He was fucking lying...

[ScarletLady02]

Some users on here are going to say "I told you so" but I said I'd hold my hands up if I found out he was lying to me.

He cheated on me with my best friend. He looked me square in my face and told me afterwards it made him feel sick and he would cut all contact with her.

He's been telling her he loves her and he left me for her.

I am literally shaking with rage as I type this.

I feel sorry for incontinent old dogs in the Dogs Home. I know they can't help it. I don't let them come and shit all over my house though.

And I can say well done you, please believe me it would never have got better, I tried for 30 years and would always think I was getting somewhere and something else would happen, I think when I got counselling he was threatened by it, I told him he would never break me again and within months had this other woman, my age reminded him of me and didn't want me to go when I found out etc. but in some strange way she did me a favour as I then had an 'acceptable' reason to leave.
I'd tell anyone in your situation - don't stay as long as I did.Like SCARY says you have a long life ahead of you, I don't have so much and I do regret that I'm doing all this at 50 not 30x

Thanks, your support really means a lot. I feel a bit less crazy now.

FWIW I can definitely confirm nothing you have done or said on here suggests any craziness

My head's just been all over the place. I don't know HOW I got through today. But I have. Just like I'll get through the next day and the day after.

You will do it for your lovely daughter.

And soon, you will realise you are doing it for yourself too

Now that IS rational thought, OP.
Bang on. Eventually the pain will get more and more bearable till there is no pain left.

cjel you sound like such a lovely warm person, what a dick your exH is

Fucking horrible people.

You will get through this OP, one day at a time

I don't know what I would have done without online support today. I've felt so alone. I feel like I can't trust anyone.

I'm having a Supernatural marathon...Nothing like a perv over Jenson Ackles to heal a broken heart right?

thank you - but I still have that weird feeling when people slag him off of thinking hes not that bad hes just a lost soul. !!!!

I have Grand Designs on in the background. Not exactly a perv-fest but better than a poke in the eye

Old habits, eh, cjel ?

Its quite often when I hear new people living those early days that I realise that I'e come a hundred miles from then.
Every day you move away from today is a day nearer your happy new lifex

I feel like that will be me cjel. I've forgiven him for so much on account of his past. I DO feel for him, he has EVERY right to be angry at the world. Abused children often become very difficult adults. I just can't do it any more. It's ruining my mind. I don't even think about what's best for me...ever. Every thing I do is for him, every thing I do has me worrying about his reaction to it. I can't ever relax. It's exhausting.

You're an inspiration cjel, I'm so glad you're happy now x

Scary -yes but one I will kick
Scarlet you saying how exhausting it is has made me think again. today I am eating chocs with rubbish TV on (same Scary)(( we did build our own - something else that stressed me that I didn't want , but thought poor H he has to have his dreams))
I have warm cosy room to sit in and no longer jump when door or phone goes. you will be here and sooner than you think Scarlet.x

I refuse to say I'm sorry. I say congrats for finally finding out the truth and good luck with your new exciting life.
It's hard at first but you will do it and show the fuckers what you are capable of. She will never be able to relax knowing he's a cheating arse!

Scarlet, that just isn't healthy at all. You know this. All your emotional energy is taken up with him.

Imagine how much lighter you will feel when you don't have to worry about him. When every waking moment isn't pandering to his feelings.

When your DD gets all of you instead what is just left over after he has wrung every last drop of misplaced concern out of you

That isn't love. You need to accept this. It is co-dependance (google it).

You are not responsible for his happiness, he doesn''t even want you to be, that is quite plain although I expect he convinces you of this over and over again

he's a grown man. Let him make his own way in life, instead of sapping your energy and self esteem to bolster his fragile self, picking up and using a variety of other needy women to give you a lift along the way

he is an emotional vampire, a whirling black hole of nothingness where his compassion is

counselling will help you, it will. Hang on for it.

When I thought he'd be going in to hospital yesterday I DID feel lighter. I didn't have to worry about him any more. Then all this happens. I hope he sorts it out so he can go in, he's missed his appointment now because he was in custody. He NEEDS help, help that I can't give him. Not any more.

< nods >

Scary yyyx

Don't feel responsible for him. He made his choice. He can carry on making them on his own. You are moving forward, slowly. There are some fantastic people on this thread.

"Abused children often become very difficult adults"

Pop along to see the Stately Homes threads.

Most of US aren't treating OUR partners and kids like this!

You are what you make of yourself. Don't let ANYONE make excuses for treating you like shit.

Not good enough IS not good enough.

BOO - maybe it should be 'difficult adults were often abused children'