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Wet sex.....

161 replies

Ohbother5 · 29/08/2013 13:57

I've enquired with dr google but don't seem to come up with much (unlike in the bedroom!).

The problem we have is I get.... Over lubricated shall we say. I don't know what I can do to stop it, or at least tone it down.

DP has his own issues on and off too, obviously when I'm too wet, he isn't getting the feeling and sometimes loses his erection or has to bang away hammer and tongs.

We have a good sex life in general, but this issue means certain positions always fail.

Help!

OP posts:
SlangKing · 22/09/2013 21:03

Opposites of ample are meagre and paltry. While curiosity would usually get the better of me, as an 8st weakling caution dictates that I avoid excessively lubricated, ample vages. I could lose my balance on an ill fitting bedsheet and never be seen again!

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 22/09/2013 22:02

All that was missing was "...like chucking a sausage up Briggate".

NorksAreMessy · 22/09/2013 22:33

Bad sex prize I think that should be a nominee, if not the actual winner.
Wonderful

MiddleAgedStrumpet · 22/09/2013 22:56

Hi,

I’m Mrs AlwaysOptimistic.

I like the slow caresses of the hand of my beloved paramour to start my Stygian rivers unleashing, starting like a leak in a damp flat with slum landlords, ending like Niagara Falls.

Sometimes, he feeds me a Thorntons Finest Toffee to get me in the mood, or puts on a film like Gladiator or 300 or Sense and Sensibility to get the juices going in my “Richard Madeley” (as we like to call my thin, shaggy haired cunt).

After I am dripping with lust like a greedy teddy bear at a honeyshop, he then starts on my abdominal area, at which point my thighs cry for attention from his manly, thrusting, digits. We nickname his thumb “Bear Grylls”, cause it frequently chooses to leave its comrades and take the hard, dirty, adventurous way.

As his digits play the Ode to Glory in my nether regions, I chime in to the marvellous Symphony of Lust by taking his limp, quivering sword, and affectionately and considerately stroking it as I do my Persian cat, Jasper.

Then, he wipes off my sweet fishy juices with Andrex Quilted Finest, which reminds him to pay some attention to my puppies.

Finally, feeling like a natural woman, I roll over and say “I love you, babe.”

xxxx

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 22/09/2013 23:00

Thank you for helping those us of struggling with late night munchies.

"Richard Madeley" was spot on tho'.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 22/09/2013 23:00

Christ: ".. those of us"!!!

AnyFucker · 23/09/2013 01:20

Own up, fgs Smile

MikeLitoris · 23/09/2013 07:34

Pah! @ Richard Madely

Nagoo · 23/09/2013 09:50
Tazza70 · 23/09/2013 16:18

You can go to your local GUI (STD clinic) and explain the problem to them. They will do some routine tests to make sure that there is no infection that is causing the problem. If everything comes back clear they will be able to freeze some of the cells that produce the moisture so you will produce less. It is very quick and not painful.

morethanpotatoprints · 23/09/2013 16:21

Make the most of it as you soon dry up during the menopause.
Sorry, not much help I know. Grin

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