't know getting someone's phone number was stalking, thought it was fairly normal stuff

If you have to ask friends of friends, in the middle of a huge storm aftermath, it borders on stalkerish.

Did he say goodbye when he left?

ooh missed loads of posts, no, no answer yet

I still do not understand how it is too much chasing for me to ask for his number but not for him to ask for mine

but anyway assuming this time I have the right number I will just wait and see :)

we had a long long silent cuddle saying goodbye, it was nice

I think he is probably a bit complicated but if he is up for it I'd love to find out how well we get on together in a less noisy setting

And he didn't ask how he could contact you? Or even actually ask you to see the film with him?
And why didn't you ask him, then?

(and that's it really, life is short so am not going to sit around and wait for something to happen if I can initiate it myself but no stalking I promise!)

I couldn't sit still at the time. But I may well have misjudged his interest in me, in which case he didn't help himself with all the poetry and origami homages to my dancing skills, but he can say no or just not respond. It is ok! Like I said, nothing ventured . . .

I was watching

this
and

yesterday.

Now he's going to reply enthusiastically

Good luck mitch, you have the right attitude. I hope it goes well for you.

hahahaha thanks lweji!

ah, perhaps in time my heart will heal and I may yet live to stalk again (I hope)

(I was kind of hoping those youtube clips would be of the karate kid)

Good luck. :)

It's a haiku, innit?

Do you really think he made it up on the spot for you? Genuine question, Mitch.

You make me btw.

nah I think he wrote it ages ago in wild desperate hopes of maybe one day meeting someone who was so truly gifted in the interpretive dancing arts he would have no choice but to fold it into the shape of a crane and hand it to her?

(I know he made it up on the spot because our host found all different versions of it with crossings out :))