Wet sex.....

[Ohbother5]

I've enquired with dr google but don't seem to come up with much (unlike in the bedroom!).

The problem we have is I get.... Over lubricated shall we say. I don't know what I can do to stop it, or at least tone it down.

DP has his own issues on and off too, obviously when I'm too wet, he isn't getting the feeling and sometimes loses his erection or has to bang away hammer and tongs.

We have a good sex life in general, but this issue means certain positions always fail.

Help!

Herdy I believe it descended into Lego Porn

What's the opposite of ample?

Oh.My.Word

actually crying with laughter, at the wierd 'shared sex story' above. one of the funniest descriptions of sex I've ever heard

McNameChangy Yes it did. I've just finished reading it and was howling at the Lego porn.

Herdy

I learnt all my sexual 'technics' on that thread.

Howled at the poster who said she could only 'hear' Sexual Technics posts in an Ali G voice.

Similarly, I 'hear' AlwaysOptimistic's post in an earnest Rowan-Atkinson-playing-a-vicar-type voice. And the capaciously- fanjoed partner as Hyacinth Bouquet - 'More tea, Vicar?'

Fucking hell AlwaysOptimistic , assisting her in her sexual awakening

Too.
Much.
Information.

Is this your first post by any chance?

Brilliant! Snorting with laughter here. I am meant to be reading something very dull for a presentation at work this week.

Best post I've read in ages. Hulldad, have you ever considered writing some erotic fiction? That would be hilarious.

HQ, immediate move to Classics please?

I do feel you are rather too literal with the adjectives though.
Vom.

:O

no problem is insurmountable

Cheers for that earworm. ^^

hhahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahhahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahhaha

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Fucking ha!

Truly hilarious!

PMSL and the Bad Sex in Literature award for the year goes to...

I read this and actually felt really queasy - not blaming it on morning sickness either!

If it's meant to be a form or erotic literature may I add, that as an English teacher I think it's quite poorly written too!

It's put me off sex for life.

I will never do it again after reading that. Never.

namechange and all I'm marking my place on here while wiping mirthy tears from my eyes

Hehe my husband and I are howling with laughter! Excellent thread.

I had to read that to DP as I was laughing so much. Ample vagina! Ha

Her 'willing' thigh? What the fuck does that mean? Her thigh is 'willing you to take your greasy digits away from her ample vagina?
Fuck me.
That's an exclamation, not a request

She's not the only one becoming slightly tearful. I'm crying tears of joy and clinical fascination.
From my ample vagina.

DIGITAL PENETRATION.