any dating gurus around?

[Mitchy1nge]

so if you met someone, and had quite a nice time at a party with them (no snogging or sexuals) and you were reasonably sure he fancied you but you didn't fancy him as such but quite liked him as a person, and so if you went on to send him a message asking if he would like to come to the cinema to watch a film (that he had been talking about) with you but he hadn't responded within 24 hours would you:

1. think never mind, nothing ventured nothing gained
2. check you got the number right
3. find out where he lives and let yourself in while he is at work and surprise him?

I'm thinking 1 but I really do think he liked me, he wrote a lovely poem and everything (everything being making an origami crane) so am a bit puzzled that he wouldn't at least say thanks but no, or ideally 'yes that would be lovely'. Hmmm.

life is not all rising fuel bills people, it can be fun and nice too :)

It's not impressive, though, knowing it's Version 12.

What I'd do is find out his address and send him a Haiku Response, written inside an origami frog, with 'Can I kiss you, my prince?' penned prettily on the outside.

Even better, make a giant one and jump out of it as he unfolds it.

Oh yes, like a cake.

Be naked.

Puts me off too, having to chase a man (even if that means just sending a text). But I know so many happily married friends who have had to do just that...

Alternative is moving to a country where the men actually do ask you out on dates ... like Holland?!

OP I met DH through a mutual friend though it wasn't a set-up or match making, more a case of his friends saying 'we're going to meet Sally and her friend Loopy might come along too - do you (DH) want to join us?

I had a long term boyfriend at the time but DH got my number by asking his friend to ask my friend ( we were long distance and this was well before email and texts existed.) He phoned me up and asked for a date. That was 30 years ago.

Moral of story- if men are keen they will find a way.

am not moving back to holland, my husband still lives there

although he is temporarily ensconced in some monastery in thailand

am still looking forward to a reply :)

hah all you nay-sayers, just got a Lovely Long reply so ner

it says: "Hi Mitchy, I am still alive [in my text I'd said hope you got home ok and haven't been killed by a tree] and I even managed a three mile run yesterday [I didn't know he liked running! I'm going to ask him to MARRY ME!]. Would be nice to see the film, it is called Enders Game but I cannot guarantee the actual number of stealth fighters. Maybe you should look it up online and see if it is your cup of tea. We could go next week and meet in Town Y which I think is easy for you to get to? x"

so he IS that into me, now to find out if there are enough stealth bombers/any aircraft with good situational awareness or is imperceptible to radar in Enders Game to make it worth for sitting still for 5 hours or however long a film lasts

hooray for me :)

That's good. :)
Ask him when it's a good time for him and you'll have your definitive answer.

as if I need a more definitive answer - he said he went for a run ergo we are meant to be together

but seriously that film does look not all that amazing and we won't be able to talk and sitting down for that long will be awful, am going to work out when I am actually free and propose an alternative

Make sure you pick an empty room and sit at the back.

what?

Sorry, I meant for the film, so you can have some privacy?

ahhhhh ok sorry

cinema in question only has one screen

Films are not a good bet for a first date unless you have a meal / drink before or after- or both. Otherwise you sit in silence- assuming you are both too old and sophisticated to snog in the back row.

they're not are they? I was thinking of asking if he'd like to ride my horse (he definitely mentioned riding and was interested in the horses) but I think he's never ridden before and my horses can be naughty, but how difficult could he find it, riding round a field? it's just that various of my friends and family will be around so is not very private (although I am too old for the snogging anyway and he is too sophisticated, for a first date anyway)

or this, but maybe that is a bit lame. Plus is only open for a few more days

there is not masses to do round here but I should be able to come up with something

is it rutting season? that's usually quite entertaining and we could walk about a deer park and talk and stuff and enjoy the prehistoric shagging noises

I'd want to go for a meal or a coffee or something.

Mitchy is your ex Dutch?

The Scary thing wouldn't be my scene so is it his?

Why not do a walk and a coffee somewhere? I think the horse riding is a recipe for disaster if your horse is naughty- my idea of a nightmare date!

my ex is a washed up 80s pop star with US and now UK nationality but he's been living in Amsterdam for about 20 years

I just think coffee and a meal or walk or whatever seems really date-y and doesn't give us stuff to actually do. Maybe I will sleep on it and wake up with a brilliant idea :)

Was that nightMARE loopy - no pun intended

I don't see the problem with the cinema. Just go for a drink afterwards and the film gives you something to talk about to get started. Captain Phillips is a good film to see right now, good modern day pirate adventure on the high seas with good acting.

Personally I think a walk and a coffee sounds dull but horses for courses.

If he is trying impress you by running, he does sound keen!

Are you Dutch, OP?

no and I can't even remember how I ended up living in Holland (I do but it's a long and implausible story involving a cult) or why he ended up moving there permanently

anyway I should really get round to getting divorced so I can marry this new chap :)

ok we will go and see this film and See What Happens

hope it is not really long, cinemas are always fucking freezing