I Cannot believe I am having to talk about this...

[filee777]

I've just come down the stairs having gone for a bit of a lie down, up at 5.40 with the kids this morning, to find my husband looking at porn while my child is in the room with him!

My three year old child!

He jumped up and opened the door, meeting me at the bottom of the stairs and asked me 'why i wasn't still sleeping' and i sort of said 'can i come in' and he let me, but when i checked my computer there were open pages of porn on there!

I said 'what the hell is this' and he said that he just 'wanted to see what would come up in google'??? so I said 'with our son in the room?' and he said the boy had been playing on the other side of the room - that doesnt make it any better in my eyes.

hes just tried to give me a cuddle and i ignored him and he asked 'if i was pissed off' with him and I very much said yes, did some dishes and have come upstairs.

i dont want to talk to him or even LOOK at him right now, my bloody kid was in the room! Surely that is TOTALLY unacceptable????

So annoyed.

Why did he look for images in the laptop if he could do it on the phone? (Which he also did) i dont get that.

No he didn't close the window. I will ask him later when the children are asleep.

I don't get that either you're

What a horrendous situation - it's helpful that you were able to access professional advice quickly.

The manipulation from your husband is also an issue - for somebody whose actions are potentially criminal he's made a good job of laying the blame for ending the marriage on you.

There are a few holes in his story to put it mildly.

Please do take a pen and paper with you when you speak to him later. You need these answers.

Also in the meantime write down what you can remember he said up to to this point from you walking in the room.

To be honest, I'd report him to the police despite the advice from NSPCC. There is a possibility he has a past history you are unaware of, and if nothing else it will scare the living shite out of him. Which is nothing less than he deserves.

I would also do a search on the internet history on the laptop, any pcs in the house, your phone and his (although he will have had time to delete his) if there is any porn viewing can you check what dates/times it was viewed and see if he was on his own with dcs at those times.

Jesus,I'm speechless nearly.

He's looking after his kid, he puts some porn on, he goes and has a wank?! Fucking hell. What kind of freak does this?

You've done brilliantly tho op. really level headed and cool. He needs a serious look at himself.

Just wanted to say how amazingly well you are handling this filee.

I'm as sure as I can be that I would be a gibbering wreck by now.

Fair dues to you, your composure is impressive :)

Yourebeingadick,it may suggest that he was browsing naked ladies etc,saw something that took his eye and so he found the same image on the mobile which is easier to carry. Therefore,a wank in private could happen? I'm neither bloke nor copper but that's what I would think.

Have you ever thought his use of porn was excessive before op?

Yes kringle it could mean that- this is what the op needs to find out from him.

It really doesn't make sense, him going off for a wank and leaving laptop page accessible. Very bizarre, to say the least.

No not really bothered with his porn use, I don't really mind what he does in that respect it's just the fact that my son was potentially shown it

Filee

Was your son sat on the sofa whilst he was searching or not?

I don't know.

Did you check your phone Internet history? You need to - and check it against the pc history (and get the times).

At the very least, your husband has extremely odd priorities and, as said up thread, sees porn use as prosaic hence the mind numbing lack of caution with regard to your DS.

He deletes the history when he looks at porn.

But he will keep a page of porn minimised??

" in the worst case scenario he is grooming our son, in the best case scenario he is a fucking idiot"

I'd suggest there is another scenario, he is using porn excessively and it is fucking his head up.

Well I imagine he will say that he kept it minimised in order to go and delete its history later.

I dont really know.

But you can delete your history without having the page open, so that wouldn't make any sense at all.

Yes I agree about the porn usage. If it is that though, he certainly wont be doing it again, he knows full well it will lead to instant removal from our home and supervised visits with his children.

I can't really ask him now, the children are awake. Tonight we will discuss it again.

I would get him to explain very carefully about the reasons he kept the page accessible, having looked at it long enough to get a hard on, get your phone and go for a wank...

I don't buy "leaving it open to delete later" thing.

Good luck with this, OP. What an awful situation.