any dating gurus around?

[Mitchy1nge]

so if you met someone, and had quite a nice time at a party with them (no snogging or sexuals) and you were reasonably sure he fancied you but you didn't fancy him as such but quite liked him as a person, and so if you went on to send him a message asking if he would like to come to the cinema to watch a film (that he had been talking about) with you but he hadn't responded within 24 hours would you:

1. think never mind, nothing ventured nothing gained
2. check you got the number right
3. find out where he lives and let yourself in while he is at work and surprise him?

I'm thinking 1 but I really do think he liked me, he wrote a lovely poem and everything (everything being making an origami crane) so am a bit puzzled that he wouldn't at least say thanks but no, or ideally 'yes that would be lovely'. Hmmm.

haha of course thanks!

Oh how marvellous! Really pleased for you! ??

oh that's excellent! When's the next one?

later this week or the weekend, hopefully, there is a particular cinema he loves for its special atmospheric and physical comfort/alcohol properties - I just need to choose a film

and there is a film I would quite like to see but they are not showing it there, they seem to have a bit of thing for quite harrowing or difficult material so am giving it some thought

in meantime feel quite smiley about it all, like him a lot and starting to wonder what the sexuals might be like between us if we ever get there

there's a cinema like that not far from me and I've been wanting to go for ages.....now I need to just find someone to go there with!!

Am pleased it's got onto the right footing with you!

you could start going by yourself, then you are definitely increasing your chances of meeting someone who likes that sort of thing, while you are draping yourself seductively all over the bar - maybe they would start a singles/speed dating night once a month or something, if you asked?

he's obviously quite into this actual venue rather than merely wanting to see if I can sit still for two hours so I have picked the least disturbing film and am hoping for the best

how weird is it to wear the same dress for 3 times in a row, shall I just buy a new thing to wear? I would like an Actual Guru to help me a bit :(

IT's a bit weird tbh and if I were your date I'd think you hadn't made much effort

Signed
Online Dating Veteran

Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear

well I have explained that I really only have/like that dress and it's that or running or riding clothes - is not as if have held myself out to be the most normal person he will ever meet

but will buy something if I can find my purse

thank you guru :)

Do you ride or run for a living?

am definitely no dating guru, but perhaps am a clothes guru! I would definitely find something else to wear if you can!

Haven't read the whole thread Mitchy, but FWIW, if a man fancies you, somehow, some way, he will ask you out. Don't do anything else now - it will look (and is) desperate.

Quite apart from the fact that it's 2013 star girl and it's ok for a woman to ask a man out, perhaps you might like to read the thread as we are now discussing what to wear for the third date

Just found this thread and it has brightened my morning. I do love it when a couple of left fielders find each other. Good luck with it all Mitchy, you sound fab and you have an awesome name.

thanks all

this fear-of-appearing-desperate stuff, is it seriously and actually for real? how on earth else do people convey their interest in one another? and how is he not appearing desperate, writing me poetry within a couple of hours! we like each other, it's a bit stupid to be all shy and coy about it isn't it, we will either move on to doing some shagging and make each other a little happier than we were before we met or we won't, it's ok either way (I think?)

running and riding are activities I HAVE to have clothes for I suppose, haven't bought any normal clothes for ages and running has made me change shape and shrink quite a bit. so ok I will look for some dresses and stuff. He looks much more urban than me, with shiny shoes and shit, but hopefully we won't always be wearing clothes and can just get tangled up in the dark together.

I think my horn is coming back!

lol! I like that way of looking at it....you move on to making each other a little happier or you don't.....that's a good way of thinking about it...

I cringed massively yesterday when I saw the guy I mentioned earlier in the school car park....and I honestly was looking like shit.....really don't want to start having to make an effort when I pick my kids up?!? (I don't even get out the car!). He either blanked me, or didn't see me...not sure which! (I know I met him through OD, but it was a massive coincidence that we live nearby each other and kids at same school!!)

I've been following this thread since the beginning and just want to say that you've been so entertaining and I'm really rooting for you. I'm sure he fancies you whatever you wear but treating yourself to a new dress (to go with your new figure) will give you a boost and I'm sure he'll notice that you've made an effort.

Good luck and keep us all posted!

Jenny try meeting a guy online who lives 10 doors down from you. Now that WAS interesting

Op I only asked if you rode or ran for a living because if not I was curious as to what you wore for your everyday life (supermarket, school run, work etc)

And yes yes yes to taking clothes off!!!

glad to entertain :) thanks for the positive wishes chocfemme

well jenny I suppose there is also the ultimate goal chance of making one another Very Miserable Indeed eventually but early days isn't it, to be daydreaming of marriage or cohabitation?

has been ages since I had any sort of paid job, the last but one saw me driving round in a land rover full of naughty dogs and wearing mainly wellies and muddy stuff, so am no help there Bit. Am very scruffy and rubbish at clothes especially in the winter, summer is easy isn't it, just wear a small dress and some sandals. I suppose a small knitted dress and some tights and boots and a coat is the seasonal counterpart to that?

Yes. Dresses are always the answer IMHO. Especially with a running-fit body to show off

please can someone come and get me dressed on Monday

Where are you?

I'm in Suffolk but think I can get somewhere tomorrow to buy something or some things. I do like clothes, they are just not very often on my list of Things That Matter

but also while there are gurus here, what do people think about division of paying for stuff? he seems to always really really want to, I think is perhaps his way of saying 'I value this' especially as I was in the driving seat a bit initially - am not losing sleep over it, just think is prob not ideal or sustainable longer term?

monday is the next date? how exciting.....

re division of paying for stuff - I would say at the moment it's ok, and I assume you are offering to pay? It has only been a few dates so far - maybe you can pay on Monday?